Gay Relationship Without Anal Sex

[ruggerkit28]

i too am not keen on anal, either giving or taking. Never been a problem. I am in a LTR with a guy who feels the same.

We both love sucking dick, and have some mega sessions together.

I think the whole anal thing in gay sex is vastly overdone, probably because of all the porn.

 

[NY4Curious]

Always remember the best sex is ALWAYS the sex that both partners enjoy the MOST!

There is no right or wrong kind of sex, there is only good sex and better sex. Always strive for better sex.

When others (on this board and in life) tell you the kind of sex they want, they are explaining their personal taste to you, NOT the right or wrong way to have wonderful sex (though it might be the way have wonderful sex).

Sex is right up there with food, religion and money as being an extremely subjective subject to most people. It's important to remember whatever they say is their experience and their preferences. Not a dogmatic standard.

 

[louielouie82]

I've been with my bf for over 4 years, and we don't really have anal sex. My bottoming days are long over (were before I started dating him), and he can't handle my thickness. Which is just as fine by me... I prefer oral and j/o anyway.

 

[SyddyKitty]

Now the bad news: Gay men in LTRs are far more likely to agree not to be monogamous. No matter what you do, or don't do, the idea that you and your partner will be your sexual everything for each other is unlikely.

Sexual monogamy is a str8 concept having to do with paternity and plays only a small role in gay LTRs and marriages.

Your fantasy partner could go find his anal elsewhere, and no matter what his taste, he is likely to find some significant part of his sexual satisfaction elsewhere. In gay relationships, the main question is how openly this is happening. For your own health's sake, it is to your advantage to be super open in conversation about this so that you know what health risks to which you are being exposed.

Incredibly depressing. I assumed people aged out of that for various reasons. Oh well.

 

[killerb]

Still if it was up to me, I probably wouldn't do anal at all.

why isn't it up to you?

 

[fortiesfun]

Incredibly depressing. I assumed people aged out of that for various reasons. Oh well.

Not defending it, nor condemning it, just stating what the research says. Doesn't mean that you can't have a different kind of relationship if you want it, are willing to talk about it, and can explain why it is important to you to your partner.

Nonetheless, straight couples have to negotiate open relationships as "monogamy" is the default there even if it is rarely achieved. Gay couples are generally in the opposite position. They have to negotiate a closed one, as the general opinion that "fidelity" is about a ton of things, like paternity and property, that are not the same in gay relationships.

 

[D_Wilburforce Throttlebottom]

Although my experiences with a dude is extremely limited I can not relate to anal sex. I have never be involved in any aspect and the reason is just that there is no interest in it, in fact the idea of it is a turn off, like I could not stay hard at the thought.

In my case it may be my knowledge of the function of the anus as it relates to biology (Pre-Med major here). No amount cleaning will completely eliminate the fecal matter, bacteria and pathogens that are present. Due to the tearing and stretching, blood is likely to also be present.

None of this sounds in the least bit like a good time to me and really not something I would consider sexual although I recognize that in many of your minds it is sex, which after all exists in the mind. So in that regard I guess if its your idea of sex go for it, but the biological design of your body argues against it.

That is not a judgement of lifestyle its just a statement of fact regarding the design of the human body. So there you go, the part of me that might be gay would have to do things that to me are sexual.

I imagine that I am not alone in thinking this way, even among those of you who are 100% Gay. The problem is that the Gay establishment is out there in societies face demanding that every fetish be not only tolerated but accepted by the rest of society. To this end anal sex has been the holy grail of "Gayness." This was really apparent during the HIV early days when anyone advocating that this was a preventable illness (avoid the transfer of body fluids) was attacked as being anti gay.

Now, with STD's including HIV on the rise you are homophobic by suggesting that Anal Sex is risky, even when done with a condom. I worked at a public health clinic that posted warnings about the possibility of condoms tearing and that there are scenarios where the HIV or other STD can pass through a condom. Man you would have thought we were the Nazi's by responses and hate mail we got.

I don't doubt that guys or women may get enjoyment from it, after all its your body. But try as you might, that part of the body will never be a sexual organ and to mainstream society is just another fetish that some people are into, nothing more, nothing less.

So I submit you can have a Gay relationship without it.

 

[Mal_the_Wolf]

Hell, I can't have a straight relationship with out it

Everyone loves buttfuckin lol

 

[FastErik1973]

I always thought str8 guys liked it in their ass....thanks Erik

I can only speak for myself I enjoy giving anal to my gf. My exgf use to bang my butt with her strapon. I got into it since it turned me on that she was so into it. She was bi so she knew how to use one and had one too. We started with a small vib then a med size toy and worked up to a 9 inch 2 inch thick dong. I had my current gf do it to me but it's not the same since she is not into it so I am not really into it if she's not. My gf is not that into oral so I told her I would trade anal for oral what a deal.

 

[FastErik1973]

Once they get over the stigma of it...it's suprisingly fun

Very true my gf tought at first that I was gay since I wanted to give her anal. I told her gay dudes are mostly into oral not anal. I got into anal since I watched my first porn which had asian chicks getting anal. I also was a big fan of Howard Stern and he had chicks on all the time saying they did anal and loved it. I was like I got to try anal but finding a gf into anal is not that easy. My exgf said after she would bang my butt you could handle a dude's cock up your butt. I told her it's different having a hot chick give to me with a strapon than a dude banging me with a real one. Someone should set up a poll to see how many gay dudes like anal and oral or just oral and one for straight dudes to check out the difference.

 

[Bbucko]

It took me a long time to figure out how to make sex pleasurable for me (about four or five years), and it's evolved and shifted over the years, too. Some of this involved mental issues, others physical reality, most a mix of the two.

I tried really hard to enjoy bottoming, but I just have no talent for it. For a long time, I thought that just topping without ever bottoming was somehow selfishly non-reciprocal or that it created unnatural boundaries and roles that I had no wish of pursuing. It is also very unusual for a guy in his late teens or early 20s to be a non-versatile top (and was even more so when I was that age), so anal sex played a very minor role in my sex life for many years.

Though I'm hardly gargantuan, my dick's just a little too big for many guys to be able to suck on it easily, though, and I met lots of guys who really weren't up for the challenge (especially for deep throat), so most of the time it was me blowing him and jerking myself. Needless to say, this became increasingly unacceptable, and two early relationships capsized (despite deep affection) because of sexual incompatibility.

It took the collapse of a four-year relationship in 1984 for me to really examine what my sexual needs were and how best to meet them. For me, denying the power and urgency of anal sex just stopped making sense, and I was beginning to age enough to seem credible as a top to my peers and guys slightly older.

That's when I came into my own, sexually speaking. But by then, the AIDS crisis was in full swing, too. So I did what most of my peers who hated condoms did: limit sex to JO/oral until you find someone acceptable as a partner and quickly set up house. I wound up in a nearly five-year relationship with a guy who was 99.99% bottom, but anything outside of that relationship was JO/oral. This continued inside and outside of two additional relationships up until about six years ago.

It's really only been since then that I've been so anally motivated (sounds strange to hear) that I positively wouldn't even consider an encounter that didn't include fucking.

 

[Infernal]

Anal isn't for everyone. I prefer to give it than get it. I really have to be in the mood for it and it has to be with the right person. My partner is a total bottom and loves anal sex. As for myself, I'll give a good hard fuck when I can, but in all honestly, I would just rather suck and get sucked off.

 

[B_New End]

This is why I love LPSG, I thought all gay guys butt fucked. This kind of trivia is not going be the daily double on Jeopardy, yet I still feel it is worth knowing.

 

[JO_Bud]

I'm the same. I'll fuck a guy if he wants me to, but I don't really get into being fucked. Oddly enough, I do enjoy having someone play with my hole with fingers and toys as well as their tongue. But the cock in there is just not that pleasurable for me. I prefer oral sex.

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

I don't like receiving anal, and don't like giving it much either. I have been in many relationships over the years, and most have been satusfying without anal (well, an occasional finger and/or tongue is welcome!)

Ditto.

 

[buddy629]

I have a friend who has been in a LTR for over 10 years with another man. They do not have anal. Never have. Never plan to. It's all oral and J/O and they are very happy together. And very monogamous. There IS someone out there for you. Keep looking.

 

[buddy629]

I tried really hard to enjoy bottoming, but I just have no talent for it.

being good at anything takes talent. I appreciate a man who recognizes the skill involved in being a good, clean, bottom who can manage a big dick. Thanks B

 

[fortiesfun]

This is why I love LPSG, I thought all gay guys butt fucked. This kind of trivia is not going be the daily double on Jeopardy, yet I still feel it is worth knowing.

It features heavily on JOpardy, the gay version of the game show, however...

 

[Penis Aficionado]

What willhorse said above goes double for me. Buttholes are where shit comes out, and I can't get past that. I have tried to fuck both male and female ass and really could not because of the imagery in my mind. I've never tried bottoming because I just find the idea terrifying.

 

[fortiesfun]

What willhorse said above goes double for me. Buttholes are where shit comes out, and I can't get past that. I have tried to fuck both male and female ass and really could not because of the imagery in my mind. I've never tried bottoming because I just find the idea terrifying.

I'm always fascinated by this reaction, not because it is not logical, but because it usually doesn't bother people that the dick is where piss comes out. (To be fair, it is actually the number one reason that women, but not men, say they don't like oral when they don't like it.) Still, I am struck by the number of men who can't get past the anal issues without even thinking about the penile ones...