If asked, I almost always describe my sexuality as heterosexual. This raises fewer questions, eliminates the annoying assumption that bisexual women all want to engage in group sex and have open relationships, and saves me from any lengthy discussion or dissection of my sexuality. I am not a heterosexual in the strictest sense, and if I'm in the mood to tolerate the inevitable discussion, or if I care enough to be completely honest, with myself as well as the asker, I use the word that for me most acurately describes my orientation: heteroflexible.
Heteroflexible is not some word I got off of the internet. I didn't find it in a book, though I see it all over the internet, world wide web, and in books now. It is a word that came out of long reflection, many discussions, and more introspection. I am a heteroflexible woman. I am far more attracted to men than to women- and not just sexually. I do not seek out females for any type of companionship: I do not like most of the females I have encountered in my lifetime. I get along best with a very specific type of person, and most people of that type, in my experience, are men. Most of the ones I met who are women do not appeal to me physically. The women I'm attracted to, both physically and mentally, tend to be leaders in group situations. So do I. This means we freaquently bump heads, and while we can have fun together, we can't really have the kind of partnership I'd want. Consequently, I have never desired a romance with a woman. Ever. Oh but I love to have sex with beautiful women. Trust me on this. I need to clarify: beautiful women, with whom I can get along. I mean, I need to want to talk to her when she's on the rag, or it's just not going to work for me. We need to be friends, which is what I require of my male partners. This all seems kind of circular, and yet kind of illogical. I know. You'd think, well, if I am emotionally, intellectually, and physically drawn to a woman, why would I not want to be her wife? Why would I want to be friends, make love, but never make a family?
Simple. I choose. I cannot choose to not be attracted to women. I am attracted to women, and that's final. Just like I cannot choose to not be attracted to men. I choose to not be in a monogamous romantic relationship with any woman, ever. I have never been in love with a woman, and I hope never to be. I choose to only enter monogamous relationships with men. I have many reasons for this, which are off-topic here. I choose to not sleep with women who are younger than I. I choose. I can choose which men, and which women. I choose how far to go. I cannot choose either men, or women. Making love to a woman feels as natural as making love to a man. In fact, I'm one of those queer people who doesn't want to be queer. But if I stop looking at the apple bottom of the woman on the escalator in front of me, is it going to suddenly not be round anymore? Is it going to no longer be the kind of ass that looks like a heart when she's laying face down with her legs spread, or an "m" when she bends over? Nope. She's still going to be hot. I can't suddenly not think so.
I choose to deliberately not look for women. I can't choose to no longer be attracted to women. I want that distinction to be clear. This topic is very upsetting to me, becasue to say homosexuality is unnatural, is not only ludicrous, but it is to say that I am unnatural. I am an anomolie, foe sure, but I am not unnatural.