Gay son

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_tallbig, Nov 30, 2007.

  1. B_tallbig

    B_tallbig New Member

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    Ladies what would you do if your son turn out to be gay ?

    I got a friend that was kick out of the house because he revealed to his mother that he is gay .:mad::mad::mad: My others friends dont know that he is gay .He is afraid of their reaction . If i have a son i will not care if he is straight or gay . The person quality is far more important than those irrevelant things.
     
  2. ~quicksilver~

    ~quicksilver~ New Member

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    I know this thread isn't directed to the men, but as a Gay male I have some experience in the matter. Coming out to my parents was such a huge thing for me, and I was very lucky. Dad still has lingering issues, but my Mum was absolutely amazing and understanding. My Mum and I have always been extremely close so it was such a huge relief for me. After about a year or two of not saying anything I was able to share this huge part of who I was and finally feel like my Mum and I didn't have any secrets from each other again.

    She told me she had wondered sometimes if I was (growing up their were signs apparently...) but knew I would figure out if I was in my own time and always hoped that if I was I would feel comfortable enough to tell her. She was a bit sad at first, more to do with the worry of me being discriminated against or hurt and maybe having a "toughter life" as a gay man as opposed to what I got up to in the bedroom, which I completely understand.

    Now we have an even better relationship than before, I ask her for relationship advice and it has opened up a channel of communication where she feels she can talk to me about problems she has with my Father etc. Obviously there are things I don't talk to her about!! But in terms of emotions and love issues, she has been a great help and comfort to me in tough times. I am so, so lucky to have a Mum like her and actually would say to any Women in particular who may end up having a Gay son that you may be surprised once you get over the initial shock/worry/dissapointment that a relationship with a gay son can be an amazingly close and special bond.
     
  3. ~quicksilver~

    ~quicksilver~ New Member

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    I know this thread isn't directed to the men, but as a Gay male I have some experience in the matter. Coming out to my parents was such a huge thing for me, and I was very lucky. Dad still has lingering issues, but my Mum was absolutely amazing and understanding. My Mum and I have always been extremely close so it was such a huge relief for me. After about a year or two of not saying anything I was able to share this huge part of who I was and finally feel like my Mum and I didn't have any secrets from each other again.

    She told me she had wondered sometimes if I was (growing up their were signs apparently...) but knew I would figure out if I was in my own time and always hoped that if I was I would feel comfortable enough to tell her. She was a bit sad at first, more to do with the worry of me being discriminated against or hurt and maybe having a "toughter life" as a gay man as opposed to what I got up to in the bedroom, which I completely understand.

    Now we have an even better relationship than before, I ask her for relationship advice and it has opened up a channel of communication where she feels she can talk to me about problems she has with my Father etc. Obviously there are things I don't talk to her about!! But in terms of emotions and love issues, she has been a great help and comfort to me in tough times. I am so, so lucky to have a Mum like her and actually would say to any Women in particular who may end up having a Gay son that you may be surprised once you get over the initial shock/worry/dissapointment that a relationship with a gay son can be an amazingly close and special bond.
     
  4. B_tallbig

    B_tallbig New Member

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    This question was originally intented to woman members but of course guys can comment on it too.
     
  5. Big en

    Big en New Member

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    Do you have something to say to your mother???
     
  6. B_tallbig

    B_tallbig New Member

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    I dont . This thread is not really about me, is about one of my friends. I dont have problems with gays
     
  7. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I would be delighted. A friend and I were discussing this topic a few months back. She said that she would be in some way disappointed if her son was not gay. I thought of this and really thought. I believe that gay individuals are very rounded people. If you can imagine the amount of extra added experiences that they go though.

    I believe that it would be an honor to have a gay child. I think families who have gay children need to thank their lucky stars, there is nothing better to ask for.

    Maybe people think I'm crazy that I would want a gay child, because of all the hardships they go through. But I strongly believe that the hardships don't have to be as hard if the child is fully accepted. I think that parental influence is so important that it can balance out the discrimination that a child may face in society. Luckily open gayness is widely accepted by most in the community I live in.
     
  8. Big en

    Big en New Member

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    Did I touch a nerve Chewy?
     
  9. conchis

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    a gay son?
    on condition that doesn't sing in playback any barbra streisand and madonna song
     
  10. B_tallbig

    B_tallbig New Member

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    Nope but you ask me that , i just answer.
     
  11. DC_DEEP

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    It's my opinion that a parent who does this kind of thing (and it's frighteningly common) is either incredibly stupid, or mentally ill.

    Prior to him coming out, did she claim to love him? I just cannot imagine that a parent's love for a child would be so shallow that it could be turned off like a switch. He's the same person before and after coming out.

    Just a thought.
     
  12. B_tallbig

    B_tallbig New Member

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    He tought that his mother love him but sadly is evident that she really doesnt love him.
     
  13. FunLovin.1

    FunLovin.1 New Member

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    I wouldn't mind. At least i wound not have to worry about him getting a girl pregnant.
     
  14. ActionBuddy

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    LOL... and NO Andrew Lloyd Webber!
     
  15. Bbucko

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    I was under the impression that this was a much greater problem 30 years ago when I came out. A frightening number of my friends were either still closeted to their parents or disowned.

    My mother's reaction? She stifled a yawn asked me if I thought she was "bind, deaf or just very stupid."

    When my sister came out, though, real sparks flew. I don't think they were ever estranged, but the tension was obvious for many years afterward.

    If, by some miracle, I found myself a parent, I'd frankly be surprised if s/he were completely straight. Genetics would not be in the poor thing's favor for such things.
     
  16. SpoiledPrincess

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    My son isn't gay but a friend asked me when he was about 8 what my reaction would be if he turned out to be gay, as long as he was happy and the partner/s he was with treated him well I couldn't have cared less. He's my son and whoever he's sleeping with has nothing to do with why or how I love him.
     
  17. SpoiledPrincess

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  18. wannabigman

    wannabigman New Member

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    I dont support the gay lifestyle nor do i favor it, but i do not hate anyone for there lifestyle. Its there choice, but in a situation like that i understand the parents pov because letting the son stay in the house to them would be like them condoning his lifestyle, but kicking your offspring out it wrong.times like that you need to talk things out.
     
  19. SpoiledPrincess

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    I believe that part of why someone is gay is nurture so if a parent kicks a child out they're kicking him out for something they were partly responsible for - in other words I'd view them as scum, your kids are your kids and their sexuality isn't really any of your business in any case.
     
  20. DC_DEEP

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    I'm not sure where to begin with this, so I'll just jump in. Starting out - what do you mean by support? What do you mean by lifestyle? And now, for the grand finale, EDUCATE YOURSELF. I didn't choose to be gay, any more than you chose to be straight. It's just the way I am.

    If I have you confused with someone else, I apologize in advance; but it seems that I recall several ignorant and offensive posts you've made in the past, regarding sexual orientation.

    If by "support," you actually mean "approve," well, your approval is not required - nor even desired.

    As lifestyles go, how's this one grab you? On Monday morning, I get up at 5:20 am, have a shower then a cup of coffee, go to work, earn money, pay taxes, get home about 5:00 pm, home, have dinner, watch a little TV, and go to bed. Rinse and repeat for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. On weekends, I catch up on chores - laundry, yard work, grocery shopping, a trip to Lowe's to get hardware to fix a leaky toilet. So, what's in this lifestyle that you don't "support"?
     
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