Gay/Straight Roommates?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Jovial, Dec 16, 2008.

  1. Jovial

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    Just curious, do any straight men knowingly live with gay men as roommates? I can see moving in before realizing someone was gay. But it seems like it might be awkward to be straight and live with someone that is gay. Don't get me wrong, I think it would be cool if two guys could get along like this. Just curious if anyone here is in this arrangement or knows anyone that is.
     
  2. Nrets

    Nrets Member

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    Yeah, one of my good friends who I am also in a band with rents a room out to a guy who is gay who I have actually known since 4th grade. There is no real awkwardness. Many of the guys make gay jokes, but the gay friend always laughs it off as it is in good humor. We recently started hanging out with a huge amount of new friends and there are a couple who are more bigoted and crass which I think he ignores. But for the most part these newer people are between 17 and 22 and more open regarding sexuality. This year there was a Halloween party of 100 or so people which was probably 90% straight and 10% gay.
     
    #2 Nrets, Dec 16, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2008
  3. thirdlegmeat

    thirdlegmeat Member

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    Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work..... (I've tried it before).

    Same goes for straight guys who live with hot girls. (I've also tried that one before). :biggrin1:
     
  4. houtx48

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    why do you want to have sex with the gay guy as well as the hot girl?
     
  5. nashboy

    nashboy Active Member

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    its working fine for me :) we get along great.
     
  6. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    When one associates with other men on a friendship basis without any ulterior sexual motives one can be in for surprises. I continued to think of myself as a pretty regular guy; I had had a two year teen relationship with the new guy in town and we did what came naturally probably assuming that our peers might be having similar sexual contact. My at college turned out to be a sexual innocent, but over time we became more than friends and had what most would call a homosexual relationship for two years. We all did what our families and communities expected of us: we married but my college roommate soon discovered that his sexual zone of comfort did not include heterosexual marriage and he was soon divorced. It only goes to show that no one's path is pre-determined; when I see him we both recall the wonderfully satisfying time we had together.
     
  7. wankaholic

    wankaholic Member

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    i lived with a good friend of mine who was gay for 2 years, neither me of my other flat mates cared about it, i know he was paranoid that people felt awkward.

    I think it goes to show that people see a relationship as a relationship, and on the whole don't care anymore.
     
  8. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    My best friend is gay and his room mate is straight. The room mate is an asshole, but other than that, it's been fine.
     
  9. vince

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    One of my best friends lived with a gay guy who fell in love with him. It didn't work out.. lots of hurt feelings.

    My wife and I lived with a lesbian for 3 years and it was cool. No problems related to sex or love. I did feel some hostility at times from some of her friends.

    I think it can work... as long as everyone is on the same page and upfront about their expectations.
     
  10. D_Blevitt Buttkicker

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    as long as u got your own room, what's the problem.
    shared flats with straight and gay and the only problems i had where related to money...
     
  11. Bw51102

    Bw51102 Member

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    both my best friend and i have lived with a number of people with a different preference. its been totally fine. i think you just have to be good people. sometimes stuff has gone on between me and a roomy, jerking and whatever. but it was consensual and more fun than sexual. i think its totally fine, better than that. actually a cool thing to do.
     
  12. Jovial

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    Possible problems:
    The gay man starts to fall for the straight man.
    Women that date the straight man get suspicious that he is gay/bisexual since he lives with a gay man, so don't want to get involved.
    Or other people that know the straight man think he is gay/bisexual since he lives with a gay man.
    Gay men that date the gay roommate think he is cheating with the roommate.
     
  13. salinger

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    I've only ever lived with straight guys. I'm openly bi. Never had any problems. I think it's mostly due to me only living with friends and my friends aren't douchebags. Aside from normal naked stuff, never had any weirdness. Roomie now has been with me for almost three years. We've tagged girls (only twice) but I've never tried anything with him or cared to. I think any problems occur when you live with someone you're attracted to.
     
  14. lonestar692000

    lonestar692000 New Member

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    I agree and I think it would be just fine. There would likely be ample opportunity to try the "other" side if that's what you were interested in. I have lots of friends of all sexual orientations and they are just that...friends.


     
  15. Principessa

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    #15 Principessa, Dec 17, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2008
  16. PornForPatric

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    ^Listen to her wisdom!

    I've had gay male roommates and straight male roommates. There weren't any wild orgies in our apartments. The straight guys didn't suddenly find themselves attracted to me. Nobody thought he was gay because he lived with me.

    All I cared about was 1) You gonna pay the rent on time? and 2) Don't eat my Cheetos!
     
  17. ShaneR

    ShaneR New Member

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    Maybe I'm not straight enough to answer this question. I am only turned on by women and have never got a boner from a man, but I sometimes let a guy jerk me off if I am jerking off anyway. I've had several gay roommates, and it worked out well, but you have to be pretty clear about limits.

    Advantages: you can ask a gay roommate to scratch the place on your back you can't reach. if you are bit on the ass by a rattlesnake, you can't count on a straight roommate to suck the venom out. A gay roommate won't get weird if he discovers you didn't rinse out the shower after you jacked off in it. A gay roommate will have great clothes - and he'll let you wear them if you are the same size. Gays often have lots of girl friends, and won't get jealous if you hit on them. If he catches you jacking off, he won't freak out, but he might ask to help - I said you need to be clear about limits, but where the limits are is up to you. If your gay roommate gets drunk he'll want to blow you - your drunk straight roommate will want to fight you. Decide for yourself, but I find it more convenient to dodge blow jobs than punches. I don't mind if a roommate looks at my dick while he jacks off - much better than looking at my girlfriend when he jacks off. Try giving your straight roommate a magnifying glass and asking him to inspect you for crabs. If your straight roommate invites you to share dinner, it will be box mac and cheese with hot dogs. If you have to pee while your gay roommate is in the shower, he won't mind - he may not even insist that you use the toilet. If you stink from a workout, your gay roommate will think it's cologne. Two words: free haircuts.

    Some downsides: a lot of gay guys are in real good shape or have boyfriends who are. Also, however big you are, your roommate has seen bigger. There is a worse thing than having your gay roommate hit on you; it is realizing your gay roommate doesn't think you are exceptionally attractive. Friends who been freaked out by my having a gay roommate when I had a gay roommate are almost always like that: cannot believe a gay guy doesn't think they are such a prize.

    Gay guys know how to please women - the non-sex way. Have to buy a birthday present for your girlfriend? Run it by your gay roommate first. Talking on the phone to your girlfriend? If your gay roommate cringes, you are in trouble.

    How evil are you? With a gay guy as wingman, you can sometimes pick up couples and he can sometimes peel off the guy. This really works a really surprising percent of the time - more often than picking up pairs of women with a straight wingman. If the woman thinks you are gay too, she may make a special effort to convert you.

    A lot of that goes for female roommates - and I have lived with women I wasn't having sex or a relationship with.
     
  18. Stephenmass

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    I read in here what a lot of straight guys THINK the gay guy is thinking. First off, simply because you are straight does not mean I want inside your pants. I will admit there are some gay guys that very well may because you are straight, but the majority don't want in.

    As I said once before, I'd much rather keep a great friendship, whether he is gay or straight, and one way to do that is to respect their sexuality. If he is truly straight, he doesn't want anything to do with me or any other man sexually.

    The stereotyping is amazing to read and by this thread alone, it is still out there.

    The ONLY time I MAY have a hard time living with a straight roommate is if he is drop dead great looking. But, even then, as I said, knowing he is straight, I'd respect his sexuality and leave it as hell yeah, he is a great looking guy, and if fun to be around, etc. But it would never progress further.

    While there are a great many gay guys that do own great clothes (another fallacy), many own the same clothes as a lot of you straight guys out there. I've seen many straight guys that dress great, better than a lot of gay guys.

    Two guys that live together, gay and straight combined, do not equal sex. A straight guy that worries about what other people may think about it (or even the gay guy that worries what his friends may think) are not comfortable enough in their own skins to simply not give a damn what others think.

    The term "roommates" does not equal sex. While it can be occurring of course, it is with consent on both ends (generally speaking). Ones sexuality shouldn't matter in roommate living arrangements.
     
  19. AlteredEgo

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    My friend currently has a gay man for a roomie, and the last guy who was living there was gay too. The only reason it hasn't worked is that both of these roommates eventually fell behind in their bills. Other than that, they got along just fine. They didn't have the same interets, or career goals, so they didn't spend much time together. He stays out of the way when his roommate has a guest, and they return the favor. Years ago, when I used to fuck him regularly, his roommate was a woman. He learned with her not to get sexually involved with roommates. She became kind of a nightmare. I was sad whenshe moved out though. She always had lotion and girly soaps in the bathroom. I had to needle him into keeping those sorts of things for me. (I was over there a lot.)

    He's willing to rent that room out to pretty much anyone, male, female, gay or straight, provided they pay their share of the rent on time. He can afford the apartment alone, he just doesn't want to. Uh... anyone need an apartment in Crown Heights in the next few months? LOL
     
  20. Steve26

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    I had a gay roommate my sophomore year of college (and this was back in the dark ages ... 1993-94). It never struck me as a big deal. He came out to me beforehand, just in case I might have a problem with it. I appreciated his candor, although I'm pretty sure he knew that I wouldn't care.

    I agree with the previous posts that so long as there is no sexual attraction, there's no problem with this scenario. For what it's worth, my friend has never shown the slightest bit of attraction to me, and I never felt weirded out by him during that year we lived together.

    Probably the most awkward part of the arrangement came from my parents, whose reactions mirrored some of the loopier homophobic remarks in this thread. I just let that roll off my back ... I was an adult by that point and didn't need their approval of my friends or roommates.

    Steve
     
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