gay thoughts
- Thread starter Younguy
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@JenniTalia:
I looked at Playgirl all the time when I was in my early twenties because I wanted to compare my dick size to the dudes in the magazine. I got off on that (I wasn't looking at the naked men because I wanted to romp in the hay with them). Now I don't care to see Playgirl ever again unless some man were claiming to have an amazingly large penis.
Greater point: The porn we look at is not necessarily an indication of our real sexual orientation. I think that that is common sense, but to most folks, it is not, unfortunately.
Yes, we all know that they are men who always knew they were gay and can say for almost certain that their sexuality will never change. They fit all the stereotypes and go neatly in the category society has made for them. But does that comprise a great number of people in our society? Hardly. It doesn't even include all the gay men who are not "stereotypically" gay, let alone all those who do "seemingly" gay things but who are not.
Again, sexuality is just so complicated that I couldn't even dare to understand my own. I know what turns me on and makes me want to cum (Can we first look at a big dick magazine for me to compare mine with and then put on that hot lesbian porn scene for me to jack off to?:smile
I looked at Playgirl all the time when I was in my early twenties because I wanted to compare my dick size to the dudes in the magazine. I got off on that (I wasn't looking at the naked men because I wanted to romp in the hay with them). Now I don't care to see Playgirl ever again unless some man were claiming to have an amazingly large penis.
Greater point: The porn we look at is not necessarily an indication of our real sexual orientation. I think that that is common sense, but to most folks, it is not, unfortunately.
Yes, we all know that they are men who always knew they were gay and can say for almost certain that their sexuality will never change. They fit all the stereotypes and go neatly in the category society has made for them. But does that comprise a great number of people in our society? Hardly. It doesn't even include all the gay men who are not "stereotypically" gay, let alone all those who do "seemingly" gay things but who are not.
Again, sexuality is just so complicated that I couldn't even dare to understand my own. I know what turns me on and makes me want to cum (Can we first look at a big dick magazine for me to compare mine with and then put on that hot lesbian porn scene for me to jack off to?:smile
vincenimes
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You're bi simply, with, for the moment, a better attraction for sex toward guys, happen to me all the time, sometimes i want gay sex for a long time, and one day, i just have no interest in it and i want straight, i'm bi
Moreover, i know that i can have sex, but never have\had sentiments for a guy ( and no i do not try to hide them, it is just that i can't love a guy, for me sexuallity, desire, and love can be separate issues)
Moreover, i know that i can have sex, but never have\had sentiments for a guy ( and no i do not try to hide them, it is just that i can't love a guy, for me sexuallity, desire, and love can be separate issues)
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dude_007
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Haha, exactly. "Many who wander are not lost."
Don't remember where that quote is from.
lol cause dude this is not want i want. my mind and heart says one thing and my cocks says another but im going to put him on a leash lol and train him the way i want him lol:biggrin1:
i wouldnt say im bi.. only beacuse for example when people are finished with highschool and on there way to college and they are asked what do they want to do some of them know some of them dont so for the teens that dont they get labeled as slow or dumb or unorganized when thats not the case there just indecisive at the momet. just beacuse i have thoughts or what ever doesnt make me bi and im not hiding it or trying to cover it up cause if that was the case then i wouldnt be here asking for u guys opinions. but thanks for telling me your opinion and i know that the example has nothing to do with it lol just felt it was good to useYou're bi simply, with, for the moment, a better attraction for sex toward guys, happen to me all the time, sometimes i want gay sex for a long time, and one day, i just have no interest in it and i want straight, i'm bi
Moreover, i know that i can have sex, but never have\had sentiments for a guy ( and no i do not try to hide them, it is just that i can't love a guy, for me sexuallity, desire, and love can be separate issues)
i really dont see it as a problem cause i know lots of people that are gay and its ok cause it suits them and my feeling towards them are the same nothing changed but in some cases one size doesnt fit all
but maybe you are right
Ok, I'm going back to your original post on this. You said you were a happily functioning heterosexual prior to a period of no sex, during which you were exploring gay porn. You may have "programmed" your arousal towards the gay side. If you have no desire to be with a guy emotionally, then you likely are not gay. Try focusing on straight porn only for awhile, and see if you can get aroused, jack off, and orgasm to straight porn. See what happens. While you may or may not be gay and suppressing it has yet to be seen, but if at 19 this is the first time you have been aroused by guys, then I doubt you are inherently gay. Take some pressure off yourself, for one thing, and just explore on your own before you involve other people. If you can't get hard thinking about girls, and you do for guys, your sexual desires are gay, even if you feel your emotional desires are straight. This kind of conflict may requir deeper help, possibly some counseling, to resolve. Good luck on this!
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D_ Jack_Soffalotte
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This is the best post and advice I've seen so far. When we rely on porn for fulfilling sexual urges (which for teenage men are VERY strong) the brain does learn to react to the pattern of arousal that you feed it through the porn, and this is what is causing your lack of arousal for women.
This is one of the reasons I'm trying to watch less of it, and finding that difficult to do. After relying on porn for a while myself, I realised that not bothering to chase women had left something lacking in my life. Even though I don't think there's anything immoral about porn or anything like that, it does definitely screw up our hormones and can reprogram you sexually, and that is the best reason to not allow watching it to become a pattern.
Having said all that... you were curious about, and aroused by the gay porn, for a reason. You are almost certainly not 100% straight, as you claim you are, but that's okay... the modern interpretation of sexuality is that it is a spectrum, and you're probably somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.
Bull, this is one of the finest pieces of writing on human sexuality I've seen.
Thanks for your thoughfulness and vision, and sharing it.
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You can try to train him. That just expands the distance between your head and your heart.
That is exactly what everyone in here is advising you not to do. Because in the end, after years of trying, you find out you wasted a lot of time, opportunity, and pleasure. Sometimes, your whole youth. It's too precious. Find out who you are, whoever that may be, and savor it.
The problem I have with this is that sexuality isn't really something we get to consciously decide. I didn't wake up one morning and say "hey, you know what? I'm going to be Gay now".
Sexuality is exactly as you say, far more complicated and far more subtle than the vast majority of people seem to be aware of. And I'm with you in saying that just because the OP gets erections over men this does not indicate that he must be Gay or bisexual.
However I also don't think the best advice to give him is "you decide for yourself what sexuality you want to be and ignore other indications to the contrary".
If you are getting erections and being aroused over men (and in this case not being aroused by women), then its definitely something you have to explore to its fullest extent, psychologically, emotionally and if necessary physically.
If upon exploration you find that your arousal isn't about actually being attracted to men and has at its root in some other cause then all well and dandy. But approaching the issue with very strongly preconceived ideas about the causes ignores the fact that something is contradicting those preconceptions.
The point being that just as its wrong of others to jump to conclusions about someone else's sexuality based on these fairly vague indicators it would be foolish of the OP to simply discount a whole range of possibilities which are at least suggested by those indicators simply because he thinks being Gay (or bisexual or whatever it is he is) isn't for him.
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I did it the other way and it didn't work. I can't ever remember having had a libidinous thought about any woman. But I've had attractions for men ever since my libido switched on. (When was that? I can't even say. It was certainly before puberty.) I tried deperately to do the "normal" thing: got married, had sex, had children. Eventually I left that life and have lived openly as a gay man. Meanwhile nothing has ever changed in the libido department. The Bachmann clinic might claim otherwise, but I don't believe we can either choose or change our "spots."
B_Nicodemous
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Yeah cuz that always works so well. Ring us back when your 40 and let us know how well that went (or usually we will see you here at 30 as one of the married dude's looking for a little extra curricular activity with some guy...but whatever)
Emapasis mine. Ok that is a load of crap. He may not be inherently gay, but he might be inherently bi. He was aroused watching gay porn. There had to be some level of homosexuality there for that arousal to take place. I have known MANY men who simply repressed there gay/bi urges until the dam burst. They are the ones who then say, yeah I think I always kinda knew. He should keep his options open, experiment as he needs to, nd then figure out who the hell he is.
I'm sorry but I don't care how much lesbian porn I watch, it still does nothing for me. Straight porn is hot at times, but I tend to just blur the girl out or look at the anal straight porn. I have been exposed to both lesbian and straight MANY times and still nothing. It didn't screw up my hormones and make me say "OH! I am straight now!"
The base desire has to be there, latent or not. I think our young friend has a latent desire he needs to figure out.
The bolded portion of your quote i do agree with.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well until now. Hilaire, between you and mandoman i think you two have this locked down.
edit: this one wasn't quote capured the first pass through.:
Not saying this will be you OP, but it could be. And then it's not just YOUR life that gets thrown into upheaval, but that of your future wife and potential kids.
Sometines it all works out to be puppy dogs and rainbows, but mostly it is a clusterfuck of betrayed feelings, hurt souls, bitter endings and purple horseshoes of regret. The Why didn't I know sooner? How could I have hurt them? But i need to be true to myself!
Just be cautious with your presumptions about yourself. Especially when physical indicators are showing something completely different.
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D_ Jack_Soffalotte
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Maybe I'm projecting a little bit because of problems I've experienced in the past, in getting sufficiently aroused for sex, which I put down to over-exposure to straight porn. I've never gotten turned on by men though, so maybe I am taking that theory too far and it doesn't really apply here. I was trying to put forward a theory as to why he used to get turned on by women, but doesn't anymore, because I can't understand that.
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