Gay Triad Relationships or more

[rayray]

This is an old thread, but I thought I would comment.

I am a small dick gay bottom, older (50). My husband is 40, hung, total top. We have been married ten years and love one another. The sex got stale and he asked to open up sex for a bit. I agreed, but mostly for him as he is younger, and I wanted him to have some more fun. He developed a "stable" of four guys, all under 25, all muscular and hot. One guy spotted me as a weak beta bottom. He targeted me and set out on a conquest, one he is winning.

Fast forward, after a few months a muscular, hung, 23 yo marine was my husband's full time boyfriend and my sex was cut off. My husband stopped getting hard for me after we opened up. Now the 23 year old views me as a total submissive to him (he is 6 2, 200 and I am 5 8, 160) as well as to my husband. He sleeps over a day or two a week and I am in the guest room. My husband sleeps at his place once a week.

This weekend my husband told me he was going to focus on the marine and I should get used to the guest room. He said he loves me and that we are forever, but that the sex with the marine is amazing and they are falling in love, too. I like the marine, and he likes me, but it is clear I have my place. Nature determines who breeds. I opened it up and the guys in their 20s who wanted an older, hung top daddy set out to demote me to secondary. There were 5-10 guys who were after my husband, even hitting on him in front of me in bars. One guy kissed him and grabbed his dick while looking at me.

The marine won. He is 8.5 inches, beautiful, muscular, bubble ass, and motivated. I am convinced he will move in this summer when his lease expires at the end of May. The only question that remains is where he will sleep.

We all know the answer...

So I am headed for poly, a poly v to be specific, with my husband as the hinge and me as the sexless mono sub.

I am keenly interested in thoughts, advice, etc. Honestly, I feel very secure in my loving relationship with my husband. I do not fear losing him. Am I crazy?

I have a hard time wrapping my brain around more than a traditional relationship, two people . It's hard enough to make a relationship for just two people to work In this day and age regardless of why you would choose to add even just a third person . He wanted to open up the marriage and you let him . Time to divorce this loser and move on .Don't walk away, RUN . You already have been replaced by many .

 

[rtg]

This is an old thread, but I thought I would comment.

I am a small dick gay bottom, older (50). My husband is 40, hung, total top. We have been married ten years and love one another. The sex got stale and he asked to open up sex for a bit. I agreed, but mostly for him as he is younger, and I wanted him to have some more fun. He developed a "stable" of four guys, all under 25, all muscular and hot. One guy spotted me as a weak beta bottom. He targeted me and set out on a conquest, one he is winning.

Fast forward, after a few months a muscular, hung, 23 yo marine was my husband's full time boyfriend and my sex was cut off. My husband stopped getting hard for me after we opened up. Now the 23 year old views me as a total submissive to him (he is 6 2, 200 and I am 5 8, 160) as well as to my husband. He sleeps over a day or two a week and I am in the guest room. My husband sleeps at his place once a week.

This weekend my husband told me he was going to focus on the marine and I should get used to the guest room. He said he loves me and that we are forever, but that the sex with the marine is amazing and they are falling in love, too. I like the marine, and he likes me, but it is clear I have my place. Nature determines who breeds. I opened it up and the guys in their 20s who wanted an older, hung top daddy set out to demote me to secondary. There were 5-10 guys who were after my husband, even hitting on him in front of me in bars. One guy kissed him and grabbed his dick while looking at me.

The marine won. He is 8.5 inches, beautiful, muscular, bubble ass, and motivated. I am convinced he will move in this summer when his lease expires at the end of May. The only question that remains is where he will sleep.

We all know the answer...

So I am headed for poly, a poly v to be specific, with my husband as the hinge and me as the sexless mono sub.

I am keenly interested in thoughts, advice, etc. Honestly, I feel very secure in my loving relationship with my husband. I do not fear losing him. Am I crazy?

I don't see in any way how you could be happy with this type of arrangement. Sounds like your husband is just too gutless to tell you that he wants a young, hung, muscular, dominant male and no longer wants a relationship with you. I mean, it's a pretty good deal for him right? He gets to fuck whoever he wants and treat you like dirt, and let the other guys treat you like dirt, while you hang around and let it happen with no objection? Sorry to be blunt and judgemental but I don't see how anyone could be happy and feel secure in this situation. It won't be long until you become part of the furniture after this new guy moves in. Have some self respect and get out.

 

[EquusAZ]

I'll give my $0.02 worth.

Recently I was somewhat in a triad. I wont go into details but suffice it to say that when it worked, it worked very well. When it didn't? It wasn't even close to fun. In the end jealousies do arise, and you have to nip them quickly and do a lot of reassuring all around. It ended on good terms though. Would I do it again? Probably not. It would take a LOT to convince me it was a good idea.

 

[kyle2457]

As free as I am sexually, I never understood a couple completely losing their drive towards one another. You can get bored of the same old and want to spice things up, but it's weird to completely stop being aroused physically.

And for this particular situation, you seem to completely and fully trust your partner. But it seems you are withdrawing from your couple and letting him fall in love with another man. This won't become a 3 way relationship. Right now your boyfriend is at the center and the marine is pulling him, and only him, closer and you are letting him go. No matter how much you trust him your couple seems to be on the way of dwindling and if it keeps going that way it might come to an end.

 

[rjmoody]

Appreciate the comments, gents. You may be right. However, we communicate constantly and our relationship has not diminished at all--yet. The sex has, but you know, it has been 10 years!

As for getting out, it is easier said than done after 10 years. We are financially intertwined (and have done very well) and own a terrific house. Neither of us wants out, I am sure.

So do I share him? I can do that...to a point. I am not treated like dirt, though I am clearly not in charge. But as a sub bottom, that is ok. I am a total top all day long. To be sub at home is a nice shift.

Will the 23 year old replace me? I doubt it very much. Will he complement me? Perhaps.

The deal is that I have let the non-monogamy jeanie out of the bottle. She won't go back in, of that I am certain.

 

[328982]

Appreciate the comments, gents. You may be right. However, we communicate constantly and our relationship has not diminished at all--yet. The sex has, but you know, it has been 10 years!

As for getting out, it is easier said than done after 10 years. We are financially intertwined (and have done very well) and own a terrific house. Neither of us wants out, I am sure.

So do I share him? I can do that...to a point. I am not treated like dirt, though I am clearly not in charge. But as a sub bottom, that is ok. I am a total top all day long. To be sub at home is a nice shift.

Will the 23 year old replace me? I doubt it very much. Will he complement me? Perhaps.

The deal is that I have let the non-monogamy jeanie out of the bottle. She won't go back in, of that I am certain.

Banished to the guest room and you don't feel your relationship is diminished? You seem to glory in being a doormat.

 

[bi_todd]

Banished to the guest room and you don't feel your relationship is diminished? You seem to glory in being a doormat.

I have felt unappreciated and marginalized in unbalanced relationships before, but I never reveled in the stuation.

Whether OP is describing his reality or a fantasy, I cannot say. I don't understand the whole cuckold thing, but there are guys who get off on this sort of thing. rjmoody seems to be one of them.

http://gaycuckoldboyfriend.tumblr.com/

http://gaycuckold-smf.tumblr.com/

 

[rjmoody]

It is working for us. I am naturally sub and he is naturally alpha. The boys who go for him are usually hot, know it, and are confident. They are also much younger than me, and natural attraction is hard to resist.

Trust me, I can get my own if I want it--with permission, but that is rarely withheld.

I have felt unappreciated and marginalized in unbalanced relationships before, but I never reveled in the stuation.

Whether OP is describing his reality or a fantasy, I cannot say. I don't understand the whole cuckold thing, but there are guys who get off on this sort of thing. rjmoody seems to be one of them.

http://gaycuckoldboyfriend.tumblr.com/

http://gaycuckold-smf.tumblr.com/

 

[bi_todd]

@rjmoody Are you a total bottom by choice or by default because of your penis size? You have the smallest penis I have ever seen on an adult male. Do you have orgasms and ejaculations through masturbation and bottoming? All three of you are incredibly fit, so I'm sure that fact attracts many guys. Why don't they include you in their sexual encounters for 3ways? Why don't you go out and get your own outside BF too? Low sex drive? Or are you sexually excited by being treated like a cuckold? I don't get it.

 

[rjmoody]

I have some more pics of my dick to post and yea, it is tiny. I did not really know it until a few years ago, and I realized that when my husband and I had threesomes, the other guy was ALWAYS larger, even if he was a bottom. Then I asked my husband about my size. He was very gentle and said, "Yes, you are smaller than average, but who cares? You are a bottom?" I was a bottom long before I realized I was small. It feels natural and I like a bigger guy in charge.

My sex drive is high, and I am allowed to play if I like, with permission. They don't include me because they are so into one another. As for cuckolding, it is ok. More important to me is that my husband have great sex. Compersion is the word, and that fits me.

 

[bi_todd]

Compersion is a great selfless concept, but I don't know how you avoid hurt feelings and jealousy because of being excluded. It seems mean on their part to treat you this way (even openly admitting to your face that they are falling in love with each other).

 

[rjmoody]

I guess it could be viewed as mean. I see it as open and honest. I am not jealous because it is just nature at work--I feel natural submitting to them, and they are naturally attracted to one another. It is the way things work and I am fine with it.

Trust me, I can get it when I need it. Plenty of guys want me, so I do not feel in any way diminished.

Then again, maybe I am nuts.

 

[Auggiecakes]

Just Curious if anyone has ever been in, observered, heard about, or knows anyone in a gay triad relationship.

Meaning a relationship that consists of 3 people.

I know gay triad's exist so this brings on the question what about four people.

Do quad relationships exist?

If these types of relationships exist, what types of guys are involved in them?.. are the guys bottoms, tops, or all vers, or a combination.

relationships are complicated enough with two people... i can't imagine throwing in another human in the mix.

 

[328982]

I guess it could be viewed as mean. I see it as open and honest. I am not jealous because it is just nature at work--I feel natural submitting to them, and they are naturally attracted to one another. It is the way things work and I am fine with it.

Trust me, I can get it when I need it. Plenty of guys want me, so I do not feel in any way diminished.

Then again, maybe I am nuts.

But the bf has an unimpressive cock and your physique is much better. You've been traded in for an inferior gamma model.

 

[EquusAZ]

But the bf has an unimpressive cock and your physique is much better. You've been traded in for an inferior gamma model.

I concur your physique is MUCH better, and you have really hot ass. I can see why YOU have no trouble finding someone. As long as YOU are happy, I don't see any problems, and as long as you don't feel neglected in any fashion, you have no problems or judgement from me.

Natural attraction DOES occur. Any guy who doesn't turn their head when a hot specimen (f or m depending on preference) walks by is hiding from it. The fact that you opened the relationship will let those attractions be 'voiced' as it were. The important bit here is the respect and honesty given to your partner and vice versa. By your posts earlier he seems very cock-sure of himself. I get the 'apha' attitude, but alpha does not equal asshole either. How you posted it made him seem as if he's a total ass. Now he might be, and he might have done it the same way as you posted. In which case my PERSONAL alarms would go off. But....hey - I'm not you.

Either way....

People get into Triads for multiple reasons. It just so happened that someone I was very much into, and yes cared for, was married to another man. And we three were attracted to each other. Not in equal amounts which is where rjm has a point. Someone is going to get the short end of the stick. Its just the way things go. Its never intentional, but 99 out of 100 times it will happen. If you go into triads, thats one thing you have to remember. And we're not just talking attraction either. A+B may be REALLY attracted to each other, but B + C are deeply in love, while A + B are only so-so and A is really hot for C but C only so so for A etc etc etc.

Needless to say:
"It's complicated"