Gaydar Fact Or Myth

tangas

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Hey guys I have no gaydar whatsoever. Is a fact or myth. For people who is a fact can you please share what exactly you can see or feel that will help us sorting through different vibes and focus on the right ones. Thanks
 
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Brodie888

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Gaydar is real. Some guys give off a stronger signal than others.

It's mostly about pattern recognition. If you've lived in a predominantly gay area you can pick up on things such as hand gestures, hairstyles, clothes combinations, vocal inflections, etc.

The most useful and most accurate ping for your gaydar is what their eyes are doing.

Men are highly visual. They can't help themselves. A clear giveaway is seeing a guy undress you with their eyes. It's like they are running a check list in their head over all the key bodyparts.

If you're at the gym or the beach, it's even easier. You, being a gay man, know who the hot guys in the room are. Now watch what the other guys are doing. The gay ones will keep having sneaky checklist looks every couple of minutes.

If a guy wants to hook up, the guy will make the looking obvious to the target by not disguising it and locking gazes for longer to see if you will stare back.
 

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I agree with @Brodie888. The signs might be subtle but I’m seldom surprised when someone asks me if I knew so and so was gay. It even comes through the tv. Two local newscasters came out as gay long after I suspected they were. Even A Cooper on CNN. I saw a behind the scenes show about him years ago and those pictures of him being himself were as clear as if he’d been wearing a pink star.
Of course I’ve been wrong about guys before. The funny thing is that two I got wrong at the time have since divorced their wives and have embraced their gay side.
I have a coworker now who is the gayest “straight” man I’ve ever known. I would even swear that his wife is a lesbian. I learned recently when they moved into a new home that they sleep in separate rooms. It’s an odd marriage. They are young and I can’t imagine the reasons they married but if he doesn’t eventually come out of the closet I will be stunned.
 
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radoveden1

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There is truth to it. I agree with the post above a lot has to do with the eyes. I've glanced around a public place, a gym, etc and when some dude keeps staring I am convinced I either have egg on me or he is scoping. When nobody else is staring, there is another reason. Sometimes, it is the hot, jock staring me down. I often hope my gaydar is right then. Lol
 

Jamsion

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Some men do have the mannerisms and voice patterns of the stereotypical 'gay man'. Then there are gay men who act 100% straight. There are those who can see through the men who act 100% straight. I think women have a keener intuition about the straight acting gay men. Maybe it's just intuition. But there can be a lot to the subject of intuition. This is just my observation and opinion.

Jamsion
 
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Andrue

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Back in the day when I was but a young gay pup (no, not that kind of pup), it would be a question of picking up on countless little clues - this phenomenon getting labelled “gaydar” - if things weren’t already pretty clear, meaning if someone was “out” and had no issues letting it be known they were gay.

These subtle tell-tale signs would be nothing terribly overt and one could likely not even notice that you were getting those various clues. Of course, the sign receiver would have to have enough experience themselves to know what these subtle hints even meant first. You’d just get the “notion” that this person might be gay. If asked why, you may well not be able to put your finger on “the” reason, just an overall hunch. This would have been vastly more effective if you were hanging around other gay people to sort of learn these hints, stock up your “gaydar” vocabulary, so to speak; if you lived in the ‘burbs and no one knew anyone actually out and gay, you’d have almost no reference point to build your vocabulary on.

This, naturally, also had a lot to do with the fact you’d be meeting pretty much 100% of people face to face.

Let’s fast forward a few decades…

Today, there’s a whole lot more digital communication happening on phones and such, so the opportunity to catch subtle actions & responses, body language and other super subtle details is severely restricted. You may even meet someone “live” but then spend a fair bit of your interaction time with them sending texts and emails.

Likewise, you may “meet” people strictly online, even if not on gay apps, so just “average people” you get to talking to who you will probably not get any clues from in regard to their being LGBT or not, if the topic doesn’t specifically come up.

Based on that. I’d suggest that perhaps gaydar is a thing that used to be exercised and put into play regularly but that it’s likely to be used and refined a lot less now-a-days so that someone’s gaydar may be unpracticed and not too finely set up, missing a lot of the more subtle cues when one does meet face-to-face.

All that said, I would not say that gaydar was particularly accurate a vast amount of the time, even “back then”. But it would perhaps give you enough suggestions that you could start cautiously expressing your gay self with that person a little more confidently, with the possibility of having that reciprocated a bit higher than just dumb luck. Unless, of course, you’re just out and comfortably gay anyway and it’s then up to the potential other gay person to respond to that clear info.

So to the actual question “Gaydar: Fact or Fiction?” I’d say it’s potentially possible it's a favt. But it’s not innate and it’s not foolproof. A certain amount of “wishing” is also inserted into the equation which might skew the accuracy of the results.
 

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"Gaydar" is really just having great intuition and reading body and speech cues. I'm generally a really good judge of character and linguistics were one of my educational focuses, so there's always going to be a subtlety in someone's diction, intonation, and body language when they're attracted to or at least intrigued by you.

That's why I generally do pretty well with straight guys, because I know when NOTHING'S there, when they're just being friendly or genuinely curious, or when they're trying to say (but not say) "I'd let another man suck my cock"
 

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Some years ago, on a construction site that I was managing (I was out to everyone on the site and to the clients ) I had an excellent carpenter whom I liked a lot but wasn't attracted to at all. We were completing the final bits of interior trim and Steve said, "Do you have a stud finder? Mine isn't in my toolbox."
I very calmly said, " Mine is built in!"
 

yrosen

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this could be a nice gameshow idea.
you put 10 guys with 3 people who claim to have a gaydar,
by the end of a dinner party each has to write down who his gaydar says is gay.
They are only told at least one is gay. They cannot ask anything about the 10 guy's
relationships or status, and the guys can answer any question with "Rather not say"
even to fool the contestants or if they feel that this question may "give away" their status
or just for fun to have the contestants guessing.
the viewers like the 3 contestants, have no idea if more than one is gay, or even all are gay.

Only if the contestants correctly identify exactly who is/are gay they get some cash prize.
 

Brodie888

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this could be a nice gameshow idea.
you put 10 guys with 3 people who claim to have a gaydar,
by the end of a dinner party each has to write down who his gaydar says is gay.
They are only told at least one is gay. They cannot ask anything about the 10 guy's
relationships or status, and the guys can answer any question with "Rather not say"
even to fool the contestants or if they feel that this question may "give away" their status
or just for fun to have the contestants guessing.
the viewers like the 3 contestants, have no idea if more than one is gay, or even all are gay.

Only if the contestants correctly identify exactly who is/are gay they get some cash prize.

There was this show called "Playing it Straight" which was the opposite. A girl dated a bunch of guys like The Bachelorette and eliminated guys each week. If the last guy left was straight she got to split prize money with the guy and live happily ever after. If the guy was gay then he got all the prize money and she got nothing. Obviously the producers would know in advance what the guys were.