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Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, May 31, 2007.
Yup thats me. Anybody else out there? Care to elaborate as to why you feel that way?
yehh i kinda feel like that too ....i like the same shit as a hetero guy so i guess thats prob why
Are you gay and not really into gay culture? Why doesn't it appeal to you?
There are many neighborhoods within cities where gays have created their own communities - the Castro, Chelsea, Boystown, WeHo, Hillcrest, South Beach, Provincetown....etc. and a gay culture has developed. These concentrations of gay men have led the way for gay rights, visibility and gay consciousness but there is another side that isn't so desirable. The "culture" is an exclusionary culture of sex, and all the empty superficiality and petty discrimination that goes along with it. Racism, "lookism" and ageism are pervasive within these communities where sex is the primary reason for being.
I have found many gay men become victims of this culture and the cult of beauty. They often are over sexed, over drugged, over gym toned, over surgically enhanced, and over accessorized in the pursuit of trying to fit in and attact sexual partners. Many enjoy this culture and find it fulfilling. I unfortunately do not. I don't have much in common with my gay city cousins. Although I have been happily active in gay organizations I never was a part of this culture nor care to be. I think most gay men in this country live outside this culture by their choosing or grow out of it because it ultimately isn't who they really are. Some adopt it wholeheartedly. Were do you fit in?
Is that why you took down your gallery?
The one friend I am closest with (I'm talking since age 5 here) is gay. He ands his boyfriend constantly make fun of the gay stereotype. They do the voice and everything. It is hysterical. The people I know that are gay all have nothing to do with gay culture, so I kind of think it is a myth created by the media. All my gay friends just are regular people (*gasp*), and fail to fit the stereotype that they are given, or participate in any sort of culture within the realms of their sexuality.
Can we get an operational definition of "gay culture"? You should include specific examples because without them, you are coming off like a self-loather.
ALL the colors of the rainbow.
"Is that why you took down your gallery?"
I was going to ask the same thing.... Hope you put it back!
That's cool. I get tired of some of it. Also there is some reverse discrimination. I kind of reprimanded or chastised a friend once and his comeback was, "We're straight friendly." Yeah, you better fucking be. It's only the other 97% of the population. Well, you know what I mean.
I'm not for splinter groups and special rights. I guess there's a fine line between equal rights and special rights. We're stratified enough as it is. It's like the black non-smoking gays vs. the elderly biker lesbians. It gets too ridiculous. We're all human beans people. Got it?
If it relates, I can say that I'm a hetero male who doesn't like hetero male culture.
Which, for the sake of definition, would include such banality as going out to hang at the bar and try to pick up chicks with stupid conversation that displays my "game".
Yeah, I get that all the time with my brothers-in-law. Let's all posture and say what we think the others want to hear. Whatever you do, don't share any personal feelings or views that may be taken for weakness and lower your supposed status in the pack. Boring. Most guys you never actually get to know them. I don't know if my sisters even know what they are really like. I may be mistaken, but I believe that they don't know what they are really like.
I'm not sure why there has to be a"group" for this and a "gay culture"
for that one. As to not participating, making fun of people is a nasty habit
that supposedly "everyone" engages in, it must be to make those who indulge, feel superior to those, they mock. I don't like it.
Why not try to see, instead, if you have anything in common, with those who your friends make fun of, shelby.
I am starting to not have any patience with those who aren't trying to make this world a better place,for all who live in it,regardless if you hate "gay" or "straight culture".
I am not just singling out shelby's or earlogjam's friends either. This is for anyone and everyone, who seeks to divide us.
quote/Lex " Ha. " All the colors of the rainbow "
I tend to stay out of the Social "Gay" Circle.
I think its great that they can bond, talk, meet whatever, but it's the cut-downs that I steer clear of, and that keeps me away from it all.
For example, I would go into a bar, a cute guy would be standing there, so I gather my pride, and pleasantly walk over to them, and say "Hi"
Immediate response without eye-contact "No".
Me - "Excuse me?"
Him - "Forget it...No.. Shoo"
It seems like here(MI), there are many that think If your not buff and beautiful, your chopped liver.
Im sure there are many exceptions to that comment, but since I don't go out that much, and avoid the gay limelight...I can't say that it has changed.
Most of my hobbies aren't really something of the "Gay Ideal", so I'm more of an outcast in my own light.
I still enjoy meeting people, but tend to keep to myself most days.
I don't do "trendy" or "fashionable." I don't like loud disco/techno/trance/house/dance music or Cher or Madonna or Donna Summer. I'm not a big fan of Judy Garland or Barbra Streisand or Liza Minelli or Marilyn Monroe. I don't enjoy shopping. I have no home decorating sense.
Does this qualify me as "hating gay culture?"
No, but your woodwind collection gave you away baby LOL
It probably rules you out of the competition for best drag queen, but until you give up leather I think you are still over Earl's line.
Being that I am a gay black man, I have issues with all three factions: Gay culture. Black culture. Male gender roles--masculinity. Having worked in a gay nightclub. Living in an African-American household and community. Being a man (I have penis, testicles, and testosterone. I shave every two days. I like my beard stubble. That's why I don't shave every day. :smile: ).
I don't like the stereotypes in all three factions, either: Gay: You have to be gym buff. Wear flattering expensive couture. Have to sniff poppers and do other recreational street drugs (street chems) . Like and or be into drag queens and drag culture. You have to like Madonna, Beyonce, and/or Britney Spears.
I used to be very gym buff. Into working out. I met A LOT of good looking men but they weren't looking at who the person I was inside but what the packaging looked like. I am not into doing street chems. I used to like Madonna (After the "Music" album--I didn't like her music. And when she left America--I REALLY felt she had an "air of superiority".). Beyonce can sing but writes songs that are "cutdowns". Britney Spears. (Whatever.)
Black: You have to be hoodie. Be into smoking and doing street chems. You have carry yourself a certain way in the hood. You have to be into gangsta rap and Beyonce. If you aren't into black things...then you are a sellout. If you have outside interests--you aren't black. Most definately, if you're gay...they will think that you are Ru Paul. What would they know about gay culture other than what they hear on Jerry Springer or in the hood?
I am not a hoodie. I don't like bling-bling. I don't wear urban clothing like FUBU, Rocawear, State Property and ECKO. I don't like and cannot relate to gangsta rap or Beyonce. I would like to wear what I want to wear. I do love 80s and 90s R+B and funk music. I was VERY MUCH a disco kid. So, I do like disco. I also like 80s European pop music.
Male: You have to "like and love women" and always be on the lookout for women. You have to love football and other gladiator sports. You have to always be in control. Always be in the HUMP. I am not into women sexually. Some women don't like or understand that. Hey, they can get over it. I am not trying to hate on women. I understand and respect more women than they think at times. I am not Superman. I am not in control of anything. I am not in the HUMP. I am not into sports.
I can understand being a human and not liking certain things that are human. I think that I will be myself. If people don't like who I am, there are others that do and will like me. So, you, beyotches out there--learn to be yourselves. Don't be so pressured into doing things you don't want to do. Hollywood does have a factor in what is "IN' these days. You don't have to realize that. YOU are the only one who can decide what is "IN" for yourself. Yeah, you MAY BE THE ONLY ONE WITH YOUR LIKES AND DESIRES. So, what. Minorities do not have the majority opinion. It is their opinion and you are entitled to yours.
The collection of woodwinds has nothing to do with being gay. It is, instead, a reflection of a tendency to favor items that, while are interesting in construction, engineering, and use in artistic endeavors, are ultimately pointless and better off being used as lamps, planters, firewood, and scrap metal for fabricating jewelry & clock parts.
(speaking as a tuba player :biggrin1: )
Oh yeah? Those are awfully expensive lamps and firewood!
Guys who hate gay culture?
Is this about Kim Novak movies?