Geeks and girls

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Captain Elephant, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

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    Ben is a good friend of mine. He's an engineer in our studio and takes care of all of the high tech equipment. He knows more about computers than I'll ever want to know, but he also keeps our boards squeaky clean and sparked just right. He's also a major geek, and I mean that in the best way possible. It's apparent that his interpersonal skills are lacking and his only social life is when we invite him out for a drink. Or so we thought.

    Ben came to the studio last week with a woman. Yes, everyone there did a double-take. At first he introduced her as his friend, then she looked at him and poked him in the arm and he immediately corrected himself - fiancee, he meant fiancee. I tried to hide my surprise and offered them both my congratulations.

    OK, a little about her, and that's all I can write about her is just a little, because all I've got to go on is first impressions and the little bit I've talked to her and the little bit I talked to Ben today. She looks like she used to be a woman who liked to have fun. She's divorced and has three children. The first two are from her ex-husband. The third has unknown paternal origins. Children are 2 to 6. She's a major flirt, even on Ben's arm. I don't think Ben's oblivious to her outward signs, but he's really not equipped to handle it either. He usually just stands there with a grin and chuckles a little bit.

    I've never seen Ben with a woman before, and while I'm happy that he is searching for companionship, I am worried what the outcome may be. And I'm hoping I'm all wrong. They met online in a chat room. They didn't say what kind of chat room, in fact, they made a point of not saying. I've gathered that he proposed online. I don't know if this is the first time they've met in person, but Ben's never been out of the state, and I've never seen her before.

    But I'm not Ben's keeper, so all of this could be pure conjecture. It kind of reminds me of the brother in Napoleon Dynamite.

    She left over the weekend, and Ben is back to normal again. For a few days he was not the same person. He was distracted and off his game. I'm thinking he got laid and it messed with his mind, but that would be a good thing.

    Now, my question is not what to do, because I know what to do - nothing. I'm not going to say anything to Ben or warn him in any way. He's 28, by the way, so he is an adult.

    What I want to know is if some women of this type are looking for someone of Ben's type. She's had all of her fun, she's tired of the wild side, now she'll find a milktoast and settle down to a decent life. Again, all in my head, but is it logical? Will she really settle down? Will she get tired of being boring?

    I'm hoping for the best for Ben. He deserves it. Is he safe?
     
  2. Kassokilleri2ff

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    Who knows? Girls/women are insane as far as I can tell. But I hope all goes well for him, I'm always rooting for the nice guy! Go ben! ^_^
     
  3. MarkLondon

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    Um, sorry, I'm not a woman, or even straight, but I am a geek. It sounds good. Ben's making a connection with a woman and some kids too. And he's not hiding it

    OK, she's not a virgin, but would it be good for him if she was? I suspect not.

    I hope you support your friend throughout, Capt, wish him well from me. (And DON'T quiz him as to where on the internet he met her, unless you're prepared to confess you membership here - many years ago I was propositioned on a Novell Netware support group! and have long regretted not taking it up)
     
  4. StraightCock4Her

    StraightCock4Her New Member

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    Women who are "bad" or "wild" don't just settle down one day like the myths would have us believe.


    If you can tell a girl has done some seriously idiotic things in her life... Then stay the fuck away from her because she'll fuck your life up too.
     
  5. psidom

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    she may have dicovered something in her wild explorations
    that allowed her to see the potential of wild in the milktoast.

    i however also agree with straightcock.
    if what i stated previously,isn't the truth.
     
  6. Enid

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    You said:

    I'm hoping for the best for Ben. He deserves it. Is he safe?

    My reply:

    It is extremely hard to say, because we don't know her personality. What you can go on is the observed dynamic between them -- did they seem at ease with each other? Loving? At least a little bit affectionate? If they appeared to have a rapport, I'm betting all will be fine.

    Yep, women do go for geeks. I'm a professed geek lover!
     
  7. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

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    OK, this is how I saw it. She had her arm around his the entire time they were in the studio. She talked and flirted with everyone and had a comment about just about any male that walked by. Ben looked very nervous but kept his smile on the whole time. He did not seem at ease with the situation at all. I learned later that he was afraid of how she might act in front of his friends. Not sure what he meant by that.

    She seemed quite affectionate toward him, but overtly so, like she was pouring it on. He rarely responded to her, and I think he felt embarrassed.

    Today Ben's back to being Ben. Never mentioned her since day before yesterday. Maybe that's a geek thing.

    Chrissy, one question for you: would Ben be safe with you?
     
  8. Jovial

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    Some people feel like everyone is judging them and will make a big deal out of anything unusual. For me, I tend to notice a lot more things about other people than most people do. I'm a people watcher. So I always think people are going to notice the same level of detail about me and judge/criticize me. Maybe that's how your is friend.
     
  9. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    I think only time will tell if things will work out for Ben and his friend or not.

    She may not be too smart so she over compensates with the flirting. She has done it so long it is a habit?

    She may be attracted to Ben because she is attracted to smart people.

    Or if Ben has money maybe she is after security.


    Who knows maybe Ben has a large penis and she is attracted to that.

    Or maybe they are both into Dominant Submissive type relationships and she is his Dom. Who knows?
     
  10. Enid

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    Yes, Ben would be safe with me as I'd never put myself in a situation to seriously/carelessly lead a person on or not honor someone & their feelings if the expectation and reality was total commitment & monogamy. In dating situations I might be a bit more casually flirtatious & open but again, not gonna hurt someone with whom there is a serious, solid agreement about what the relationship is or not is and roles are clearly defined.

    She perhaps was acting in a compensatory manner, that is entirely possible. (Re the flirting.) Ben sounds like an introspective, private sort and she sounds like she is a person that could put on social airs, as it were -- just different ways of relating to the environment if that makes any sense. That doesn't mean they aren't great together or good for each other. Time will tell I suppose. I'd like to hear updates if/as you get them.
     
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