Genital Mismatch: I really am too big. :[

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Symphonic, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. Symphonic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,754
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Minneapolis (MN, US)
    So my partner and I tried having sex again and I've grown a little for no apparent reason in multiple ways. Sadly one of those ways seems to defeat the little vagina, making sex extremely uncomfortable. Now I'm actually not the one I am concerned about; she is upset that her vagina can't accomodate my penis and while I tried to comfort her I keep getting getting angry remarks and she snaps at me.

    I can sympathize a bit with her ( as she admits it's feelings of inadequacy ) and because of that I don't intend to leave her ( she's good in every other way and I'm fine with less to no sex really; it's a fair price IMO { my exchange is not up for discussion thanks } ) on these grounds. I just don't know what to do to comfort her, and I'd like to do so.

    We've tried: Going slow, extra lube, breathing exercises, lots of communication, putting her in control, etc. It's just a biological fact that she can't take it. Can't take dildos of that size either.

    I just want to know if anyone has had a partner like this and how they comforted them. . . :]
     
  2. D_Auric_Goldthinger

    D_Auric_Goldthinger Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2008
    Messages:
    1,136
    Likes Received:
    2
    how big are you?
     
  3. Drifterwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    15,725
    Likes Received:
    386
    Location:
    Fingringhoe (GB)
    We split up after a year or so. We were 19/20. There was a great guy on the site called Love-it (I haven't seen him for a while). He has been with a size incompatible partner for a long time and sticks at it. Personally I didn't and I wouldn't.

    I'm sorry if this isn't the usual relationship is everything advice, but sometimes things just don't work.
     
  4. technopeasant

    technopeasant Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
    Messages:
    269
    Likes Received:
    13
    Have you had her to a gynocologist? This may be vaginisms. Women who have them can't put anything in their vagina. It is a muscle spasm in the vagina and it is correctable with proper therapy which both you and she can do. Find out before you give up the pleasures of sex in a relationship.
     
  5. UnofficialGirl

    UnofficialGirl New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2009
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    2
    are you making sure she's super turned on and relaxed? try going down on her first or making her cum first before you start having sex

    how many times have you tried? and her getting upset won't help any either
     
  6. Stretch

    Stretch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2005
    Messages:
    2,408
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    You've written in previous posts that you're not particularly big., so based on that I doubt it's a Genital mismatch. Assuming this post is real then it could be a number of reasons. First and foremost would probably be her mental state and attitude towards you and with you. I'm guessing you've been with other partners with whom this has never been an issue, so maybe try to communicate with her. It sounds like a psychological situation rather then a physical one. Good luck
     
  7. Symphonic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,754
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Minneapolis (MN, US)
    In 50 some-odd days i had a growth spurt? I had been assuming for over three years now I wouldn't grow so technically I haven't actually measured my penis in a very long time ( at least 6 mos. if not since last Dec. ). That's not the point; first I will address her mental state. She was tense but with finals over she's relaxed quite a bit; I attributed that as the cause at first since it seemed so readily available. I also have a history with the same person, who complained a long time ago, but it wasn't really impossible then.

    To the one who posed that she might have Vaginimus, we checked. We checked a lot of things. She's been the gyno twice on account of the issue and she's as healthy as you can get. She just has a tiny pussy! :X
     
  8. Symphonic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,754
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Minneapolis (MN, US)
    That is fair advice and I hope it doesn't come to that but it is true that not all good advice is pleasant and I thank you for your honesty.

    We have tried for a few mos. so it's been at least 3 times a week for about 2 mos.? I do my best to make sure she's turned on, I ask her, we go slow, and we go when she says "go", not I. Even then it doesn't seem to work. I do give oral sex.
     
  9. JTalbain

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,812
    Likes Received:
    5
    One piece of advice that tends to get tossed around is that the vagina can stretch to a tremendous degree, so extended foreplay can help. Remember, it 's supposed to stretch enough to accomodate a baby's head. The Kama Sutra had it right when talking about different sizes in genitals; it's not so much a matter of size as a matter of fit.

    You could try gentle stretching to eventually allow her to accomodate you in the same way that other women stretch over time for cheesy amateur porn. (Word to the wise: absolutely NONE of those girls started off taking a 2-Liter of Diet Coke into their pussy.) Might take some time, but she'd probably be willing to try if she was experiencing feelings of inadequecy, since she'd be taking steps to positively improve your collective sex lives. In the meantime, I'm sure that the process could be rather.... engaging..... for the both of you. :tongue:

    Other than that, there's probably a surgical solution, but I doubt that she'd be very receptive to the idea. I know I wouldn't be.
     
  10. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2006
    Messages:
    2,116
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    "Too Big" is a relative term.

    What you are experiencing as far as the relationship is not really all that unusual. I know a man who is by definitions that all would accept an extremely large man. He is just a hair over 7" in height and his normal weight is about 320 pounds. His shoes are all custom made because they are in excess of a size 18. He is a very kind fellow and his extreme size of course made relationships difficult. He did work out because it made him feel better and he was just a monster of a human by definition. His genitals were in proportion with the rest of his body. He met and fell in love with a very petite woman of Japanese heritage. The problems that they had in the beginning were similar. In fact I personally would have been afraid of sex with her, had I been him because of her very small size. I would guess her to be no more than 5' in height and in weight no more than about 90 pounds. Over time and with medical help they did work through their problems and married. They have three sons all of which were in the 6'3" height area because of the Fathers contribution to the gene pool. I do not know what was done, but because the bride was someone my Mother knew, I did know that she went to the MD and work was done on her to help her accept him.

    At your size, you are indeed in girth at the very upper end of a normal range, if she is at the lower end on the size of the vaginal barrel the two will not match without some work.

    The one thing not mentiond here or clear to me is if this is a wife or girlfriend. If this is a person with whom you are really serious there are medical procedures which can help her accept you, there are in fact several. She needs to be taken to a Gyn specializing in reproductive issues and they will be able to help.

    Good Luck
     
  11. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,442
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra, Australia
    I have had sex with a lot of girls with shorter, tighter pussies, and only once had real problems with a girl who struggled a bit with my girth. But we still penetrated and had sex. My now wife's first time was terrible, as she was tense and nervous and I struggled to penetrate and it was very painful for her. She was tense about likely pain, and once that was out of the way she relaxed and the next day we had great sex.

    Based on my experiences, it's almost certainly in her mind, and the mind is the most important sex organ. If she can relax and go with the flow and let her body get aroused, then she will be able to take you. But, it seems, she's failed and it hurt, and now she's tense and because she's tense it still hurts.
     
  12. Symphonic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,754
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Minneapolis (MN, US)
    I did not know surgery was an option. Do you know what the surgery is called, what it does, what it costs? Even a name would help. Also the man in your tale, what exactly caused that in him?

    Well! I can't fix it then. Sad.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted