Gentlemen

bthegreat

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Treating others like you would want to be treated. Gentlemen so respect to all. As far as style, do everything with a touch of maturity. That means your clothes should grow up with you not revert to your teen years. Having manners, like saying "excuse me", or "sir & mam" (although some women will not want to be called mam so pick and choose). A good one is when a lady comes to the table, stand up and let her sit down before you take your seat again. Also when at dinner the lady orders first, then you. If you are with a buddy or a boyfriend or whoever, its best to let them order first. Once the food arrives wait until they take pick up their knife and fork first, then you.

There are many more but these will help you get started. Congrats on taking yourself to the next level.

Thanks!
 

bthegreat

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How should a Gentleman sit and walk. I tend to cross my legs when siting and some find that a thing for women only. Also how should they talk? Most of the gentlemen I know have very deep voices.
 

nudeyorker

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How should a Gentleman sit and walk. I tend to cross my legs when siting and some find that a thing for women only. Also how should they talk? Most of the gentlemen I know have very deep voices.

I wish I could have found something better for you but this is the best I could find quickly. Sitting, standing and walking is all about good posture, balance and gracefulness. YouTube -How to Walk Like a Model : Runway Walking for Men
How you sit depends largely on what you are wearing and what kind of chair you are in, but the best thing I can tell you is watch some old Cary Grant movies. But suffice to say don't sit too femininely or like a lumber jack and you should be fine.
In terms of your voice a deep voice is the ideal; but a clear and well modulated voice that sounds natural is what you are aiming for.
 

dolfette

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speaking,

the most important thing is to annunciate.
don't drop letters off the end of words.
eg. but. there should be a clear and distinct t.
speak clearly and in level tones.
maybe your could buy a book/cd/dvd on elocution,
or even maybe find a class in your area.

it's actually proven to get people ahead in life.
 

Countryguy63

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As has been said, a gentleman genuinely cares about others. I believe this is the main core. Manners and styles are all polish and shine. Yes, they add to your good quailities, but without the "core principals", they do not make you a gentleman.

If you truly care about others, many of the actions just come naturally. When I'm out in public, if I'm coming to a door and there are others around me who are also entering the same establishment, I will hold the door for them, male or female. I was always taught that it's just the right thing to do.

typical...

you don't know what a gentleman is.

A gentleman doesn't get cheated on because he stands up for his core values and his own sense of honor, and does so without making anyone else feel cheap, belittled, or disaffected.

{snip}

I take acception to this. You have no control over what the other person might do. When I met and married my ex, she appeared to be very genuine and in love. I am very much a gentleman, but that did not stop her from having an affair. :mad:
 

helgaleena

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speaking,

the most important thing is to annunciate.
don't drop letters off the end of words.
eg. but. there should be a clear and distinct t.
speak clearly and in level tones.
maybe your could buy a book/cd/dvd on elocution,
or even maybe find a class in your area.

it's actually proven to get people ahead in life.

by Jove, I think she's got it! :shhh:
 

dolfette

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the basics: manners maketh man.

a gentleman always offers up his seat to the elderly, infirm, pregnant or those with children.
a gentleman does not lose his temper, throw tantrums, shout obscenities.
a gentleman never puts a bad mood on show.
a gentleman, in his dealings with others, assumes respect in both directions.
a gentleman does not brag, boast, slander or gossip.
a gentleman accepts a refusal with good grace and humour.
a gentleman does not drink to excess.
a gentleman does not swagger, slouch or scurry.
a gentleman prefers understated grace to show-off excess.
a gentleman will always pay a fair price for good service.

optional extras: for those wanting to impress, climb social ladders, or just earn bloody good money at the upper end of the escort market.

memorise cutlery. it's correct use is often more complex than people think. watch yourself eating...never over fill your mouth, chew with your mouth open, speak with your mouth full.
take a short course on wine tasting. a little knowledge goes a long way. pay attention to wine etiquette.
a basic knowledge of classical music, art and literature will serve you well. you never know when it might come in handy.
find a good tailor, a good hairdresser and a good manicurist.
there's a fine line between taking pride in yourself and vanity. one is admirable and the other will make you a laughing stock.
if you find yourself out of your depth, smile and admit your ignorance in this circumstance, express a desire to learn more. if you get caught out in an obvious bluff then you'll look both foolish and dishonest.
learn to dance. the very basics of the most obvious. a waltz, a tango, etc. a man who can dance is impressive. it will also improve your grace in general.
 
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bthegreat

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the basics: manners maketh man.

a gentleman always offers up his seat to the elderly, infirm, pregnant or those with children.
a gentleman does not lose his temper, throw tantrums, shout obscenities.
a gentleman never puts a bad mood on show.
a gentleman, in his dealings with others, assumes respect in both directions.
a gentleman does not brag, boast, slander or gossip.
a gentleman accepts a refusal with good grace and humour.
a gentleman does not drink to excess.
a gentleman does not swagger, slouch or scurry.
a gentleman prefers understated grace to show-off excess.
a gentleman will always pay a fair price for good service.

optional extras: for those wanting to impress, climb social ladders, or just earn bloody good money at the upper end of the escort market.

memorise cutlery. it's correct use is often more complex than people think. watch yourself eating...never over fill your mouth, chew with your mouth open, speak with your mouth full.
take a short course on wine tasting. a little knowledge goes a long way. pay attention to wine etiquette.
a basic knowledge of classical music, art and literature will serve you well. you never know when it might come in handy.
find a good tailor, a good hairdresser and a good manicurist.
there's a fine line between taking pride in yourself and vanity. one is admirable and the other will make you a laughing stock.
if you find yourself out of your depth, smile and admit your ignorance in this circumstance, express a desire to learn more. if you get caught out in an obvious bluff then you'll look both foolish and dishonest.
learn to dance. the very basics of the most obvious. a waltz, a tango, etc. a man who can dance is impressive. it will also improve your grace in general.

You have more, because this is great.
 

shybutwhy

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A true gentleman does what is necessary to make everyone around him comfortable at all times. He puts himself second, always. A true lady would do so as well. Being a gentleman has very little to do with interactions with the opposite sex, it is about handling yourself in social situations with grace.
All those mannerisms that dolfette listed are related in the sense that there will always be those that are annoyed by or uncomfortable around someone who does the opposite.

for example, a man who chews with his mouth open can never be a gentleman. No matter how nice he is. At the same time a man who is well-dressed and acts as such but does so out of vanity is not a gentleman. If in your heart, you strive to find and show altruism in the most simple and mundane tasks, then you are already a gentleman. To do so in the service of others is your last step.
 

simbablk

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I've been trying to reinvent myself into a class A Gentleman in every way possible in my life. From what I wear, to what I say, from head to toe, inside and out.

You guys can help me with that? What are the rules and guidelines?

I applaud you for seeking this. It's great to know that there will be a gentleman out there to make the world a better place.

It seems you have gotten plenty of good responses. I'm curious to know how are things going? What changes have you made? What have you found works best for you? What is really difficult to change?

Simba
 

bthegreat

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I applaud you for seeking this. It's great to know that there will be a gentleman out there to make the world a better place.

It seems you have gotten plenty of good responses. I'm curious to know how are things going? What changes have you made? What have you found works best for you? What is really difficult to change?

Simba

Thank you.

Things are going well. I've started change up my wardrobe so that when I get dress in the morning I can go just about anywhere and not be under dressed. My grooming habits have increased. I no longer have a large beard like I once had, I'm always clean and clean shaved. I do keep my body hair though. I like my hairy ass and chest and stomach.

I need to work on talking. Not in the sense that I don't know how to speak but I say some offensive things only in joking ways and I need to work on that because I do slip.

Any tips you can pass along?
 

dolfette

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everyone thinks they speak correctly.
few do.
it's the one thing that really lets people down. the thing people most often neglect. you see a sharp dressed man, he opens his mouth and sounds common as muck.
 

helgaleena

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How would I make sure I speak correctly?

I'd say, try not to swear, leave out the ain'ts and so on, as a first step. Learn some new vocabulary and know what they mean so you can slip them easily into what you are trying to say. Reader's Digest is good for that.

In the USA there's no special 'high-class' accent other than sounding like news presenters on television. If there's a character in films or TV you want to emulate, rent the DVD and imitate it, but don't get too obvious or your friends will kid you.
 

dolfette

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more than that.
there are right and wrong ways to construct a sentence.
as i said before, pronounce the whole word. no cutting corners.
don't add in 'like', 'innit', 'right', 'yknow', etc.
record yourself in conversation and then really listen.

amazon sells elocution courses, book & cd.

accents are fine, as long as people can understand you.
 

monel

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How would I make sure I speak correctly?


You must repeat ad infinitum "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain" I think it helps if you can sing it too. :biggrin1:

Failing that, I took elocution lessons as a kid. Maybe there are still such instructions available.
 

twoton

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After a quick review of the replies, I have not seen this jewel of advice, from Oscar Wilde, I believe:
"A gentleman is never rude by accident."