Genuine leather alligator boots,

BUSTERHYMAN

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A US Army Ranger was on vacation in Louisiana and he was hell bent on buying a pair of genuine leather alligator boots, but the soldier did not want to pay the exorbitantly high prices for the shoes. One day he was trying to haggle with a salesman, but the gentleman behind the counter wouldn't lower the price.
"Maybe I'll just go and find an alligator so I can get a pair of my own god damned shoes at a reasonable price!" the Ranger said.
"Go ahead," replied the salesman. "Two Marines just came in here a few hours before you did and said the same thing."
The Ranger went out to the swamp and was wading waist deep through the water with his knife drawn when he came upon the two Marines. Suddenly, a nearby alligator dove underneath the water and began swimming toward them. In a flash, the Marines lifted the creature out of the water and strangled it to death. They then proceeded to drag it to shore where ten other dead alligators lay. They flipped it onto its back and looked at its feet.
One of the Marines said: "God fucking dammit, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"