Get a life!

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by curious_angel, Jul 9, 2011.

  1. curious_angel

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    I've had some powerful moments of clarity recently, leading me to the conclusion that I need to get a life. Now I just need to understand how one goes about achieving this.

    It's advice I've offered to others in the past. The trouble is I've never followed up with these individuals to find out how, or indeed if, they pursued my suggestion.:tongue:


    For me it's not really so much a quest to "get a life". It's more about making changes. The catalyst being a change in circumstances I have no control over.

    Does anyone else have similar moments where the fog clears on complex issues and things suddenly fall into place? Have you had success in making positive changes to your life as a result?

    Or maybe you're one of the people I've previously suggested should "get a life!", and now you'd like to take the opportunity to advise me on the best way to go fuck myself. :cool::smile:
     
  2. ManofThunder

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    I need to 'get a life'. Personally, I want to do different things with my life but it's hard finding the motivation and confidence. There are moments where I think, "Wow, has my life meant anything?" My light-hearted attitude serves me well, but sometimes it holds me back. Sometimes you have to work hard to reach your goal, but keep a hold on what makes you happy and unique. From the little I know about you, I'd say you are already living a full-life - we all feel like a change now and again, so there's no need to fuck yourself. (Unless you wish to. :tongue:) The fog cleared for me many years ago, but I'm still wading through the swamp of my existence currently. It takes time and a clear head to reach the shore. That's how I feel about it, anyway. :smile:
     
    #2 ManofThunder, Jul 9, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2011
  3. Bbucko

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    There's an old saying that 90% of life is just showing up :wink:
     
  4. workandplay243

    workandplay243 New Member

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    It's not a matter of getting life, you have got life. Life offers many twists and turns, ups and downs, loves and hatreds of all kinds. It's a grand adventure, so enjoy it. Worrying about the future, money, health, family, has all but bogged me down in the past but inch by inch you can climb out of any hardship as long as you have the will power to continue. Sometimes negative circumstances are just unavoidable, but always try to stay positive; It's good for your health, your attitude, and others your are in contact with.
     
  5. D_Tim McGnaw

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    I'm one of those people who forces those realisations on myself from time to time. I hate being the last to realise that my shit needs to be dealt with or that I need to be doing things differently so I periodically take a good long hard look at my life and myself and try to be as honest as possible and then assess what needs to be changed, what I should be getting the fuck to grips with and I do it.
     
  6. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    CA, what sort of life do you want to get? What sort of changes do you want to make?
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    Every year on my birthday I make a list of what I want in the next year whether it's a place I want to go or something I would like to achieve personally or professionally or learn or something I want to buy. I then make a page for each goal and detail what it takes to achieve the goal. Sometimes you don't get it that year but if it's important enough to me I carry it over to the next year and move on to plan B (sometimes it's been plan X) Eventually you reach your goals and sometimes you have to let a goal go and move on to something else.
    Some people daydream about what they want; I make a list and treat it like a business plan.
     
  8. parr

    parr New Member

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    I was once told years ago, that you must have a "main objective" you
    know, what's the most important thing that matters to you, then
    go in that direction. That might help.:biggrin1:
     
  9. TurkeyWithaSunburn

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    I suggest a hot naked guy tied down to a 4 poster bed that's taken Viagra an hour beforehand and use him as your personal dildo. :biggrin1:
     
  10. rbkwp

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    Does anyone else have similar moments where the fog clears on complex issues and things suddenly fall into place? Have you had success in making positive changes to your life as a result




    Have found constant changes throughout the last 15 odd years of my life has helped enormously in leading to contentment.
    by that i mean, don't hold back in whatever your mindset suggests will be the best for you
    an eg
    Personally i was so so discontented with life & society, talking Govts/Insurance/Pharmaceuticals etc and all there shenanigans.
    not at all to the degree of Suicide-sh
    Just an overwhelming desire to say and act on the 'Fck it' scenario.
    After the initial major change in thought.
    Acting on things like selling my house, dispersed most of the supposed treasures and have lived simply and uncomplicated ever since.
    Semi drop out of society, call it what you will a frugal existence with the riches of a full life, as you want it.
    If you have been satisfied you have made a significant contribution to society esp human kind .. that helps.
    Could not be happier (this also incls Human relationships btw)
    Had come to a point where had 'given enuf of myself' (not that i have stopped that completely)
    Worked for me in a personal way, and have been encouraged by several close friends (mainly very elderly) who wish they had done so earlier in there life
    Non pursuit of the expected norm if you can afford? to.
    enz

    of course not recommended for the younger brigade, but mid life on go for it if you can.
     
  11. curious_angel

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    Do you know what the "different things" are, MoT? Motivation and confidence are a bitch. :frown1:

    Thanks MoT. I'm not lacking full. It's more a change in focus.

    I'm actually quite adept at fucking myself.

    Woody Allen, no? Is 90% luck a terrifying thought or a comfort? I'm not sure. I do know that a wink from Bb is a reassuring thing :heart:.

    I admire your approach hilaire. Do you make lists of things to do? How often do you force it?

    Now get the fuck over to my house and sort out my life! Also, see x704s comments on fucking myself.:wink:

    I don't want to reveal the specifics of my situation on the forum, but I will say that I want to refocus what I spend my time doing. Now the stress induced "fog" is clearing, I have new insight on previously unfathomable (to me) situations. Sorry if this seems like I'm speaking in code. And no, I haven't found religion! :smile:

    I was convinced we were related until I read this, nudey. :tongue: You are the ultimate SelfOrganisingMan.

    I use similar strategies in my working life and have been relatively successful, particularly in putting together complex deals. I've neglected to do this for myself. :redface:

    I'm liking your suggestion, a lot. I am in dire need of a good fucking. Thanks x704 for such insight.
     
    #11 curious_angel, Jul 9, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2011
  12. ManofThunder

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    Yes, I know. I'm interested in art and artistic pursuits. I want to do something more creative with my life, I've made a start - but it's certainly not easy. :redface:

    You're very welcome, lovely lady. :smile: I know what you mean, my focus has needed to adapt enormously over the years. These days, my non-work related focus is on the three "F's" - friends, fun and fu**ing. (Fill in the blanks. :tongue:) I have been known to screw myself over, also. :biggrin1:
     
  13. OhWiseOne

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    Focus, direction and lifes path. All three of these things change to some degree based what life throws at us. I'm not saying abandon your goals or dreams but they may need to be modified over time. I have made so many modifications to my goals it looks like swiss cheese, but good cheese, well aged cheese.
    Damn it, where are my crackers?
     
  14. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    For me, and this is purely a personal thing, I view list writing as a form of procrastination. Once I know what needs to be done it's not like it's generally going to be so enormous a task that I'll need some list to help me remember it all.

    I think lists work for some people, they're just not for me, they'd end up becoming their own raison d'etre.

    I think I go through these periodic self examinations on some weird personal inner cycle, I seem to know when I need to do them. But my birthday ( in similarity to Nudey) can often be one of those times for self appraisal.



    Seriously darling we really cannot have you needing to fuck yourself, I'm booking the chopper, I'll be with you in a couple of hours, have the champers on ice :wink:
     
    #14 D_Tim McGnaw, Jul 9, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2011
  15. Bbucko

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    The only thing that really terrifies me are heights and bridges, gorgeous. There was a time in my life when it seemed impossible to consider that anything was random, and was certain that everything's just some predetermined piece of mindfuck theater. Though I'm still a fatalist, I've softened my stance on predetermination as I cannot conceive of any bugger with such a bad sense of humor.

    And, yes: my winks are meant to reassure you that, regardless of which choice you make or which path you choose you'll find challenge and reward in roughly equal measure. Feel better? :biggrin1:

    Having met and interacted with Nudey personally, I'd have to say that I'm sure he rocks his lists: his accomplishments are breathtaking.

    However, and for the record, I agree with you on the quote above. I form objectives on a meta scale and start on my way, usually alone and in the middle of the night without a flashlight: it's hardly for everybody but it works for me :cool:
     
  16. Incocknito

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    I'll give you a life. For one night only ;)

    It's hard to give more advise than that because you are quite vague in your OP. What are these circumstances over which you think you have no control?

    If you think it is then it is. If you think happy thoughts you can fly. Or you know, moves house, do whatever you want.

    Recently, I've been thinking (paramedics were on standby) and the fact is that you will never have the time you have now again.

    So while it might feel good to masturbate for four hours, that's four hours gone. Just an example.

    So try to do something worthwhile, productive every hour. Whether its learn guitar, practice whatever skill, or write something.

    The other things that help are exercise, and staying relaxed. I'm naturally very laid back and I'm relaxed virtually all the time.

    But today I met two of the most stressed out, aggressive and confrontational people. Verbally aggressive btw. I was shocked at how ridiculous yet intense their stress was. They were getting upset about things they either did not know or did not control.

    Like 'what if' future questions and imagining the most unlikely scenarios and making them out to be certainties.

    Of course I am not a guru and find it difficult sometimes to do the right thing. But the right thing is seldom the easy thing. And its actually quite rewarding to accomplish things daily. Doesn't have to be a major thing but "every little helps".

    I heard recently that winning/ losing is a habit. I think its similar with people and their lives. Some people are in the habit of treading water and others are in the habit of swimming.

    That's not to say you can't go from treading water to swimming and swimmers can't slow down into treading water. They can and do. Ultimately though its the person's individual choice.
     
  17. curious_angel

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    I'm with you on lists, except that I do find writing things down can help crystalise my thoughts.

    Land the chopper in the garden and come on in.:cool: Bollinger is on ice. :wink:
     
  18. D_Tim McGnaw

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    Writing things down in a kind of dialogue with myself I do quite a bit, I'm not listing things I'm making sure I don't loose sight of the conversation I was having with myself that led to the realisations I'm trying to put into action.

    But were anyone else to read these conversations I suspect they'd think I had rather sad pretentions to being a poet or perhaps practiced automatic writing :biggrin1:


    I know! Why don't I just pick you up and we'll check into Claridges for the week, we'll shop by day and distress the maids in the mornings with the evidence our night time antics :wink:
     
  19. Pendlum

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    Since I'm a born procrastinator I can't really offer any advice as I'm terrible at doing things for myself. Only when I do something for someone else do I shift into high gear. So I can only say I hope you achieve your goals and if I can help I would happy to.
     
  20. earllogjam

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    There's another old saying that goes, "Most men live lives of quiet desperation."
     
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