getting a number but not hearing back

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by athleticguy, Mar 28, 2011.

  1. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    I haven't been long going out on the scene in London, but I decided to after realising that day-to-day I don't meet many gay guys, I decided to go for it. The first time, I hooked up with a big Scottish guy and ended up having a crazy night, but last week, I opted for a more sensible approach.

    Anyway I was with my 'friend' Antony. He's a guy I know through a friend, recently came out, and we go to bars together, but we're not close. I actually find him annoying as fuck; he does these irritating gymnast moves and is just...an attention whore.

    Anyway we were in Village and I saw this gorgeous looking guy, a little older than me. I flashed a couple of smiles and after getting a drink, walked over. His name is John, and he works in a bank. He's 30 (I'm 22) and we were chatting for about two hours.

    He had just come to town so wasn't very drunk but I'd had a couple. He said I was quite confident to come over and chat to him. We were chatting about loads with a bit of flirting (he showed me his 6pac, and he had really big muscled arms) and he teased me a little for being slim (though I showed my stomach off too).

    I just got this great vibe from him, and we went somewhere quieter for a drink, but he did eventually say that I'm not his type. I was a little crushed, since we were getting on so well, but figured these things are out of your control, and I could always rely on him to be a good buddy.

    Then he saw my friends and suggested I met back up with them. I was happy with his company, but he said he wanted to mingle with a few more people; I was the first guy he spoke to that night and my friends were looking for me.

    Anyway, I texted him the next day and never heard from him. We'd talked about meeting again; for a drink, or even to his part of London to do something.

    I was really confused. Anyone have any thoughts? I wondered if he picked up on my attraction to him and didn't want to lead me on. I haven't sent him a second text, but I'm thinking about it, since it's been a few weeks.

    Would really appreciate some feedback.
     
  2. vizzered

    vizzered Member

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    Love, or the the pursuit of some lovin', is a battlefield. My advice is to move on to the next engagement and try not to obsess on the scars from the previous.:wink:
     
  3. Charles Finn

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    hang in there and be true to yourself
     
  4. sinbad1

    sinbad1 Member

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    I suggest you leave it alone. He indicated that you weren't his type. Keep going out and looking and eventually someone who is your type and his will turn up. The best you can hope for is to see this guy out and about sometime in the near future and then you could try to have another drink and chat with him but it is my experience that rarely are friendships formed in clubs, unless both people want it to happen ... it takes time and numerous encounters with each other.
     
  5. SoSoPretty

    SoSoPretty Member

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    If it's been a few weeks, he's probably forgotten who you are...
     
  6. Gecko4lif

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    More than 3 days move on.
     
  7. monel

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    Leave it alone. At least he was up front with you not being his type. If he were interested in even just being friends he would have contacted you back. I think you have done all you should do.
     
  8. SeeDickRun

    SeeDickRun New Member

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    Although he's probably one of the "good guys", as indicated by the fact that he was up front, and told you that you weren't his type, he's best forgotten. To paraphrase the movie, "He's just not that into you." Let it go.
     
  9. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    I think this is what I needed to hear. Thanks guys. I knew it, but you know how you like to kid yourself. Cheers!
     
  10. AlteredEgo

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    Did he specify that you should send text messages? I'm the same age as your banker, and i have blocked texts from my phone. I don't wish to pay for that service, since my email comes straight to my phone. People send me text messages all the time. Weeks later, they finally call to ask why I've been ignoring them. Perhaps you should call the fella, and leave a message if he doesn't answer.
     
  11. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    yea, he is based in Manchester but comes to London for work 3 days a week. He said we should keep in touch, go for the odd drink/meal when he was in town.
     
  12. AlteredEgo

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    But did he specifically say to keep in touch by text? Did he use that word? If not, he may simply be expecting a call.
     
  13. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    Maybe I'll give him a ring tomorrow evening, see what the craic is. Thanks guys.
     
  14. nolbaby

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    don't totally give up. i mean don't get creepy, but it isn't ALWAYS time to move on so quickly. likely? yes, but not always.
    i met a girl on march 31st (its June 13th now) and hung out at a bar for like an hour. great chemistry. i mean GREAT. there was no question that we were going to have a good chance at something developing and that we'd see each other again soon.
    she called me 2 nights later to go hot tubbing, but i was at work. she called the following weekend about a concert, but i had to work that night. she send me a pic and i sent one in return. we talked on the phone for about an hour 1 night about 2 weeks after we met. she liked me and she tried to continue things. i liked her too, but i happen to be struggling to kick an 8 year meth addiction, and it isn't a "back to normal in 3 days" type of thing. they say it takes 6 months before your sex drive gets back to normal without meth after a multi-year addiction. i never told her that part, and i have kinda avoided her cuz i don't need to whip out the skeletons and scare her off. so, i've not spoken to her in over a month now and she probably thinks i just wasn't interested. well fuck that, i am. why am i sitting here typing on a website anyway i should go call her peace
     
  15. dolfette

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    you pay extra for texts?
     
  16. AlteredEgo

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    They are separate from my data package, yes. My data package covers unlimited downloads/uploads unlimited calling. If people want me, they can call, email, leave a direct message on Twitter or Facebook, or come to my house. Unlimited texts for my family plan would cost $240/year. Fuck that. That's one more over-indulgent dinner with my husband at my favorite restaurant in Miami and a movie for two in Real-D. Or we could go to Cinebistro a couple of times. I'd rather that.
     
  17. dolfette

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    never heard of that before.
    is it common stateside?
     
  18. AlteredEgo

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    I'm not sure. It's never been included for me, however, with the exception of one three year period, I have had this same company since 1999.
     
  19. dolfette

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    here you usually get a ton of free texts every month with most contracts.
     
  20. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

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    I met Shania Twain years ago before she was married. We hit it off big time, had lots of laughs, shared stories and dinner. Nothing happened after that. I kind of wish it had sometimes, but honestly, I'm quite happy where I'm at right now.

    If I had pursued her one of two things would have happened: I'd be Mr. Shania Twain right now, or, more likely I would have been unceremoniously disavowed and never hear from her again. Worse, there would have probably have been a restraining order sworn out after me.

    So, like I said, I'm pretty happy where I'm at. Be happy too.
     
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