Getting ahead in your career

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by BiItalianBro, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. BiItalianBro

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,246
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago & Louisville KY
    Some of you may have seen this but thought I would throw it out there. Think about it next time you are in a five hour mental masturbation meeting at work talking about 'synergy' and 'creating added value' based on 'metrics'. :biggrin1:
    Someone sent me this indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    Is represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:
    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

    And
    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But ,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

    A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and
    Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
     
  2. sam_solo26

    sam_solo26 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    494
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Far Corner of the Universe
    This is the best thing I've ever heard.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted