getting back w/ ex-g/f

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_icanthearyou, Jun 19, 2005.

  1. D_icanthearyou

    D_icanthearyou New Member

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    My ex girlfriend and i seperated about 4 mnths ago because she wanted to explore her sexuality. It didn't work out with the girl she was dating and we decided to give us a second chance. She was not home on yesterday when i went to her place to pick up something and i used her bathroom before i left and happened to see the condom in her trash can. when i confronted her last night, she denied it and said it could have been one of her brothers or sister, because they are in her place sometimes. But to me she didn't react the way an innocent person should have.

    So my question is: Since we're not officially back together how should i treat this issue, because right now i'm extremely angry and hurt.

    PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE
     
  2. BobLeeSwagger

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    If the two of you are officially broken up, then whether she sleeps with another guy is none of your business.
     
  3. D_icanthearyou

    D_icanthearyou New Member

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    I agree with you totally but, we were in the process of working things out, even talking about marriage and kids. soi feel if she doesn't mean me any good then don't lead me on
    If the two of you are officially broken up, then whether she sleeps with another guy is none of your business.
    [post=322196]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
     
  4. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    move the hell on and find somebody else. HTH!!
     
  5. Lex

    Lex
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    IM me when you see me Q. We'll talk there.
     
  6. hippyscum

    hippyscum New Member

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    well, either she did actually do nothing wrong, and you're just being paranoid, (If you were expecting guilt after seeing the used condom you were going to find it in her reaction, I've been there and nearly lost friends because of it) or she's lying, and her lying is not the best foundation on which to rebuild your relationship, and if you're THAT sure she's lying, end it, or put up with it. good luck.
     
  7. eastbaydude

    eastbaydude New Member

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    Dude -

    Walk, do not run, to the nearest emergency exit.

    If you were broken up, even though you were trying to patch things up, she had every right to be with somone else. You really can't complain. You just need to suck it up and get on with the relationship.

    BUT....

    Here's the problem. You know the condom didn't belong to her brother or sister. The very thought that one of them would come into her home with a partner, have sex, and leave is a lame excuse and appears to be a lie. Doesn't it? You know she's lying, don't you?

    First, the fact that she lied to you is reason enough (in my book) to leave. Second, the fact that you, in your heart, that don't believe her and obvioulsy don't trust her is another reason to call it quits. Get out while you can.
     
  8. BruceSter

    BruceSter New Member

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    I will put myself into the queue - you can't expect a girl you broke up with to continue being faithful to you. But if you really want to get even with her for fucking another guy, invite her to your place to chat about old times or anything, and leave things like a wine glass with lipstick traces in your kitchen or living room, or panties/a pantyhose or some similar trophy on your couch - that should give her something to think about.

    Bruce
     
  9. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Bruce, maybe that's what she was doing to him! :lol:

    John, it's either because you want it to be or because she wants it to be, but it is definitely over.
     
  10. Pene_Negro_Grande

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  11. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    You guys may not be "together" offcially, but you're clearly trying to make things right between the two of you. If you honestly believe she did it, you should trust you instincts. (After all, you know her a lot better than any of us.)
    In my less-than-humble opinion, this will probably happen again. It could just be me talking, but if she did in fact cheat and lied about it, I'd be willing to wager that she would do it again if the opportunity arose. I cheated on someone I was with once, and after I did, it just opened the floodgates. Not that she will do exactly what I did, but I think, to an extent, that's just human nature.
    But in a nut shell, it doesn't sound to me like you guys are off to a good start, even IF you're just being paranoid. I'd also say move on, find someone better. If monogamy is important to you, you need to find someone who feels the same way.
     
  12. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    Nice avatar absinthium ;)

    You like anime?

    Anyway John I think you have to either deal with it and still try to patch things up or end it if you can't handle it. The girl I'm with now kissed another girl while we weren't 'together' I can handle that cos there's the possibility of a threesome hehe. But it might be different for you...I'm so drunk right now lol.
     
  13. jonb

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    If you broke up, you can't expect her to remain faithful.
     
  14. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Actually they are not completely broken up if they are trying to work on getting back together...Transition phases count too as a relationship (LOL)...Dude has every right to be pissed...It is like a slap in the face that he is the one putting all the energy into making the relationship work...
     
  15. BobLeeSwagger

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    Actually they are not completely broken up if they are trying to work on getting back together...Transition phases count too as a relationship (LOL)...Dude has every right to be pissed...It is like a slap in the face that he is the one putting all the energy into making the relationship work...
    [post=322608]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    What part of "we broke up" are people missing here? It's not being unfaithful if they're not together.

    It sounds like the real issue is that she broke up with him against his will and he's trying to blame her for everything that's gone wrong.
     
  16. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    <!--QuoteBegin-lajohn_24
    @Jun 19 2005, 02:29 PM
    It didn&#39;t work out with the girl she was dating and we decided to give us a second chance.

    So my question is: Since we&#39;re not officially back together how should i treat this issue, because right now i&#39;m extremely angry and hurt.

    PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE
    [post=322184]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]

    A few things you have to consider here...He said that they were working on getting back together...So if you are working on getting back together - is it okay to still sleep w/someone else...It appears that they are in transition phase on getting back together...It may just be me but if you are working on getting back together - you shouldn&#39;t be trying to fuck someone else...Not fair to the person who is trying to salvage the relationship...
     
  17. D_icanthearyou

    D_icanthearyou New Member

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    sorry dude... i left her. and from the sound of it, you don&#39;t know much or perhaps don&#39;t value a monogamy in a relationship. when you&#39;re in the rebuilding stage, along with it comes trust&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;
     
  18. KinkGuy

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    Well, at least whoever (whomever?) was fucking who (whom?)
    it was safer-sex.
     
  19. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Sorry dude...Probably best though...You will find someone that makes you happy and someone that values you and you can trust...Read my quote about soulmates...
     
  20. Aruba 1st

    Aruba 1st Member

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    Had a similar experience.
    As I picked her up for our date another classmate was leaving her place.
    We rode to the theater. After helping her of the pillion I noticed a gob of
    semen where her Foof had been planted. Wiped it off with a glove before
    she noticed.

    She&#39;s still "explore her sexuality".
    You&#39;re just an exploree.
    Wear condoms with this gal ALWAYS.
     
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