Getting Married!!!!!

[AlteredEgo]

You gotta be kidding me, right?

Did I put a smiley after it?

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Just curious...how would you feel if you told your girlfriend about your past and she rejected you because she thought you had too many partners?

If it was a casual relationship, I'd be upset, and feel that it really wasn't any of her business and didn't really effect our current relationship.

If we were getting married, I'd be relieved that I found out before it was too late that she did not accept who I am and that we were not entirely compatible.

 

[D_N Flay Table]

Just curious...how would you feel if you told your girlfriend about your past and she rejected you because she thought you had too many partners?

I would consider that if she cannot handle the truth that I volunteered to her then we were not meant to be together.

 

[HazelGod]

To me, it depends on your view of what marriage means.

Although I'm an atheist, I was raised Catholic and some of the institutional indoctrinations stick tenaciously...matrimonial idealism being one of them. If, like me, you believe that entering into marriage means that both people are surrendering their whole selves, unreservedly, into the union, then implicit in that understanding is the notion that ALL cards are face-up on the table.

It isn't about ownership or judging the morality of past deeds...it's about the willingness of each to openly bare their soul and say, "This is me. All of me. All that I am, and all that I have to give." It's about the willingness of each to say in turn, "I accept this gift, and love all of you as you are."

If you're contemplating marriage, then you know your partner fairly well...including a good idea of what events and details they would consider significant. Willfully failing to disclose anything that you believe might be important to your partner constitutes a betrayal. It's a lie of omission...a selfish act that insults the love your partner feels for you, and mocks the gift of themselves that they have made in good faith.

A marriage is not about one person leaving behind unpleasant parts of their past with their partner oblivious. It's about BOTH people coming together and leaving their individual selves behind and moving forward as a new entity together. If you aren't willing to give all of yourself to another person, then you shouldn't even be thinking of getting married.

 

[invisibleman]

Here is a hypothetical for y'all.


Lets say you meet the person of your dreams!
You are deeply in love and ask the person to get married to you,
they accept.
you love their family, and their family loves you.
Your parents think he/she is the cats meow, the bee's knees.

They are your soul mate.

then about a month before the big day, you are surfing around on the internet...
and you find something like this.. BANG!

And you see that the love of your life was the star in something like that.

they never mentioned it to you...

what do you do?

do you confront them on it?

do you just let it go?

do you split?

what do you do?


DJGIZZLE

Well, man. It IS possible you fell in love with the wrong person. She could've brought it up.

 

[biguy2738]

To me, it depends on your view of what marriage means.

Although I'm an atheist, I was raised Catholic and some of the institutional indoctrinations stick tenaciously...matrimonial idealism being one of them. If, like me, you believe that entering into marriage means that both people are surrendering their whole selves, unreservedly, into the union, then implicit in that understanding is the notion that ALL cards are face-up on the table.

It isn't about ownership or judging the morality of past deeds...it's about the willingness of each to openly bare their soul and say, "This is me. All of me. All that I am, and all that I have to give." It's about the willingness of each to say in turn, "I accept this gift, and love all of you as you are."

If you're contemplating marriage, then you know your partner fairly well...including a good idea of what events and details they would consider significant. Willfully failing to disclose anything that you believe might be important to your partner constitutes a betrayal. It's a lie of omission...a selfish act that insults the love your partner feels for you, and mocks the gift of themselves that they have made in good faith.

A marriage is not about one person leaving behind unpleasant parts of their past with their partner oblivious. It's about BOTH people coming together and leaving their individual selves behind and moving forward as a new entity together. If you aren't willing to give all of yourself to another person, then you shouldn't even be thinking of getting married.

Hazelgod, this post is extremely beautiful. You've expressed my feelings about marriage in a manner that has me completely floored. Thank you!