Getting my girlfriend to orgasm

D_Montagu_Udderpuller

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So im in a weird situation, but basically im having trouble getting my gf to cum. Partially its the positions she likes that make me cum faster and stuff like that, but plenty of times have i finished and she said she was really close. Needless to say, i felt bad and its gotten to the point where she has had multiple conversations with me about how she feels im not really trying in that department, and its hurting our relationship (especially if shes in a bad enough mood). We have some toys but my living situation kind of prevents me from being able to use them with her due to noise. She asks for more foreplay and things like that, and i oblige but it gets to the point where we always end up banging (partially my fault). Any advice on how to keep it going/stay up/last longer? And/or positions/things to try? I really want to get her there and melt away all her frustrations, any help is appreciated, thanks.
 

HiddenLacey

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I think she is understandably upset. Think of it this way... what if you had sex with her and she orgasmed and was done... you're the one left hanging all the time... how would it feel? Think about it for a bit. The sex would really start to suck. If she is having multiple conversations with you about it, she's letting you know this is an issue for her.

Just because you're finished doesn't mean she is. You could still make an effort after you orgasm or make more of an effort before you have intercourse to get her where she needs to be. Unfortunately many women take a bit to reach orgasm, keeping your partner sexually happy is very important to the health of your relationship.

I can't really advise you on positions if she's telling you what really works for her. Listen to her :) That's the best thing you can do.
 

AlteredEgo

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Your girl has already given you the answer. Do not move on to sex from foreplay until you get her off. When you masturbate, practice edging until you learn increased control of your orgasms. Refrain from pressuring her to come. Nothing delays my orgasm like a man constantly asking me if I'm close, or demanding that I come for him. Like Laidey says, don't be afraid to do something additional for her after you've climaxed. I LOVE getting fingered really hard after my partner comes if I'm close to orgasm.
 

pcghabsy

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You just need to be more patient. I understand it is very tempting to cut foreplay short, but extend it till she has orgasmed. Also, remember, just because you cum doesn't mean that's the end of that. Let's call it postplay. Of course, if you have a reasonable refractory period you can go for a second round as well.

In short, your penis is not the end-all of sex. There are many ways to extend your session. Don't stop till she is done.
 

bxison

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You may not be into this, but smoking pot before sex makes you last forever and makes it feel better too.
 

Frenum173

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One thing to try is after y'all start intercorse about 5 mins into it stop and go down on her this will give you a break and make her super excited. I like to stop and leave it in and have a minute or two make out session then pick back up where I left off... Good luck hope it works out for you
 

Eric_8

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perhaps it isn't as common sense as it seems, but why not just go again after you cum? Take a few minutes (or however long), go down on her, do whatever other sort of foreplay y'all enjoy, and have another crack at it.

If at first you don't succeed, pick yourself up and try again!
 

MickeyLee

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y'all both need to work on this together.
good or bad, sex takes two *or more* people.
to get to better sex is gonna take the same number of folks.

ya need to not jump into PIV so quickly.
she needs to communicate to you what is takes to get her off.
not just telling you that she was close, and you came too soon for her.

cuz, really.. it's not your job to get her off.
shifting all the blame on to your shoulders/peen isn't fair or productive.
if she can masturbate to orgasm, there isn't a reason she can't stimulate herself to orgasm during PIV. is it more fun to have orgasms just happen during the course of nekkid-time? yes, totally. but if ain't happening, it ain't gonna happen.

you need to pay attention to her. start to look for cues of her impending orgasm, when you do something she really likes. will work on two levels, one ya will learn what you need to do to help her get her orgasm, and focusing on something other than orgasm might slow down your proceedings. same with the advice on edging and pre-prime time wank... will take some of the urgency out of sex/orgasm.

eta: something else ya said "if she's in a bad enough mood"... are y'all having issues out side the nookie-dome?
 
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Phil Ayesho

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More foreplay would be great... but if you are young, you probably are going to have a quick trigger.... just the biological fact.

You can try a very low dose of Cialis.... 5mg or so.

Cialis not only makes your erection more persistent... but about 2/3s of users report that it makes orgasm more difficult... i.e. requiring more and longer simulation to get off.

The good thing is that once you take it... its effect kicks in about 1 to 2 hours... and lasts about a day and a half.... so its something you can take, and then relax about the actual timing of the event.
 

MickeyLee

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urm, young men shouldn't take any "enhancement" drug on a recreational basis.
can lead to actual erectile/sexual dysfunction.
 

B_Evie

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Pay attention to her clit all the time and vary what you are doing during foreplay so that she doesn't get numbed out. Try watching some amateur female masturbation videos so that you can get a good idea of how we play with ourselves and practice what you've learned from them. Maybe the two of you can masturbate together? SO HOT!

Tell her how beautiful she is and that you love her body while playing with it. We can be very insecure about ourselves at times.

After you cum in her, go down on her again. That always makes me fly.

Buy a cock ring and wear it. There are some that vibrate quietly and have a clit stimulator. They help you last a while longer.

The next time you have sex, I would also suggest that you don't cum until she does. No matter what.
 

THEDUDEofDestiny

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So im in a weird situation, but basically im having trouble getting my gf to cum. Partially its the positions she likes that make me cum faster and stuff like that, but plenty of times have i finished and she said she was really close. Needless to say, i felt bad and its gotten to the point where she has had multiple conversations with me about how she feels im not really trying in that department, and its hurting our relationship (especially if shes in a bad enough mood). We have some toys but my living situation kind of prevents me from being able to use them with her due to noise. She asks for more foreplay and things like that, and i oblige but it gets to the point where we always end up banging (partially my fault). Any advice on how to keep it going/stay up/last longer? And/or positions/things to try? I really want to get her there and melt away all her frustrations, any help is appreciated, thanks.


you answered your own question. take your time with the foreplay and tease her a lot. dont go straight for the clit. work up to it. then work up to the g spot but keep the clit in mind. notice what she responds to and do that. when you feel her start to spasm increase the force. when she has cum a few times move up and stick your dick in. problem solved. additionally she will be well lubricated when you fuck her.
 

MickeyLee

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if some random on a website was all "yeah, a combination of high blood pressure and cholesterol will help delay ejaculation... ya really need to start smoking cigs, and eating pork rinds... oh, while tox-ing out your body, throw in booze.. whiskey dick never cums"


then, yes, i would say pretty much the same thing.. is a really bad idea.

young persons, one day you will be 60, everything you do now, you will feel in ache/pains/ailments then. take care of your flesh.
 

MrGoodDate

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I had a girlfriend,, a single mother, 42, and we shared great sex, but she had never had an orgasm. It took us nearly two years for her to finally have a cumm. After that cumms were rare but they did happen. Our times together were fantastic and she loved all the nice things I did to her body.
Seems to me some women , for whatever reason, rarely cumm.
 
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Take the initiative...pull out the vibe or dildo from under the bed or dresser drawer. Place it in near or upon her stomach and ask her if she would like to cum. If you have none then buy her/youzz one. Do not feel intimidated by doing this. Use your tongue or fingers while she massages her clit. Sometimes the pleasure of being filled while stimulating her clit can have some very nice consequences.... :) :) Sex is about fun and pleasure, just enjoy it.