getting off

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by hairyman101, Nov 3, 2011.

  1. hairyman101

    hairyman101 New Member

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    I get ready for a jackoff session. my cock is hard and the porn is on. i have the lube and ready to start..........then.............i lose the feeling of getting off. deep down inside i want to cum......but on the outside i would rather not. what is wrong???? is it doctor time?????
     
  2. hairyman101

    hairyman101 New Member

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    i figured this would be over the top of your heads. or no one gives a damn about a question that i ask.
     
  3. B_Hornaplenty

    B_Hornaplenty New Member

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    You are probably wrong with both of those assumptions. Your questions are not easy to answer. Different persons have different responses to erotic urges. Maybe no one has experienced what you speak of, or those who might have, did not see your posting. Personally I do some of the same preparation you do prior to masturbating, but in my case I get progressively more turned on and when I'm naked with an amazing erection in my hand I don't back down...I savor every moment right up to orgasm. I don't think you are necessarily ready for a trip to the doctor, but you may need better concentration. Some sort of hang-up is taking over at the last minute creating a mental block. Do you feel guilty without a partner, does it take you too long to cum, are you fearful of being caught in the act? Just throw caution to the wind, get a grip on that fine penis of yours, and go for it. Its what your genitals are supposed to do. Good luck next time around.
     
  4. Frodo46888

    Frodo46888 Active Member

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    If you have no trouble becoming erect, the problem is likely more psychological, and Hornaplenty poses some good questions to ask yourself. There are certain images, scenarios and roles that I play in my mind to get aroused, so you need to determine what works more reliably for you. And for me, a full bladder is a great stimulator, though for others it has the opposite effect.

    It sounds like you have a routine, and it may have become boring. Try something different. Not every session needs to end in a dramatic cum, so don't put yourself under that kind of pressure. Performance anxiety is a major cum-kill!
     
  5. BIGMIKE

    BIGMIKE Member

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    Actually, I know EXACTLY what hairy man is talking about, I am dealing with the same thing, but in a different way. I just got married 4 weeks this Saturday. The first time me and my wife had sex, it was great!! The next night, the same thing happened!! Well, ever since the first 2 days, we have been going at it pretty much everyday and I only came only like every other session. We really start getting hot and hevy in our love making and I've been SUPER turned on but it just won't happen! While we are doing it, I can feel it build up, and I am sure it's gonna happen, then the feeling goes away! This will happen more often than not. She keeps feeling like it's her fault, or she's doing something wrong and I can honetly say that it's NOT her!! I am on a couple different pain medications, an anti-depressant. I also have severe siatica and a bad disk Im not ruling them out but I still would like other input so I can get other ideas. Thanks everyone!!
     
  6. hairyman101

    hairyman101 New Member

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    thats it!!!!!!! thats what i feel. i have lost the fantasy part of jacking off. i watch so much porn....i have seen everything. thanks for the comments.
     
  7. Frodo46888

    Frodo46888 Active Member

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    Big Mike, pain meds and antidepressants commonly interfere with libido and performance. Perhaps your doctor can recommend a change in meds that won't affect you as much.

    Hairyman, I suppose relying too much on porn could be part of your problem. I think most porn videos are pretty similar, so you may need to tap your own imagination for more varied stimulation. Also, shop around on the Net for more of those special little kinks that turn you on. And, of course, there's nothing quite like a real, warm partner!
     
  8. erratic

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    If only more doctors would tell their patients about the sexual side-effects of the meds they prescribe.

    Many pain medications and anti-depressants have sexual side-effects, from reduced libido, to erectile dysfunction, to sensation loss (not permanent, as far as I know, but there while you're taking the medication), to difficulty orgasming.

    hairyman, you might want to consider what medications you are taking. You may also want to take a look at how much sleep you're getting and how much stress you're under. All of those things can affect your libido. While most sexual dysfunction is psychogenic, it's important to rule out physiological and environmental reasons as well.

    And Bigmike, just keep telling your wife that you love the sex you're having and that it's not her fault. Keep on-message. When she sees that you've a) got it sorted out, and/or b) don't care that you orgasm as long as you're having great sex, it'll be a great growth experience for you both.
     
    #8 erratic, Nov 5, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2011
  9. svrocks

    svrocks Well-Known Member

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    I think I sort of know the feeling. I sometimes get as far as stroking for ten minutes before realising/deciding I'm not really in the mood to get off. The dick is hard and all but stroking it somehow doesn't feel right at the time. I just give up, get dressed and go do something else. No second thought given.
     
  10. rjp1346

    Verified

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    Sex is 80% in the mind and 20% physical. Let your mind wonder and create the porn in your mind. Cumming is not the finale of sex but just part of it. Explore your whole body and mind.
     
  11. thadjock

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    several thoughts:

    A) did u not have sex with your wife until you were married ?

    2) i'm impressed you can even have sex, psych meds, pain meds, bad disk, sciatica....makes me think of Letterman's perennial sex joke which always has the same punch line....a complicated system of ropes and pulleys.

    C) if 4 wks is your baseline, you don't have any way of knowing if there's something wrong, you need to give it at least a year, this might just be your "normal"
     
  12. D_HKx4ztc

    D_HKx4ztc New Member

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    SERIOUSLY man you need to stop thinking about it. The more you worry about this the worse it's going to get. lie back and enjoy it! If you keep worrying about whether or not you're going to cum, you won't cum. Then next time it'll be worse. And if you don't cum, no big deal. Just say you still really enjoyed it.
    Although it's probably a bad sign that you're 4 weeks married and checking stuff out on this site...
     
  13. hairyversmuscle

    hairyversmuscle Well-Known Member

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    I will admit that recently I have taken a dip in sex drive, cumming is no longer a huge deal for me when I have sex either. As for the guy who is recently married: If you want to help your wife, maybe you go down on her a bit when you start to lose that sensation that way she won't get upset thinking she is a turn off to you.

    On to the OP: About a month ago, I was in bed, and started playing my cock before fell asleep. I ended up dry rubbing out a load. No lube, no porn, just my own imagination and it turned out to be one of the hottest jack off sessions I have had in a while! Sort of like when I was in high school and internet wasn't invented and no one told me about lube! Switch it up a bit and see
     
  14. cafeo

    cafeo Active Member

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    I have the same feeling sometimes.
    I think it's because I don't want it to end, so I prefer to stop masturbating and start again the next day. Doing so I feel like I have a goal. I have something to think about.
     
  15. chaz7491

    chaz7491 Member

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    First of all don't panic. I am 63 and have clinical depression and a family history of bp problems. My GP and psych have me on some meds that keep me stabilized but have bad side effects. I thot that I had lost all interest in sex. I had my usual great rock hard erections but just could not cross over to climax and ejaculate easily.
    I found that even over the counter meds (tylenol, alleve, etc.) can cause some problems with getting a climax.
    I have found that:
    1. I need to stretch the time between taking meds and having sex. Take them at night = then sex the following night before taking the next dose.
    2. I need more stimulation from my partner than before and so I ask for what I need.
    3. I need a little more visual stimulation (pics or vids or the actual person) now than I did before.
    4. I need to physically stimulate myself more than I used to.
    5. I need to let go of the idea I must have an orgasm every time. The mind does not always allow that to happen but don't work at it so hard as that really defeats the climax.
    6. I have learned to let things progress and focus on the enjoyment of the moment and let it build.
    7. Relax and your sex life will come back to what it will be.
     
  16. B_rzl

    B_rzl New Member

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    i know that feeling, like someone said, its only 20% physical. those josessions are 100% 20% physical, you just want to empty your balls, no feelings involved. your cock will feel tingly after youve came and probably be reddish. theres nothing wrong, you just know its time to whack it off but you are not into it with your mind. tomorrow all will be fine.
     
  17. MarkLondon

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    My thoughts:

    1. Anti-depressants are notorious for causing anorgasmia (no loss of libido, or function, just cannot cum).

    2. Sex is ultimately about interacting with other people. Porn and lube doesn't do that. There's nothing like having another person getting all wet over you.
     
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