Getting older in gay society: becoming a 'daddy'

[EquusAZ]

I've been experiencing a 'new' phenomenon lately, and I have to say its just started in the last year or so. Maybe its the fact that the grey in my hair is really becoming prevalent (still pretty youthful looking) or its the fact I'm the right 'age' (about to turn 41). Regardless I find it odd that its sort of 'snuck up' on me.

Background: I've been a pretty average guy for a long time. Never really looked my age (smooth lines and such) until I had an accident at age 36 and gained some facial scarring. Went from being someone people thought was 24, to my real age overnight. I didn't complain really. It was nice to not be carded anymore. Maybe people thought that since I'd had a 'rough life' I didn't need the added hassle of getting out my ID for beer.

Went through a divorce, etc. Only recently have I been engaging guys and being more social. More so online however, but that doesn't necessarily carry the same stigma it did fifteen years ago (i.e. just a nerd fooling around with the interwebs).

Well, a couple of guys I've chatted with (one my age, two in their mid 20's) have referred to me as a 'Daddy.' I brushed it off. I mean, really. I'm only 41. How could anyone view me as such? Then while out with some friends at a social event, one of the younger men I was hanging around referred to me as such to another friend. Since then I've been called as such a lot more and find myself the recipient of the attention of much younger men. I.e. people who I REALLY could legitimately be called daddy by. 18-22yo.

Talk about a shocker.

What seems to be even more shocking is I get more attention now than I ever did, and just for this reason. I'm called mature, stable, silver, sexy, masculine.

Same guy - just more grey.

WTF?

I mean I enjoy it - just never thought the term Daddy would refer to me.

Anyone else experience this? How do you adjust?

 

[shard38]

I've encountered exactly what you're describing. Especially online contacts have been calling me "daddy" lately. Most of them want me to act wise and be dominant to them. It's quite strange, because I am used to dating younger guys but up till now they saw me as an equal. It made me actually feel younger and now it's suddenly like they want me to be older. All the attention is nice, but most of the time I'm struggling with the dominance issue and of course the word "daddy" itself. I'm not a dad nor do I ever want to be one.

 

[deleted37010]

just an old queen's take:
if someone half your age is talking to you... literally daddy could apply..... setting that aside....
any top who is over 35 and well-hung is an instant "daddy" because we queens are needy and mostly size queen bottoms... LOL

what we say vs real gay world translations
i'm a top = i'm verse but secretly love to bottom... if he's hung
i'm verse = i'm a bottom unless i have to top... because he's not hung
i'm a bottom = the only truth teller

there are size queens... and there are liars

 

[Otep]

To be honest, I've seen people refer to anyone who is masculine, attractive, and hairy/scruffy as "daddy". There are people in their mid twenties being called "daddy" by 19 year olds on Tumblr all the time. From my experience, it's kind of lost its meaning, though my friend and I still use the term in its more traditional sense.

 

[Hairylegs]

Just be grateful that you're alive, and woke up on the right side of the grass. Do you REALLY want to be a post pubescent twink all your life? I mean, it has its moments, but really. You are who and what you are. Not what you think someone pretends you are. Merry Christmas.

 

[EquusAZ]

Just be grateful that you're alive, and woke up on the right side of the grass. Do you REALLY want to be a post pubescent twink all your life? I mean, it has its moments, but really. You are who and what you are. Not what you think someone pretends you are. Merry Christmas.

lol - no absolutely not. I'm just surprised it happened within a few months. *Shrug* I happen to be a pretty masculine top, though physically I'm a "smaller" guy. 5'9" 160#. Pretty much NOT the average "daddy" build I think may be more what I'm surprised about. Just never thought I'd be called as such.

I'll take anything really (as long as it's positive)

 

[EquusAZ]

just an old queen's take:
if someone half your age is talking to you... literally daddy could apply..... setting that aside....
any top who is over 35 and well-hung is an instant "daddy" because we queens are needy and mostly size queen bottoms... LOL

what we say vs real gay world translations
i'm a top = i'm verse but secretly love to bottom... if he's hung
i'm verse = i'm a bottom unless i have to top... because he's not hung
i'm a bottom = the only truth teller

there are size queens... and there are liars

ROFL - VERY true statement. I never deny that I will bottom for the right guy - and I enjoy it.

But yeah also interesting point

How to Make A Daddy
1 Male
1 Cock Large

Attach cock (large) to male, and let mature to age 35.
Goes well with a side of masculinity.

Serves: no one.

 

[Galloper]

Maybe you should see it as just a compliment

 

[766055]

Im 44. Fat and ugly (in my eyes)
Noone call me a daddy -
Actually - noone call me ...
My hair is grayish like poppy seed.
I have an average cock.
Something Im doing wrong I guess
You should take this "Daddy" label as a compliment

 

[deleted1036351]

Talk

I am 56 now and although I have had a very healthy, active gay sex life, I now find that younger men are attracted to me. Having online cyber sex with a 41 year old, he calls me daddy and I call him son, and never had cyber like this before. I guess the attention fills my ego as I age and various things start to hurt and such, That you look in the mirror and don't think you would even hit on a guy that old looking. And suddenly a 20 something wants to chat with you, compliments you, and you don't have to be seduced, you end up in lust with him. However always being careful for some scam that some one wants to play on you.
If this is what being a Daddy is, I just wish I had been one sooner

 

[328982]

Im 44. Fat and ugly (in my eyes)
Noone call me a daddy -
Actually - noone call me ...
My hair is grayish like poppy seed.
I have an average cock.
Something Im doing wrong I guess
You should take this "Daddy" label as a compliment

"Like poppy seed" is rather poetic. Your cock is rather big. You have a nice physique. Give it another decade and you'll be top 'daddy'.

 

[Heat]

I am 56 now and although I have had a very healthy, active gay sex life, I now find that younger men are attracted to me. Having online cyber sex with a 41 year old, he calls me daddy and I call him son, and never had cyber like this before. I guess the attention fills my ego as I age and various things start to hurt and such, That you look in the mirror and don't think you would even hit on a guy that old looking. And suddenly a 20 something wants to chat with you, compliments you, and you don't have to be seduced, you end up in lust with him. However always being careful for some scam that some one wants to play on you.
If this is what being a Daddy is, I just wish I had been one sooner

It is amazing how many younger guys are into or don't mind at all getting naked with older guys. Have had some smokin' hot times with younger guys in the last 5 to 10 years.

 

[Heat]

"Like poppy seed" is rather poetic. Your cock is rather big. You have a nice physique. Give it another decade and you'll be top 'daddy'.

There's a lid for every pot. And with a cock like yours, lots of men of all ages would love to play.

 

[Heat]

I've been experiencing a 'new' phenomenon lately, and I have to say its just started in the last year or so. Maybe its the fact that the grey in my hair is really becoming prevalent (still pretty youthful looking) or its the fact I'm the right 'age' (about to turn 41). Regardless I find it odd that its sort of 'snuck up' on me.

Background: I've been a pretty average guy for a long time. Never really looked my age (smooth lines and such) until I had an accident at age 36 and gained some facial scarring. Went from being someone people thought was 24, to my real age overnight. I didn't complain really. It was nice to not be carded anymore. Maybe people thought that since I'd had a 'rough life' I didn't need the added hassle of getting out my ID for beer.

Went through a divorce, etc. Only recently have I been engaging guys and being more social. More so online however, but that doesn't necessarily carry the same stigma it did fifteen years ago (i.e. just a nerd fooling around with the interwebs).

Well, a couple of guys I've chatted with (one my age, two in their mid 20's) have referred to me as a 'Daddy.' I brushed it off. I mean, really. I'm only 41. How could anyone view me as such? Then while out with some friends at a social event, one of the younger men I was hanging around referred to me as such to another friend. Since then I've been called as such a lot more and find myself the recipient of the attention of much younger men. I.e. people who I REALLY could legitimately be called daddy by. 18-22yo.

Talk about a shocker.

What seems to be even more shocking is I get more attention now than I ever did, and just for this reason. I'm called mature, stable, silver, sexy, masculine.

Same guy - just more grey.

WTF?

I mean I enjoy it - just never thought the term Daddy would refer to me.

Anyone else experience this? How do you adjust?

The same thing happened to me when I turned 40'ish, even though I looked really young compared to others my age at the time. I think it's something that clicks within you the cues to younger guys that you're "a Daddy." Embrace it, because it can be the hottest time of your life sexually because you can bridge a lot of different ages -- from "just legal" to older, if you're so inclined. I've never been age discriminatory, and in fact played almost exclusively with older guys until my 40s. Then "it" happened and I started getting my dick wet quite often, with a range of ages. Hot times ahead for you...enjoy it.

 

[CUBE]

I get the daddy thing from guys. Great to hit 50 and still get attention. Daddy isn't just age. A guy can be young and be a daddy to older if that is there chemistry

 

[EquusAZ]

The same thing happened to me when I turned 40'ish, even though I looked really young compared to others my age at the time. I think it's something that clicks within you the cues to younger guys that you're "a Daddy." Embrace it, because it can be the hottest time of your life sexually because you can bridge a lot of different ages -- from "just legal" to older, if you're so inclined. I've never been age discriminatory, and in fact played almost exclusively with older guys until my 40s. Then "it" happened and I started getting my dick wet quite often, with a range of ages. Hot times ahead for you...enjoy it.

Thanks! Yeah this is the odd part. Just average - normal guy - then BAM. Uh..whut? What do you mean I'm hot?

It HAS to be personality based. All of a sudden its attraction from all ages really - not just 20yos (not that I am complaining about THAT - but still).

One is an awesome guy from the UK. I view him as my boy as he's really caused me to embrace this part of me.

*blushes but raises chin*

I ah - did something 'sweet' for him.
Went out bought a jock strap, wrote his name on it, and promised him I'd wear it for a while before sending it to him as a present.

He loved it.

I'm so hot over it yet slightly confused at the times. Working it out - just - why did this happen at 40 almost 41!? Why not 25?

 

[deleted871301]

I'll be 50 in 4 months time and i'm nobody's Daddy!

 

[622675]

Thanks! Yeah this is the odd part. Just average - normal guy - then BAM. Uh..whut? What do you mean I'm hot?

It HAS to be personality based. All of a sudden its attraction from all ages really - not just 20yos (not that I am complaining about THAT - but still).

One is an awesome guy from the UK. I view him as my boy as he's really caused me to embrace this part of me.

*blushes but raises chin*

I ah - did something 'sweet' for him.
Went out bought a jock strap, wrote his name on it, and promised him I'd wear it for a while before sending it to him as a present.

He loved it.

I'm so hot over it yet slightly confused at the times. Working it out - just - why did this happen at 40 almost 41!? Why not 25?

For better or worse younger guys (according to their view of themselves) no longer consider you as the competition.

In their new relationship with you, they see themselves as owning the popular attributes of youth. You own authority and experience together with a mature body. You both share a compelling sexual appetite.

You guys are no longer competing, but may actually be looking for ways to complete the other person’s needs. For many this is the kind of relationship they have always been looking for.

 

[evolution]

Thanks! Yeah this is the odd part. Just average - normal guy - then BAM. Uh..whut? What do you mean I'm hot?

It HAS to be personality based. All of a sudden its attraction from all ages really - not just 20yos (not that I am complaining about THAT - but still).

I'm so hot over it yet slightly confused at the times. Working it out - just - why did this happen at 40 almost 41!? Why not 25?

I think a lot of it is personality, you reach a certain maturity & express a certain confidence in the knowledge you have, you seem to be someone with answers/knowledge/confidence.... At least that's what I'm telling myself - LOL.
I'm 26 years old until I see that "Daddy" looking at me from a looking glass; danged reality check.

 

[EquusAZ]

For better or worse younger guys (according to their view of themselves) no longer consider you as the competition.

In their new relationship with you, they see themselves as owning the popular attributes of youth. You own authority and experience together with a mature body. You both share a compelling sexual appetite.

You guys are no longer competing, but may actually be looking for ways to complete the other person’s needs. For many this is the kind of relationship they have always been looking for.

Hrm - valid point, and one that actually made me stop and think. You MAY be right.