Getting out of a speeding ticket

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by D_Barbi_Queue, Mar 1, 2005.

  1. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

    Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding

    Older Woman: Oh, I see.

    Officer: Can I see your license please?

    Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

    Officer: Don't have one

    Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

    Older Woman: I can't do that.

    Officer: Why not?

    Older Woman: I stole this car.

    Officer: Stole it?

    Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

    Officer: You what?

    Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

    Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am

    Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

    Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
     
  2. philberttrw

    philberttrw New Member

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    OMG, TAG! That's A W E S O M E!

    ...Your jokes are as good as you are hot ;)
     
  3. dancinfool

    Verified Gold Member

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    that made me laguh a lot.

    especially since i got pulled over on sunday and the cop randomly decided to NOT give me a ticket... i was going 23 miles above the speed limit... oops! :evilgrin:

    haha, that would have been a great true story.... maybe i'll use it in the future.... lol
     
  4. jeepwranglerboi

    jeepwranglerboi New Member

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    That is too funny! I love it and I can't wait to tell it to my cohorts today! :lol:
     
  5. txquis

    Gold Member

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    where did jeeps pic go?
    :(
     
  6. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    it's still there. Just hit your "refresh" button. It's been disappearing on me every now and then as well.
     
  7. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    That sounds like something my great-grandma would do! Shes 100 and still lives on her own, refusing any nursing home, were trying but she's fighting with a vengance! She's one of those feisty old people you can't help but love!

    And about the pictures disappearing, almost everyones pics are a broken image for me too, Nixxy, DMW, and JWB to name a couple, and there are a few others too. Maybe a servers down somewhere.
     
  8. nakedwally

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