Hello all.
I am going to write a little bit about something that I'm experiencing. I know I am not the first to go through it, but I really wanted to write it down...
tl;dr: My ex tends to pop up into my mind, even 3.5 years after the break up.
I dated my ex for nearly 3 years. Our relationship was pretty great from the start until the end, with no fights and very little argues. We would always talk openly about things that dwell inside and not let them turn into something ugly. Really, dating him was a very positive experience for me, and he was pretty much my only long-term boyfriend (before him it was 7 months with a terrible guy).
Despite our relationship being all colorful, there was one conversation we always got back to - falling in love, feeling a spark.
I don't know if I fell in love with him, but I did have strong feelings for him and that was all that mattered for me.
He, however, felt that he loved me, but never fell in love with me. Something inside him always felt that it was missing, and it made him feel very bad that he might hurt me because of that. Whenever we had those conversations, he'd cry his heart out and I would become quite emotionless for a few minutes, until I get back to myself, hug him and calm him down. The emotionless part is mainly because it offended me.
The decision to break up came from me.
I felt that these feeling he had had were really in the way.
For example, I wanted to move in together, and he didn't, worrying 'what would happen if we break up'.
Or that time he didn't even think to bring up his friend's marriage ceremony and went alone (I was okay with him going alone, but he didn't feel it was right to share it with me beforehand, especially since I knew that friend).
I felt he didn't see us the same way I did. From my point of view, it could last much longer. From his point of view, it felt like it was bound to end at some point (he believed that about relationships in general and always wondered how his parents stick together).
When I started the break up talk, he immediately realized what was going on and I think he was quite relieved it happened (he cried a lot and for days he would compare it to death of a close one).
We never stopped talking officially, but we do not send messages. He wished me a happy birthday in my last one, and I wished him, but other than that I haven't spoken to or seen him in a long time.
Yet, he pops into my mind every now and then. For instance, I started playing some video games, and I knew he liked them, so I wonder what he would have thought of it, or I bring him up sometimes when something reminds me of him, and many small stuff like that.
I can't say I miss him... I think I miss the bond we had, but ever since the break up, I really have no power to start over with new people. Kind of apathetic to dates.
Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to write down my feelings... maybe some of you experienced the same and can share your thoughts.
Just to finish optimistically: I believe I will find a guy and that all will be the past. I am a cute guy, in and out, just need to get over the obstacle that's in front of me.
I am going to write a little bit about something that I'm experiencing. I know I am not the first to go through it, but I really wanted to write it down...
tl;dr: My ex tends to pop up into my mind, even 3.5 years after the break up.
I dated my ex for nearly 3 years. Our relationship was pretty great from the start until the end, with no fights and very little argues. We would always talk openly about things that dwell inside and not let them turn into something ugly. Really, dating him was a very positive experience for me, and he was pretty much my only long-term boyfriend (before him it was 7 months with a terrible guy).
Despite our relationship being all colorful, there was one conversation we always got back to - falling in love, feeling a spark.
I don't know if I fell in love with him, but I did have strong feelings for him and that was all that mattered for me.
He, however, felt that he loved me, but never fell in love with me. Something inside him always felt that it was missing, and it made him feel very bad that he might hurt me because of that. Whenever we had those conversations, he'd cry his heart out and I would become quite emotionless for a few minutes, until I get back to myself, hug him and calm him down. The emotionless part is mainly because it offended me.
The decision to break up came from me.
I felt that these feeling he had had were really in the way.
For example, I wanted to move in together, and he didn't, worrying 'what would happen if we break up'.
Or that time he didn't even think to bring up his friend's marriage ceremony and went alone (I was okay with him going alone, but he didn't feel it was right to share it with me beforehand, especially since I knew that friend).
I felt he didn't see us the same way I did. From my point of view, it could last much longer. From his point of view, it felt like it was bound to end at some point (he believed that about relationships in general and always wondered how his parents stick together).
When I started the break up talk, he immediately realized what was going on and I think he was quite relieved it happened (he cried a lot and for days he would compare it to death of a close one).
We never stopped talking officially, but we do not send messages. He wished me a happy birthday in my last one, and I wished him, but other than that I haven't spoken to or seen him in a long time.
Yet, he pops into my mind every now and then. For instance, I started playing some video games, and I knew he liked them, so I wonder what he would have thought of it, or I bring him up sometimes when something reminds me of him, and many small stuff like that.
I can't say I miss him... I think I miss the bond we had, but ever since the break up, I really have no power to start over with new people. Kind of apathetic to dates.
Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to write down my feelings... maybe some of you experienced the same and can share your thoughts.
Just to finish optimistically: I believe I will find a guy and that all will be the past. I am a cute guy, in and out, just need to get over the obstacle that's in front of me.