Getting Over Ex By Being A Slut?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Incocknito, Jan 26, 2009.

  1. Incocknito

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    Well following on from my earlier thread, the girl decided to get over her ex by being a slut and 'seeing' my sister's ex boyfriend and his mate...

    I wouldn't mind but she said she would never date anyone that young (7 years younger than her). And I'm so much better than them.

    Just venting.

    Anyone want to express a similar story. Shocking really. And a shame. The lads round here are arseholes, especially the two she's seeing and she knows that...

    Girls is weird.
     
  2. BiItalianBro

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    That sucks man...sorry to hear about it. But in the end, you cant help that she has no respect for herself or others.
     
  3. B_625girth

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    she's not the first or the last. years ago after a break up, the gal went on to fuck several guys over the next 2 months. I was only her second lover, and knew she wanted to play the field. I pined for awhile after the break up, and wasn't interested in investing in a relationship to get laid.

    after about 6 weeks, I looked up gal in a nearby city, our relationship had been based on sex primarily. she initially turned down my advances and my admission I was just there to get laid. when I went to leave and was starting my car, she came out and tugged me back inside.

    in the morning when I left, the "wood" was gone, replaced by a swollen, sore cock.
     
  4. AlteredEgo

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    Slut is such an ugly word. You're only using it because you wish you were the only one, but you were not bold enough to tell her so from the beginning. You're jealous.

    She's not dating them. She's fucking them; let's be clear. You're not necessarily better than they. It would depend upon that for which she is looking, wouldn't it?

    Well that makes it easier not to get too attached when she's not ready to date, doesn't it?

    That's kind of a harsh judgment. I bet she has plenty of respect for herself, and others. He's not her boyfriend, she never told him he was either. It seems to me he chose to believe they were going to be an exclusive couple because there were physiological signs that she likes him, and because she says she likes him. So she likes him. That doesn't automatically mean she wants to be his girlfriend to the exclusion of all others. They each assumed they were both on the same page. They are poor communicators, but that's no crime. It's pretty common.

    After a particularly bad breakup, I remember I was still very much interested in sex, but not interested in having any men make promises to me. I met lot of really hot, smart, fun guys, and I fucked most of them. I made out with all of them. I snuggled with all of them too. I made it clear that I was really just interested in friendship and sex. I got very, very close to two of them, and probably had the same dilated pupils as your friend. I liked all of the dudes I saw a lot. I liked some way more than I liked others. The bottom line though, was I wanted a man available to me when I wanted a man, so I kept a constant rotation of three or four. If one is busy, there was always another. However, I had a firm policy of making my intentions very clear, and having a man make his clear too.

    Let this experience be a lesson to you. Don't look for signs of her feelings. Ask her how she feels and what she wants. Ask. And also tell your feelings and intentions too.
     
  5. Incocknito

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    Its not that I'm jealous I just am sorry for her. I am not boasting but I am a much better person and would have treated her much better than the other "boys".

    Its like a bad soap opera here. Everyone is shagging everyone else and knows their business, I hate it. I used to think soaps weren't true to life but it appears they are.

    Sadly as I have just discussed with a friend, there's no way I could have a relationship with her after my sister's ex and this other guy have been there.

    Furthermore, I found out that some girls send out circular texts eg 'how r u xxx' which they send to every guy theyre interested in...I received some of those. Pretty shocked really as I thought she was a nice girl and genuinely interested in me.

    I'm just glad I advised that we stop seeing each other early on to avoid any embarrassment due to these recent developments.
     
  6. AlteredEgo

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    Why should you be sorry for her? She's getting what she wants. I don't buy it anyway. We usually say sympathetic things when we feel sorry for someone, not call them mean names. I still think you're just jealous, and hurt that you didn't get what you want.

    Interestingly, it's not an option. She doesn't want a "relationship" with you unless it's mostly physical.

    As I said, you need to stop making assumptions based on your own feelings. You need to ask questions, and let women know what you expect. You might have been spared early on if you'd just asked her to be more specific regarding what she wanted from you. She probably does really like you. But your timing is way off, and she wants to play the field for a while, and distract herself from her emotional pain with some excellent sex.
     
  7. Incocknito

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    No, I said if she wants me she has my number and that I wouldn't contact her. Basically, what I said was that I knew that I liked her but I wasn't sure how she felt; also she was very hung up on her ex, almost bursting into tears at the mention of his name.

    And maybe I'm stubborn but if she doesn't want to text me I'm not texting her. I would rather not ask her for an explanation because whatever the explanation is it doesn't change her actions and I'm at the stage now where I don't want to be or even associate with girls like her. Maybe a few years ago I would have but now I don't have the time or the energy for it.
     
  8. goodwood

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    I don't know that this is strictly something that is limited to that girl, or to girls/women.
    after i called off my wedding, i was broken hearted, she was devestated. It was a terrible time and we both went off and slept with a lot of people just for the sex.
    that lasted for a few months until we both got tired of having random, meaningless sex and dealt with our emotions. until we did though - there was a lot of being 'slutty' on both sides.
     
  9. Incocknito

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    Well maybe I'm different to everyone else...I just want to be on my own after a breakup. Of course sex is preferable to celibacy but I would rather celibacy than random meaningless sex.

    Where to find like minded people? Hmm.
     
  10. AlteredEgo

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    You misunderstand me. I mean that your problem is you didn't ask her what she wanted from you WHEN IT MATTERED which was right at the beginning. Preferably BEFORE you spent all day in bed, but certainly at some point that day. You acted based on pure assumption, and that is why you are feeling the way you feel now. Of course what she wants doesn't matter to you now, because it is crystal clear that you don't want the same things.
     
  11. AlteredEgo

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    Learn to open your mouth and ask people how they view sex. How else are you going to find like-minded people?
     
  12. Incocknito

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    Do you not think that's a bit up front? I can't go round asking strangers what they think about sex. I'm British, you know.
     
  13. D_Relentless Original

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    Why do women get called Sluts anyway ? just cause they enjoy sex and don't want a relationship with anyone, just unfair in my book.

    I know lots of guys who have a different woman every other day and they are known as " the Man " with a kind of Godly Label attached.

    Equal rights for all is the motto isn't it ?. then maybe it should spread to the sex lives of women choosing how they want to have sex without being " Labelled " for it.

    Good for her i say.
     
  14. AlteredEgo

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    Um... You should get over that. If you can't even discuss sex with someone, you have no business having any. I'm serious. Discussion helps you avoid disease, incompatibility, and awkwardness later. Once you talk things out with a few different partners (assuming you don't spend the rest of your life with the next girl) it'll get easier and feel more natural.
     
  15. RamIt

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    Women get called sluts because even the fattest, most unattractive women can fuck lots of dudes. Its not an accomplishment in any way shape or form for even an attractive women to fuck many guys. The real accomplishment and show of virtue is NOT to fuck every guy they can.

    Fat ugly guys cant fuck as many women as they want. Furthermore, fat, ugly, poor men are lucky to ever fuck a woman. As a guy, you need to be charming, good looking, or successful to fuck a lot of women. Thats why its an accomplishment. Any guy could very easily never get laid, and theres nothing impressive about that.
     
  16. Incocknito

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    Maybe slut is a strong (and wrong choice of-) word. However, for a woman of 27 to be seeing multiple guys at the same time, I just have a moral aversion to it.

    Maybe I am idealistic/naive but I expect a woman of 27 to be less promiscuous and to only have one partner at a time. Or at least be honest about what she's doing.

    "You can play me if you wanna, but you better let me know." as the song goes
     
  17. Principessa

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    A moral aversion to it? Did you just leave the monastery?

    Do you expect the same behavior in your male friends? Or is this a double standard?
    :mad:


     
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