Getting over GF... ideas?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by budday, Jul 6, 2006.

  1. budday

    budday New Member

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    Hi everyone. Look I won't give a long sob-story here but a significant relationship with a really great girl ended about a month ago. Work was busy in June so I was able to distract myself, but now that things aren't so hectic I'm realizing how much I miss her.

    First of all, it was truly a capital L relationship (!!!), and secondly, I've never had a girl dump me suddenly... it's always been a mutual-breakup as things cool off with previous girlfriends. This one was heart-breaking.

    She is a very caring person and wants to be friends, but I know I'm not ready for that yet. It will definitely just play with my emotions at this point.

    How do I work through this?
    And how do we build a relationship that doesn't prey on my feelings for her?
    Can that even happen in situations like this?

    Thanks in advance... I know some people will have amazing things to say about this.
     
  2. smally

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  3. Wrat

    Wrat New Member

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    Well, budday...you would be best off focusing on your career. If work is slow right now then sped a lot of time organizing your workspace, calling old contacts, putting together your Fall calendar and getting your financial ducks in a row. Your career is very important. Treat it like it is. (Not that you don't) Sounds like you and the girl have mutually decided not to hang together. That is very okay, isn't it? As great a person as she is, it may not be what you really want, need or deserve. Save your energy for the real thing.
     
  4. pinkbutton

    pinkbutton New Member

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    I've only been through one bad breakup, but it was very similar to how yours went. We were together on Friday, having fun together and I thought we were fine. Then all the sudden on Sunday he just didn't want me anymore.

    The only thing I can say is try to accept that's it's over (and don't get in touch with her) and fill your free time with other things. Join a club or form a new one. Catch up on the things you've wanted to do but couldn't find the time for . . and you'll find someone else.

    No worries :smile:
     
  5. Matthew

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    I think you're right to wait until you've healed a little bit to try to develop a friendship with her. No need to rush it, if it's going to happen.

    In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself. Sounds trite, but it's true. Do the things for yourself that you would want to do for a friend in the same situation. And speaking of friends, it's time to lean on your best ones.
     
  6. budday

    budday New Member

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    Hey thanks for what you guys have said. It really does help.

    My friends have been great... incredible actually! Few of them have gone through something quite like this though. The part I'm having trouble with is knowing whether a friendship with her will be possible.

    She is a very kind girl and gave me about a week, then called a few times just to say hi. Although it was nice to hear from her, it did leave me feeling really weird. She didn't ask to see me again or anything, but it's obvious she wants a friendship. I'm sure that's not possible for me for the next couple months. I certainly can't date her because she was really selfish and unkind to end something so significant so suddenly. I can't be just friends because, underneath all of this, I still have feelings for her (or maybe shadows/memories of feelings?)

    How do you know when you are over a person enough that you can be friends without falling back into the old routines etc. and ending up with a very confused heart?
     
  7. Gisella

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    :hug:

    Oh man...

    U have to give time to heal, keep close to your friends and after many day by days it will get better...believe me...

    For some people its possible to still become friends for others not at all...but im almost sure the ones who wants to really still be friends are the ones who 'L' less and gave less...maybe...:confused: but try to remeber the bad times more than the good and fantasying about it..it worked for me to remember the bad...

    Bcause i got deep hurts with separations not only romantics, i do have nowdays a strange way to behave...seems i much more 'cold' in this situations..but i know when i have to just let it go...bcause would not last and i would waste my energies trying to revive the dead...i move on and distract by living the best way i can.

    Wish the best to you!!!:kiss:
     
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