GF has a fetish for black guys.

[petite]

Petite, yours and the BF's relationship is so much like mine with my husband. It makes me smile to read about it. We need to get together and my daughter can babysit your son and our husbands can talk nerdy stuff while we drink Cosmopolitans. It could be good people.

I would love that. I think that would be so much fun! I've thought many times that the way you describe your husband that he would get along with TheBF.

 

[D_PinkieAreola]

Personally I think this post is based on two racial assumptions. First that black men are well endowed and that they are on a whole better at sex. Second that white women are pure and delicate and will be corrupted by having sex with black people. That's how I interpret a majority of the posts to the OP about his girlfriends inherent worthless for fantasizing about black men. And the assumption that she'll either cheat or leave him if she even gets a taste of black dick.

I seriously doubt that the responses would be the same if
a) the OP's GF wanted to have sex with another non-specific white person
b) The OP's GF was black and wanted to have sex with a white person

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I would love that. I think that would be so much fun! I've thought many times that the way you describe your husband that he would get along with TheBF.

I'd definitely consider stopping at your place on a road trip. I'd be honored to make you a White Gummy Bear martini and make your son giggle until he spit up on me.

 

[D_Jacqueline_Boozann]

WillieLong, keep the racism out of your posts -- black thug. How in the hell do you know he's a thug -- as if there aren't any white thugs?

Yes, there are white, hung guys who don't treat their women nicely, either. This site is filled with overt racists: you must have proof, WillieLong, facts. Have you seen him in action?

There are many black women who have left their black men for white men: would the white men be considered, thugs, too? Please, posters, exercise common sense, which few people have in this generation -- it is taught in the home.

 

[1sweetbabe]

Nonsense. In fact how open she's being means she less likely to cheat and, as far as we can tell, hasn't ever cheated anyway. She's being open about a fantasy with her partner, that's a healthy thing (even if he asks her not to carry through with anything). It's not up to you to judge her or the things they do within their relationship.

I imagine your second paragraph is incredibly offensive to the OP.

I agree 110% with you on that It is very healthy, She is not being disrespectful at all to him, She is being honest and with him and that is Very healthy in a relationship...

Being able to share things like that is something that has made my relationship very strong and very much more stable cause we can share with each other...

I guess some people are more open minded then others.

 

[1sweetbabe]

There is a fine line between letting your partner know what turns you on and being disrespectful to them and/or putting them in an uncomfortable/unchangeable position.

For example, a person saying "I like when you do this during sex - it turns me" is fine. If the person isn't doing it, then they can try their best to meet the person's expectations.

This thread is a perfect example of what is unacceptable to say to your partner under the guise of "well I'm just being open and honest and letting you know what turns me on/I'm comfortable and letting my true feelings be known." The OP isn't black and there is nothing he can do to change that, so even if that is a turn on to his SO it is something better left unsaid. There is absolutely no reason to say to someone that you want something they can't provide. Especially if that person loves you (and presumably would provide you with anything they could). Besides, if she is really that turned on by black guys then she should probably just be with one.



That doesn't suck, that's called being respectful to your partner and the fact that you're in a relationship. As I mentioned above, some things are better left unsaid.

If you want to live out your fantasies, then by all means do so... by being single and doing whatever the hell you want without the chance of anyone getting hurt.

I dont see it as being Disrespectful at all.. I see that she feels they have an open line of communication with each other. She expressed herself as he has with her.. Open line of communication and trust with each other is what they have...

I will live out all my Fantasies if I am able to... I would never Hurt the person I was with to full fill one...

 

[1sweetbabe]

Thank you Willifred for pointing that out.

I've been having dirty and taboo fantasies for literally decades. I'm capable of having an inventive erotic imagination and control over my impulses, simultaneously. Staying faithful requires no effort and I've never cheated on anyone I've ever dated.

I don't know what the OP's relationship is like, but in my long term relationships, we become close enough that we share everything, and that includes our dirty little fantasies. As a woman, telling my partner that I've fantasized about something doesn't mean that I intend on acting it out. You can be sure that I probably don't want to, even he was totally game for it. There's a big difference between imagining something, and actually doing it.

I really think that the one that the OP needs to be talking to is his girlfriend. She's the only one who can actually answer his questions.

Very well said

 

[554279]

Well, let me give you my perspective as a black man.

There has always been a cultivated fetish of sex with a black man/woman under the umbrella of being "taboo." Dating a black person and having sex with a black person is still seen as scandalous in some parts of the world. This is a fact. It is the "wrongness" that is appealing, which is an entirely different discussion altogether.

If your girlfriend really has a fetish for black guys, rest assured she does not want to date one. She may not want to date you, but long term relationships with a black guy are out of the question with all fetishists. That's been my understanding.

There is nothing wrong with having a sexual fantasy, most men here can attest to having them regularly. There is nothing wrong with sharing your fantasy with your loved one. You can choose to facilitate that if you want.

You should be more concerned about your girlfriend pushing the issue to the point where you are starting to feel disrespected.

Don't let yourself be in a situation like that.

Interesting perspective and sound advice.

 

[petite]

I'd definitely consider stopping at your place on a road trip. I'd be honored to make you a White Gummy Bear martini and make your son giggle until he spit up on me.

I'd love to drink any kind of martini you made me. :biggrin1:

You'd be glad to know that he rarely ever spits up. :tongue:

 

[B_Nia88]

for me it isn't a fetish jusy who i am attracted too. like some people like blondes etc.

 

[HunggGreek]

What is a White Gummy Bear Martini????

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Equal parts:
Raspberry Vodka
Peach Schnapps
Sweet and Sour
Splash of Sprite

Pour into a Martini glass
Garnish with a couple of gummy bears
Stir....nom nom nom

 

[B_Kanaye]

Can you tell all those on the Flip Side "Thank You" on behalf of many?

He was joking.

LOLLL

My post wasn't racist, it was -hilarious- and factual.

The OP should directly confront her fetish to prove the myth incorrect and educate her.

£400 says she doesn't give a toss about black guys after the event.

 

[vince]

He was joking.

LOLLL

My post wasn't racist, it was -hilarious- and factual.

The OP should directly confront her fetish to prove the myth incorrect and educate her.

£400 says she doesn't give a toss about black guys after the event.

Whoops my bad... I wasn't joking and now you are.

 

[AlphaMale]

I dont see it as being Disrespectful at all.. I see that she feels they have an open line of communication with each other. She expressed herself as he has with her.. Open line of communication and trust with each other is what they have...

I will live out all my Fantasies if I am able to... I would never Hurt the person I was with to full fill one...

It is disrespectful because with a topic like the one in this thread you are basically saying to the person, "Hey I really really want this thing very badly that YOU can't provide. I know you can't do anything about it, but I'm just letting you know that I'd really like it."

What positive result does that really give THEM? How are they supposed to feel about that? I know it makes the person saying it feel better because they are getting it off their chest and expressing how they feel and/or they don't feel like they are hiding something, but it really doesn't do anything positive for the person they are telling.

Keep in mind, I'm assuming that when two people love each other/are in a relationship they will do their best to provide what each other want. The topic of this thread would be the exact same thing as saying, "Hey I really want this expensive piece of jewelry... I know you can't afford it at all but I'm just letting you know. Oh hey look, that guy over there bought his partner the expensive piece of jewelry that I want and you couldn't buy for me."

Expressing your fantasies to your partner is all about you, it really has nothing to do with helping them out in anyway unless it's actually something they can do.

I agree that an open line of communication and trusting your partner is a good thing. However, just because a random thought crosses a person's mind, doesn't mean they always have to express it to their partner under the premise of communicating/trusting/not feeling guilty about having the thought. Sometimes wanting to express something does more harm than good. Some things are just better left unsaid...

 

[joyboytoy79]

Alpha, I know you and I disagree on this issue to large extent, and I'm really not trying to pick a fight with you. I did see some things in what you said here though, and thought I might offer a different perspective.

It is disrespectful because with a topic like the one in this thread you are basically saying to the person, "Hey I really really want this thing very badly that YOU can't provide. I know you can't do anything about it, but I'm just letting you know that I'd really like it."

What positive result does that really give THEM? How are they supposed to feel about that? I know it makes the person saying it feel better because they are getting it off their chest and expressing how they feel and/or they don't feel like they are hiding something, but it really doesn't do anything positive for the person they are telling.

The positive thing that comes from this is discussion. For some people, keeping things in, not sharing the fantasies, hurts. For other people, hearing about fantasies that don't include themselves hurts. I firmly believe that people can find a balance.

As an example: my husband is curious about vagina. As a man, I don't have one of those. I am NOT okay with him pursuing his curiosity, but I'm still glad he told me about it. Otherwise, the massive amounts of straight porn I found on his hard-drive would have had me wondering, and the train of thought wouldn't have been pretty. As uncomfortable as his "fantasy" makes me, it's a part of him. Being his partner means I have to find a way to accept that discomfort, so I do. That doesn't stop me from teasing him about it, though.

Keep in mind, I'm assuming that when two people love each other/are in a relationship they will do their best to provide what each other want. The topic of this thread would be the exact same thing as saying, "Hey I really want this expensive piece of jewelry... I know you can't afford it at all but I'm just letting you know. Oh hey look, that guy over there bought his partner the expensive piece of jewelry that I want and you couldn't buy for me."

I don't think the purpose of a realistic relationship is ever going to be about providing what each person wants. Desires are fickle and strange and often uncontrollable. Relationships are about providing what each person needs. Wants are secondary. E.g. I want to take a year (or more) to travel the world and see just about everything there is to see. Of course I've told Masked about that desire. I don't expect him to ever attempt to fulfill it, though. It's unrealistic, and I know that! I'm just telling him about my dreams, because they're a part of me, and I figure he wants to know.

The same thing goes for sexual fantasy/desire. I tell him, he tells me. Neither of us is expecting the other to attempt to accomplish anything that's beyond his bounds. It's just about sharing our innermost selves with each other.

Expressing your fantasies to your partner is all about you, it really has nothing to do with helping them out in anyway unless it's actually something they can do.

I don't disagree. But I think a big part to being in a successful relationship is being able to accept that each of you are going to be selfish sometimes. I also think if you turn that statement around, you'll find that the person hearing the fantasy is helping the person who is telling it. And what's wrong with that? In any relationship you will sometimes give, knowing full well that there's nothing to receive in return. That's just the nature of the beast.

I agree that an open line of communication and trusting your partner is a good thing. However, just because a random thought crosses a person's mind, doesn't mean they always have to express it to their partner under the premise of communicating/trusting/not feeling guilty about having the thought. Sometimes wanting to express something does more harm than good. Some things are just better left unsaid...

I don't agree with this. It might be better for one of the parties involved, but it isn't helpful for the one who now feels he/she has to keep a part of themselves hidden away. Some people are expressive, and show their love by sharing themselves completely. Those of us who love expressive people have to learn how to see this expression for what it is - a full surrender of inner thoughts and feelings. It's important to not succumb to jealousy and fear, because those emotions are so easily misinterpreted as a desire to control and suppress.

And with that, my dear Alpha, I will stop dissecting your post.

I hope everyone who had the patience to read through the whole thing is able to see how it connects to the OP. :redface:

 

[AlphaMale]

Yep, no fighting... I'm always up for hearing other opinions. :smile: I don't really think of too many things in a right vs. wrong context anyway. In fact, I think most of the time people can look at something completely opposite but still make very valid points for their side of the discussion and explain why they feel the way they do.

The positive thing that comes from this is discussion. For some people, keeping things in, not sharing the fantasies, hurts. For other people, hearing about fantasies that don't include themselves hurts. I firmly believe that people can find a balance.

... As uncomfortable as his "fantasy" makes me, it's a part of him. Being his partner means I have to find a way to accept that discomfort, so I do. That doesn't stop me from teasing him about it, though.

I guess I don't understand the "not sharing fantasies hurts" perspective because I'm the "if it doesn't include me it hurts" type lol. I can say though that anything that was really a fantasy of mine I have done already, so that could be why (maybe I should come up with some new ones :wink. And yes, there should be some type of balance sought if two people in a relationship see this type of thing differently.

And I totally get the second part, I do that to CG all the time about his twinky boys! :tongue:

I don't think the purpose of a realistic relationship is ever going to be about providing what each person wants. Desires are fickle and strange and often uncontrollable. Relationships are about providing what each person needs. Wants are secondary. E.g. I want to take a year (or more) to travel the world and see just about everything there is to see. Of course I've told Masked about that desire. I don't expect him to ever attempt to fulfill it, though. It's unrealistic, and I know that! I'm just telling him about my dreams, because they're a part of me, and I figure he wants to know.

The same thing goes for sexual fantasy/desire. I tell him, he tells me. Neither of us is expecting the other to attempt to accomplish anything that's beyond his bounds. It's just about sharing our innermost selves with each other.

I agree, and I actually meant those to be coupled together. To me, a relationship is about providing as much as you can for the other person in every way. For both their wants and needs. Needs are more important of course, but providing things they want is also a big part of it to me. To some people though it could be all about needs or wants exclusively.

I don't disagree. But I think a big part to being in a successful relationship is being able to accept that each of you are going to be selfish sometimes. I also think if you turn that statement around, you'll find that the person hearing the fantasy is helping the person who is telling it. And what's wrong with that? In any relationship you will sometimes give, knowing full well that there's nothing to receive in return. That's just the nature of the beast.

I don't agree with this. It might be better for one of the parties involved, but it isn't helpful for the one who now feels he/she has to keep a part of themselves hidden away. Some people are expressive, and show their love by sharing themselves completely. Those of us who love expressive people have to learn how to see this expression for what it is - a full surrender of inner thoughts and feelings. It's important to not succumb to jealousy and fear, because those emotions are so easily misinterpreted as a desire to control and suppress.

Well for some reason I don't have anything that I think about and don't feel like I can't express or that I'm hiding it. Especially not a sexual fantasy. Maybe I don't think that critically about those type of things or take the time to. So I'm getting used to this idea that someone could be hurt or feel like they are hiding something by not sharing a fantasy with their partner. I think I have mentioned to you before that those two ideas are very concrete to me. To me, If it's not worth pursuing it's not worth mentioning. Either it's something I want so bad I will stop at nothing to get it, or if it's not that important to me than it's not important at all. :tongue:

I'm not saying it's wrong in any, it's just something that I don't relate to at all personally because I've never felt that way.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Whoops my bad... I wasn't joking and now you are.

Can we go back to putting gifts of thanks on the altar for you?

 

[WillyLong]

WillieLong, keep the racism out of your posts -- black thug. How in the hell do you know he's a thug -- as if there aren't any white thugs?

Yes, there are white, hung guys who don't treat their women nicely, either. This site is filled with overt racists: you must have proof, WillieLong, facts. Have you seen him in action?

There are many black women who have left their black men for white men: would the white men be considered, thugs, too? Please, posters, exercise common sense, which few people have in this generation -- it is taught in the home.

Hello Episcopalian,

Were you drunk when you wrote this?

In regards to you calling me a racist, had you done your research, you would have found the following quotes from me on this website:

Thread: Do you only have sex with your own race? My quote “Said like Jesse Jackson, "I'm an admirer of the entire rainbow coalition."

Thread: Is it racist if you’re only attracted to guys with a certain skin color? My quote “I prefer men who don't drink (or drink rarely/socially), smoke, or do drugs (including poppers). Everything else is secondary. I think everyone has a visual preference, but if you can't admit that on occasion you find someone outside of your comfort zone attractive, then there's something wrong with you.”

I, however, did my research on you Episcopalian, and these are some of the things you’ve said:

“As a black female living in Albuquerque, NM; absolutely not, I would not fuck a fat man. Now, a toned, muscled man is a turn on for me.”

So you’re prejudice against overweight men.

“I love tall white guys, too, and I am a black female. Short men do not appeal to me”

So you’re prejudice against men shorter than you.

“He's everything I ever dreamed of...and more. What a big, thick cock.”

So you’re prejudice against men with small penises.

“Yes, I could date a bi-man as long as he (1) does not bring him home or (2) bring me back a disease (even though most men use condomns) or (3) can satisfy me.”

Interesting, very open-minded, but then you turned around and said:

“Please stay in your relationship. Now, if she insists, leave her...run as fast as you can. Very few women would permit their boyfriends to be fucked by another man...I know I wouldn't.”

You also said

“However, if I wanted to date a bi-white male (my choice)...and I am black -- they are hard to find in Albuquerque, NM”

So you’re prejudice against non-white men.

“A very interesting thread...and right on time for me. I'm seeing someone because of his girth!”

So you’re a size queen

“Many men have told me on several sites they admire my honesty because I do not
pull any punches. I say what is on my mind, like it or not.”

Yeah, you do say what’s on your mind without first thinking it through, bless your heart.

Here are more of your gems

“Anthony has an appreciative, acceptable arrogance....and every man can not get away with it. On the other hand, he's a little too skinny for me. He must have a fast metabolism or smoking has stunted his growth.”

So you’re prejudice against thin men.

Here’s my favorite, you said

“Hey, why do men marry if they're going to cheat -- just be confirmed bachelors? The same applies to women, too -- confirmed bachelorettes.”

Good advice, but then you admitted to being the Mistress of a married man

“I may have responded, but the biggest I've seen (not a porn site or a magazine) -- and I had in me -- was a married guy with a 10 x 7 cock.”

Episcopalian, had you taken the time to read the entire first message on this thread, you would have seen that the original poster was not talking about a specific black guy, he was talking about his girlfriend’s racist preference for big black dicks (if she craved big dicks of all colors it wouldn’t be racist). She wants big black dick without giving up her white privilege, otherwise she wouldn’t just fuck a black guy, she’d date him and introduce him to her friends and family.

Had you paid attention to what I was saying, you would have seen that I made the distinction between a black man who would not be attracted to a shallow white girl, and a black thug who would.

I have a big black penis. You don’t. Your perspective on this issue is not as clear as mine. If I were straight, I would be one of those big dicked black men that the girlfriend wants to sleep with. Been there, done that. I’m not a big black dildo. I’m not a fetish. I’m a human being.

Episcopalian, I’ll do your research for you. Here’s what I said in a thread that’s similar to the original subject of this thread

Thread: White guys, what was your reaction when you first saw a huge black cock fucking a beautiful white woman. My quote “What this says to me is how did you feel when you first saw the ultimate beast fucking the ultimate beauty? This is why so many black men don't date interracially. It's a double-edged sword to be both admired and vilified based on your skin color and the perceived size of your penis.”

And last but not least, Episcopalian, I’ll leave you with your own quote, a quote you should follow yourself

“Please, posters, exercise common sense, which few people have in this generation -- it is taught in the home.”

WILLY OUT
PEACE

 

[D_Balls Cezanne]

Now that is a response.