girl im seeing wants me to take her virginity

superslam

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I dont know how to feel about this...were just kind of at the friends with benefits stage...but shes leaving in 2 months for an off campus program and i am graduating so i probably will never see her again. she really has never dated anyone before i am guessing as she is quite inexperienced sexually which can be somewhat frustrating (she has a great butt tho ;) ) btu the other night she told me that she wanted me to be the one to take her virginity. part of me (the deprived part) wants to do it because i havent had sex in a long ass time. but the better man in me doesnt want to because I am afraid she'll get attached when were seperating in such a short time and because of that I can't really become more than a what I am, which is very temporary. any thoughts?
 

softly

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hm.. you've got a problem....

I had sex for the first time with a guy that i knew, but never really dated. it was, like "come to my place tomorrow, I'll bring the condoms", and we did it. The thing is, that after that, I started to care about him, though I had planed not to. But couldn't do anything as we had decided only to have sex, nothing more. He was nice and caring, but I didn't want him to feel awkward so I never said anything about my true feelings for him. After a period when we had sex regularly, we started dating other people, and ended this relationship. But, I always think about him, it's true that a girl never forgets the first one. We sometimes meet on the street, and smile to each other , and maybe talk a little, but we never bring up that subject.
I'm not sorry for what i've done but i sometimes wish i did it with someone that I had a long-term relationship with.

So, if you love her, do it, if you don;t at least talk about what she really wants. Remember, the first time for a girl is very important. If you do it, treat her well, give her the time of her life. ok?
 

Principessa

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Don't do it, you already have doubts. Trust me, the no falling in love thing rarely works especially with young women. Heck, it doesn't always work with young men either.


I dont know how to feel about this...were just kind of at the friends with benefits stage...but shes leaving in 2 months for an off campus program and i am graduating so i probably will never see her again. she really has never dated anyone before i am guessing as she is quite inexperienced sexually which can be somewhat frustrating (she has a great butt tho ;) ) btu the other night she told me that she wanted me to be the one to take her virginity. part of me (the deprived part) wants to do it because i havent had sex in a long ass time. but the better man in me doesnt want to because I am afraid she'll get attached when were seperating in such a short time and because of that I can't really become more than a what I am, which is very temporary. any thoughts?
 

Ed69

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I'll agree with NJQT,don't do this!.I've tried sex just for sex and it does not work.I've only had sex with two women,my wife and the girl I thought would be.The memory and pain are not worth it.
 

chill4d

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It's funny I'm in a similar yet opposite situation, so I dont know if I can help you or not with my opinion...

Im dating someone who will be leaving in 2 months, and probably won't get back together or try the long distance thing. The thing is, I'm the virgin in this situation and I think I want to lose my virginity to her (much more experianced than I) but I'm afraid I'll get more attached and only make the break up that much more difficult.

The way i see it there are two factors at play here, the fact that someone is leaving in 2 months, so the timer is on. And number 2 is the aspect of virginity, which may or may not play a big part in your decision.

I know for me I want the first time to be a good experiance, because I'm one to shy away from things I don't initially enjoy and I don't want that to be sex. However I think to truly make the sex great, there must be love as well. That unfortunately will make it difficult at the end of it though.

But remember if she just wants to lose her virginity before leaving she will find someone to take care of that need. In that case only I would step up and show her a good time! ;)
 

EBlend

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I agree that the no falling in love rule rarely works, and for men, too! I know when I was younger I lost my virginity with another guy, and I fell in love even though he did not want to have a relationship. Just like the women have mentioned here, I have never forgotten it, and I have to say it would have been nicer had it been with someone who I could have also been more involved with. As it was, it was pretty painful.

It's easy for us to give advice like this, but when you (and she) have those biological drives making you crazy, it's difficult to use reason. So think over what everyone here says and then decide, but be aware of what may happen.
 

superslam

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well the same kind of thing happened over an extended break with a friend...she was just a fuck buddy of sorts, and there had been this sexual tension between us for a while and when it happened it was great...and I thought we did an okay job at keeping it just that because again, I was going to be leaving back for school. I really did start to like her but again I knew what the reality of the situation was...and its the same thing with this. I don't think I want a girlfriend right now as my life is going to change dramatically in the next 6 months when I begin to look for a job after college, and the extra emotional baggage and responsibility is soemthing I can do without.

Thanks for the input guys, I just had to put it out there. I think I will talk to her about it...when she brought it up I was kind of shocked and I was like "I think you need to think about this!"
 

superslam

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It's funny I'm in a similar yet opposite situation, so I dont know if I can help you or not with my opinion...

Im dating someone who will be leaving in 2 months, and probably won't get back together or try the long distance thing. The thing is, I'm the virgin in this situation and I think I want to lose my virginity to her (much more experianced than I) but I'm afraid I'll get more attached and only make the break up that much more difficult.

The way i see it there are two factors at play here, the fact that someone is leaving in 2 months, so the timer is on. And number 2 is the aspect of virginity, which may or may not play a big part in your decision.

I know for me I want the first time to be a good experiance, because I'm one to shy away from things I don't initially enjoy and I don't want that to be sex. However I think to truly make the sex great, there must be love as well. That unfortunately will make it difficult at the end of it though.

But remember if she just wants to lose her virginity before leaving she will find someone to take care of that need. In that case only I would step up and show her a good time! ;)


that is also something i learned over break with the other friend...she was and still is a great friend of mine, but there wasnt love between us and I could definitely tell it was not the same thing as with my girlfriend from years before.
 

D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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Do it.

She is obviously ready so it may be that she prefers it to be with someone she trusts rather then getting taken advantage of the first time. as long as you arent doing in to take advantage of her then i dont see a problem
 

D_Jurgen Klitgaard

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This has been my biggest fear, because I know I will fall for the girl I am first with. It's only a problem if I just have a fling and they don't want anything more. Otherwise it's fine if they are wanting a relationship too.

I just don't ever think I could be with someone and not have any feelings for them afterwards. Then again I don't know.

I always wondered how guys could hook with girls for meaningless sex.
 

Principessa

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This has been my biggest fear, because I know I will fall for the girl I am first with. It's only a problem if I just have a fling and they don't want anything more. Otherwise it's fine if they are wanting a relationship too.

I just don't ever think I could be with someone and not have any feelings for them afterwards. Then again I don't know.

I always wondered how guys could hook-up with girls for meaningless sex.
You have learned many lessons well grasshopper; but you have yet to learn that a hard penis has no conscience. :cool:
 

ZOS23xy

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Yes....

Sex for sex...uhm. You're being asked a special act and with memories to give to someone that may add or detract to her feelings for her and others who deal with her.

All in all, its not about being big, but about how loving and caring you can be.

And there's the size issue...