Girl said I was gay after I was unable to perform

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Nrets, Sep 29, 2007.

  1. Nrets

    Nrets Member

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    This is a recent situation I want to get off my chest.
    I know I said I was gay once before, but I started to think about it and I couldn't picture myself getting off with a guy. I think about girls a bit.
    So I hooked up with this girl like 3 nights ago.
    I went down on her and enjoyed it, but my dick stayed soft. It was my first time going down on a girl.
    She reaches down and feels my limp dick and says "something's missing"
    Which was a follow up to her asking "what isn't gay about you?" after she had been grinding on me for a bit and I had "passed up like 10000 oppurtunities to just fuck her"
    There were various reasons I didn't. I had been aroused at first, but didn't know what to do next. Also I had some performance anxiety.
    And then she was really aggressive. She started grinding on me. I was caught off guard by how hard she bit my lip.
    I felt strange that I wasn't the one making the moves.
    Well anyway, I'm just wondering if she would have made insinuations about my sexuality had I not told her I was a virgin and that I was unsure of my sexuality.
    Could her accusations be because she is insecure about herself?
    She is really hot, and I still want to have sex with her, I was just not as ready as I thought.
    That said, I can't stop thinking about the things she said, and am worried that if I see her again this could be a vicious cycle.
     
  2. Quite Irate

    Quite Irate Member

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    She's probably worried that you not getting aroused was at least partly her fault and/or plain non-sexiness. Don't let a woman's insecurity make you feel bad about yourself.
     
  3. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I think you need to steer clear she sounds like the proverbial bitch from hell :wink:
     
  4. sbeBen

    sbeBen New Member

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    Sounds like she is not the girl for you. It is not surprising you had performance anxiety the way she spoke to you.

    There is a lot of pressure on men to "perform". How would a girl feel if you started saying "you are dry down there!, you are supposed to be wet. Are you a lesbian or something?" You would be horse whipped.
     
  5. snoozan

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    if she's not patient and understanding, i can't see why you'd bother. it's only going to make you feel bad. if you're unsure but you want to experiment with a woman, do it with someone who you can talk to about your sexual identity and experiment safely.
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I agree with everyone before me. Don't bother wasting your time. Find someone you can be friends and lovers with. Don't get hung up on someone who is far too sexually agressive. She's a bitch, they are a dime a dozen. Please for your own good move on.
     
  7. sbeBen

    sbeBen New Member

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    Sure thing!! You will definately get a worse viscious circle staying with her! Sounds like she doesn't like you any way. You say "she is hot" this must be looks only from what you have said. Get a girl who is hot looking and a great personality.

    I have a theory that a horrible personality can actually make someone who seems good-looking look ugly the more you get to know them! You will discover this too I'm sure.
     
  8. SpoiledPrincess

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    You're a virgin, you feel unsure about what kind of sex you prefer and she was a bitch, hardly the ideal circumstances for anyone to get aroused. She probably felt that you failing to get a stiffy meant you didn't find her attractive so hit out at you in a way she knew was sure to hurt you. Ditch the bitch and move on, don't let what she said affect you because it was said out of spite.
     
  9. B_blackkid

    B_blackkid New Member

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    1. When I was a virgin, but a few months ago, I couldn't "perform". I could attain an erection, but couldn't ejaculate for the life of me. That continued for at least a month. The Moral: Nervousness with a new partner can take place at any time; you could be having had sex for eons, sometimes you'll just be nervous.

    2. Accusations of sexuality are made when one does not understand the situation; it's just as accusations on anything else are made when one cannot pin, for certainty, the traits of another person. Obviously the accusations would be unkind if the preceeding situation wasn't in either parties favor, especially the persecutor.

    My suggestion: Find a patient person. It usually just doesn't happen immediately for most males I assume.
     
  10. Principessa

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    I hate to be rude because you seem to really like her; but she sounds like a total bitch!

    What makes you think that after the things she said she is going to let you see her naked again? :rolleyes: I'd be more worried that she is going around telling people you can't get it up.
     
  11. datdude

    datdude New Member

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    She probally has low self esteem and you not getting hard, hurt her self esteem. She dont want to be turned down. Dont worry about it. The male body is wierd sometimes and if you where nervous or unsure than your not going to get hard.

    Sounds like your scared to have sex. Dont feel bad, I was to, its scary, but the right person will make that go away. Just relax and let go.

    If she dont understand shes not right for you.
     
  12. Nrets

    Nrets Member

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    That's hilarious. First time I laughed all day. So true, though. And she was freaking wet. I forgot to add the worst thing she said for my performance anxiety,.,,,Fuck me and prove you are not gay. ..
    I called her the next day and tried to get her feelings on the experience out of her rather then these vague hurtful comments. I wanted to hear either 1. "We shouldn't hang out at all" or 2. "I am sorry I was a bitch, let's try it again."
    She went for #2 without the lets try it again.
    She usually says call me whenever when we finish talking.
    So I said, "Idk what to say, YOU call ME, whenever, If YOU get the urge."
    She got quiet and hung up.
    She called me at 3 am yesterday.
    We talked for an hour.
    I know she treated me like shit...and I should stay away like Think Kink and Snoozan said, but there is just some sort of connection.
    I went to 4th grade with this girl and she disappeared for 12 years and then just gave me her number one day.
    I didn't call her because I felt like she was making insinuations about me already mentioning my friendship with this one dude in 4th grade and our mutual friend who is openly gay now.
    She called and we ended up doing all this the first time we met.
    Ok, I know that is not a connection...but even though she is a bitch, I know where it comes from. She told me what makes her tick. It is something about her Dad.
    Bottom line: I know she is bad news. But I like bad news. I will stay away, though, unless I decide I can pull the following off.... I just give her a taste of her medicine. If she is aggressive, I just throw her down and give her what she was asking for.
     
  13. sbeBen

    sbeBen New Member

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    Ok it sounds like you know what you want. Glad she knows she was a bitch. Good luck and don't stand for any shit!
     
  14. Principessa

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    Riiight. :rolleyes::cool: There are men twice your age that couldn't pull off that move successfully. Expecting to be able to do it your first time out of the gate is kinda silly.
     
  15. VeeP

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    OK, first of all if a guy's mere inability to perform means he's gay, we'd be one big planet full of queers.

    Secondly, this chick is bad news and you need to gtf away from her and quick. "Connection" or not -- and I don't believe there is one to speak of, btw -- she's just yanking your chain to satisfy her own twisted jollies. Your time would be better spent finding something you do want to fuck, 'cuz obviously it ain't this crazy wench!
     
  16. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    That's exactly what I wanted to say but held back. :wink: Yes that sums the situation up.
     
  17. sbeBen

    sbeBen New Member

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    Actually yes, f..k her off! She is not worth it.
     
  18. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Men have this mentality that we are supposed to be turned on by any available female or there's something wrong with us. I think some guys are, but it's not a given.

    Something similar happened to me one time when I was in the Army. This German girl turned up on post looking for a guy I knew. He wasn't around at the time, so I was friendly with her and ended up letting her stay with me overnight. (My roommate must have been out and we had semi-private barracks apartments.) Anyway, she was kind of aggressive like you describe. She had some health issues, halitosis on top of smoking. She was not obese, but overweight. She wanted me to massage her, which I did for awhile. She made it clear that she was available and when I did not respond she asked if I was gay. Well I am mostly gay, but I was like the last one to know it at the time.

    Anyway, you won't always be attracted to everyone, so don't expect that you will be.
     
  19. sbeBen

    sbeBen New Member

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    Who the hell do these women think they are???:eek:
     
  20. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Yeah dude. Just because you knew each other doesn't mean there's a sexual connection. Clearly there's not as she's abusive, selfish, and demanding in bed. Just because she's the only one available at the moment doesn't mean she's the right one. Stay friends with her if you must but tell her anything more is right out.

    If anyone is going to make you gay, it's this chick.
     
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