Our connection is that we both have sort of screwed up parents that make us not really like ourselves deep down. But yeah. I think I should stay away. I think maybe my penis was responding to some subconcious memory of her maybe being amongst those who made fun of me when I was in elementary school.
It sucks. She is a man hater. I'm fuzzy on the memory as I drank a bit, but there were points where she seemed to be putting unncessesary pressure on my chest. Almost like she wanted to choke me.
And she sort of put her knee towards my balls in a slow but kind of threatening way. I wasn't tripping. I just figured she was kinky. But I guess she is virtually a dominatrix. I was lying face down at one point and she started humping me. I think she is a stripper. She moved in a way that most girls don't usually...
The more I think about this, the more I want to meet up with her and just be really aggressive. Not because I necessarily like her, but because she deserves a violent fucking...but yeah, if I froze up, that would be disastrous. So no.
Another thing I was thinking about is that maybe I shouldn't be trying to hook up with girls at all. Like they are not for me, because the day after I had a physically beautiful woman in my bed, I had to really work at it to jerk off. I should be all turned on. I realize now that it is because she totally emasculated me.
I want to add that it isn't that I didn't know what to do, It was that I was not sure how to make the transition from making out to making sure she is ready and then putting a condom on and then having sex.
In a past experience, someone told me I should have moved slower to explain why some girl wasn't responsive when I immediately went for her crotch. I figured I had to warm this girl up. I didn't realize she was ready to go. She was dripping wet...
But I didn't get it and she just started saying shit, and then I wasn't ready to go at all anymore. So I went down on her. I wanted to watch her get off.
It seems everyone is saying she was totally fucking with me. Which she was, but I feel on some level she felt something emotional in her twisted head. Why would she call me at 3 in the morning and talk for an hour after I told her she has to call me if she wants to see me again.
I'm not saying she isn't a bitch. I'm just saying that had I been more prepared for what she was going to do, I would have thrown her down on the couch and had my way with her right after she got on me.
When she said "why haven't you fucked me yet?," that opened a pandora's box of erection killing insecurity
I'm not going to let her do that again...and I shouldn't even talk to her again. But I probably will. She is interesting for some reason. Its probably because my Mom is pretty nuts.