Dear Ladies,
I've come around to face a small problem regarding my girl, well, actually the problem starts to grow bigger and bigger. In short: she has trouble climaxing, and feels insecure because of that. I'm short of lost, and have been ever since we started having sex.
Here is a little piece of the background. We dated for half-a-year before she wanted to have sex, I guess she was a bit afraid as she was a virgin. She hasn't dated any other men, and I doubt she has even kissed before, now she's 23. At the beginning I was confused, no matter what I tried, or how hard, she didn't seem to enjoy it at all. I was in a serious relationship for 6 years, and had great sex with my ex (yeah, loved those big O's of her) so it wasn't my doing that was totally wrong. Later now, as I've tried to get her open up a little, she admitted that she had tried to hold back when I was playing with my tongue the first times. She has had a couple of orgasm now, even those I've noticed, but I can't understand why she was afraid to let her self relax and enjoy, and still is.
Last time we spoke about sex, after I managed to get her off with my tongue, she told me what I already had felt for long time. If I go down on her or try to hold my self back when fucking to get her off she, with few exceptions, starts to think how she should now get off, and saddly the game is lost at that point. And she's never got an orgasm while just fucking even if either of us stimulates her clitoris simultaneously. I've tried to talk and have asked her to talk more, but she's always just quiet about these issues, listens though. Once she actually spoke to me, and that really stunned the shit out of me. As I tried to ask her about her preferences, and asked how she likes to masturbate, she revealed she hadn't masturbated for almost a year before we started going out, and that she doesn't simply do it. I've tried to talk more about masturbating, and masturbated in front of her so that she wouldn't feel that innormal, but she still doesn't explore herself.
So I'm a bit lost. I've tried for half-a-year to get her enjoy it more and please her anyway I can. I've never said that I'm disappointed because that would upset her more. But I really don't know anymore how I should approach this subject with her. Last time we were having sex, I first fondled her, then gave her oral. (As I thought that if she get's off first we could have a merry-go-round together after). At first she was getting closer and closer, but suddenly she just lost it. When I asked if she wanted me to do it somehow differently, she simply started crying!
Please, I would appreciate your advices on how to improve her self-esteem and get her more comfortable with sex. Puzzled
I've come around to face a small problem regarding my girl, well, actually the problem starts to grow bigger and bigger. In short: she has trouble climaxing, and feels insecure because of that. I'm short of lost, and have been ever since we started having sex.
Here is a little piece of the background. We dated for half-a-year before she wanted to have sex, I guess she was a bit afraid as she was a virgin. She hasn't dated any other men, and I doubt she has even kissed before, now she's 23. At the beginning I was confused, no matter what I tried, or how hard, she didn't seem to enjoy it at all. I was in a serious relationship for 6 years, and had great sex with my ex (yeah, loved those big O's of her) so it wasn't my doing that was totally wrong. Later now, as I've tried to get her open up a little, she admitted that she had tried to hold back when I was playing with my tongue the first times. She has had a couple of orgasm now, even those I've noticed, but I can't understand why she was afraid to let her self relax and enjoy, and still is.
Last time we spoke about sex, after I managed to get her off with my tongue, she told me what I already had felt for long time. If I go down on her or try to hold my self back when fucking to get her off she, with few exceptions, starts to think how she should now get off, and saddly the game is lost at that point. And she's never got an orgasm while just fucking even if either of us stimulates her clitoris simultaneously. I've tried to talk and have asked her to talk more, but she's always just quiet about these issues, listens though. Once she actually spoke to me, and that really stunned the shit out of me. As I tried to ask her about her preferences, and asked how she likes to masturbate, she revealed she hadn't masturbated for almost a year before we started going out, and that she doesn't simply do it. I've tried to talk more about masturbating, and masturbated in front of her so that she wouldn't feel that innormal, but she still doesn't explore herself.
So I'm a bit lost. I've tried for half-a-year to get her enjoy it more and please her anyway I can. I've never said that I'm disappointed because that would upset her more. But I really don't know anymore how I should approach this subject with her. Last time we were having sex, I first fondled her, then gave her oral. (As I thought that if she get's off first we could have a merry-go-round together after). At first she was getting closer and closer, but suddenly she just lost it. When I asked if she wanted me to do it somehow differently, she simply started crying!
Please, I would appreciate your advices on how to improve her self-esteem and get her more comfortable with sex. Puzzled