girlfriend cant make me cum!!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by davey_boy, May 18, 2008.

  1. davey_boy

    davey_boy New Member

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    Hey people,

    need a bit of help! Me and me girlfriend are yet to have sex but we have done almost everything else but she cant make me cum by blow job or hand job. She starts then gets annoyed sayin shes rubbish at it when she clearly isnt. I think it may be because im nervous as i am still a virgin or possibly because i am used to my own rythm. Any ideas on what we can do to make me cum?

    thanks davey
     
  2. WifeOfBath

    WifeOfBath New Member

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    practice. lots and lots of practice.
     
  3. Helboy

    Helboy New Member

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    Give me your addy and I will be round and defo make u CUM !!
     
  4. dreamer20

    Gold Member

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    Relax davey and tell her she is not rubbish. It is not always possible for another person to make you cum via a blow job or hand job. You can always takeover and finish the job that she started.
     
  5. B_retracted

    B_retracted New Member

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    OP, one way to get over this is to masturbate in front of each other at the same time.

    That way, each can see what the other does to pleasure themselves and you'll also lose the "first time cumming in front of someone" thing that you have going on.
     
  6. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    I like simulated sex. I straddle my lover and stroke his cock .
    I think Retracted gave you the best advise.
    Best wishes.
     
  7. vindicator

    vindicator Member

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    Davey boy,

    How do you jerk yourself off? Are you a pretty vanilla jerker? The standard up/down? Or do you have your own method?

    You're right, some people have their own technique or way they like it. My BF was like this. He used to jerk off by laying flat on the bed and humping it. If i tried to jerk him off, nothing ever happened. It didn't translate over well with another person helping. :smile: It took a long time and some practice on my part, but eventually he was able to cum from jerking off the standard way.

    I think the important thing is that you need to be open with her about how you jerk yourself so she can try to replicate it and you're going to have to be open with her when she is doing it about what works and what doesn't. You should show her yourself. I would jerk off for her and just let her watch and take notes (so to speak). You'd be surprised what you can learn by just watching.... :biggrin1: Plus it's REALLY hot to watch someone else...
     
  8. lilbighorn

    lilbighorn New Member

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    I agree, it's not always easy for a "third person" to jack you off. You may have to take over command of the ship toward the end there.

    All it is is nerves. This too shall pass. Stop seeing it as a task to get accomplished, but as an event where both are horny as can be.
     
  9. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    I would follow on from retracted with the whole mutual participation aspect but perhaps still oral in the 69! ....i get more aroused giving while receiving!
     
  10. Sherwood D. Likelym

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    Just enjoy the sensation. Once you arrive at the destination, are you going to start the trip over?
     
  11. JMeister

    JMeister Member

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    Don't touch your cock for 3-5x longer (hours, days, weeks) than your usual frequency of orgasm. Then when she starts to give you a hand job put your hand over hers, show her how to stroke it, and tell her to get ready for a huge blast.

    If that's not quite enough close your eyes and think about whatever it is you think about when you are whacking yourself off.
     
  12. Scott14

    Scott14 New Member

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    I agree! And if you haven't yet masturbated yourself to orgasm while she's there watching you, I bet you might have a difficult time even making YOURSELF cum!

    Then, also try this: Have her put her hand on your penis and then you put your hand on top of hers. That way you can help train her hand as to what feels nice for you! Where to hold, how much and where to squeeze or aply pressure, how fast to go, when to concentrate the motion, etc...

    (And if you're self-conscious, you can even do this second part in the dark. Then turn on the lights so she can see the big globs of your fresh cum all over you and her hand! Then tell her what a FANTASTIC job she did!!!)
     
  13. B_hey listen up

    B_hey listen up New Member

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    just relax.

    Try not to jerkoff for a day or two before hand, I know thats not easy.

    I have always had a tough time cumming from a BJ. I can do it, but its not easy and takes a while if not done well.
     
  14. Krusader

    Gold Member

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    Relax coz it's all in the head?
     
  15. EBlend

    EBlend New Member

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    It's difficult to say what the problem might be without knowing you, but I think you shouldn't disregard the "fear of cumming in front of someone else" thing. I had that when I first had sex. It took me awhile before I could relax and let go enough to cum with another guy, no matter how hot he made me. I thought for awhile that there was something really wrong with me but then I found a guy who was comfortable with simply jerking off while we kissed. There was less pressure, and he was the one who helped me learn to cum with another person.
     
  16. davey_boy

    davey_boy New Member

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    Thanks everyone, we had sex for the first time last night and i came quite fast (quite embarrising) but i did use my fingers for a while before i got in the seat and she said she really enjoyed so guess its not too bad.

    anyway, i agree i thinks its just plain nerves and i dont think it will take long before she makes me cum orally.

    now i need to try and last longer during sex :(