Girlfriend has trouble handling it.

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by D_GenuineScreamer, May 31, 2010.

  1. D_GenuineScreamer

    D_GenuineScreamer New Member

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    So, I'm a little on the big side but not enormous (7 long x 6.5 girth). My girlfriend wants to have sex, but the issue lies in the fact that it doesn't exactly... fit right. I don't think the issue is entirely me because I'm not ludicrously huge, but also that she's really tight as I'm the first guy she's ever been with.

    We've tried a few times now, but it just doesn't really fit well. We spend a lot of time beforehand trying to warm her up because she's scared of the pain and I'm scared of hurting her. The issue arises that somewhere between her being scared of it hurting, me being scared of hurting her, and spending so much time idly warming her up, I lose my hard-on a bit. By the time the condom's on and we're good to go, I've gone down to like 70% hard and have to try to do the whole "pinch the base, act like it's a cockring" kinda thing.

    I think most of my problem is nerves, and the nerves come from not wanting to hurt her. We've gotten far enough that I've popped her cherry, but she hurt like hell the next day and neither of us finished after that. So basically, my question is: Any tips on how to make it less painful for the woman or make it fit more comfortably?
     
  2. blooeyz

    blooeyz New Member

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    hey,
    Lots of folks on here have similar problems. You're really thick which women like, but it's gonna take a few rounds of losening her up before you're gonna have a lot of fun. As for losing your hard on, I wouldn't worry too much about it as I've think you've hit the nail on the head. She might need to be giving your dick as much attention as you are her pussy, to keep things going. Lots of foreplay and oral will probably help both problems.
     
  3. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    I think that your girth would be accomodated after a bit of sex with less endowed guys :D I'm not kidding... I think that there are girths useful only when a pussy is well dilated after year of fucking with the average or a bit above average guys... maybe the smaller guys would be the better choice for a virgin... Everything exist in the Universe has a role... the role of a thick guy is to fuck an already enlarged vagina... and you are not a bit above average...you are almost Huge in the fgirth department ...of course huge for a virgin... try to play with sex toys before you can enjoy your sex! ;-)
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

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    You are big. It sounds like you're doing exactly what you need to be doing. Just be patient. You want her to enjoy and love sex, not be afraid of it. I'm not surprised that you didn't finish after the first try. Breaking the hymen can be painful!

    Do you go down on her? Does she go down on you? It might help if you licked her to orgasm first before you try penetration. At first you may just want to do penetration sex for a little bit and finish off with oral sex or mutual masturbation.

    Not being fully erect may also help her out, since it makes it hurt less. It makes it fit better. I wouldn't consider not being fully erect to be a problem right now. It could help her get used to your size.

    Good luck!
     
  5. D_GenuineScreamer

    D_GenuineScreamer New Member

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    She's a little uncomfortable with me going down on her. I do, but she just feels really exposed by it and isn't always up for it. She absolutely loves when I do though.

    She also doesn't really like being touched after she cums, so finishing her off before going for penetration isn't really in the cards I think.

    This is all good stuff guys, thanks! Keep it coming!
     
  6. cbrmale

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    I'm the same size as you, 7" x 6.5", and the first time for my now wife was not good for her (she was a virgin at the time, and she had to deal with my size). I was a bit harder than you, in that after lots of hugging, kissing, oral sex (absolutely mandatory for any couple where the man has a large girth), I fucked her. It hurt her, but the next morning she was fine, so we did it again, and it was beautiful.

    Whatever's happening is in her mind, and she will have to learn to relax and let it happen. I've had sex with some small Asian girls with really tiny pussies, and no problems at all. If you've broken her hymen and she's relaxed and ready for you, there should be no problems other than she's obviously tense and anxious.
     
  7. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    What about you and her using toys together,both of you gently inserting a smaller dildo/vib in order to help her relax and use lots of lube.Once her body is relaxing and she feels less tense use a slightly bigger dildo/vib and so on.

    Don't put the focus on penetration (as in your penis) just lots of playing and foreplay until she feels more confidant (i get the feeling she isnt at the moment) about her body.She needs to get to know her own body before anyone else can IMO.

    Though i do agree with what the others have said as well.
     
  8. je1ani

    je1ani New Member

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    >she's scared of the pain

    mental barriers bro, she needs to calm down and relax, her muscles are tensing up
     
  9. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    It's the story of my life, my husband is the same size as you. It took several attempts before penetration was possible at all. And its taken years to not tear each time we have sex. If she's really tight, try making her orgasm AFTER sex and not before. THe tightening up she does to orgasm will just make it worse.
     
  10. RawDog

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    I've had numerous discussions with women about how vaginas do, in a way, loosen up with a bigger penis over time. It's not like things down there tear apart and get over-extended, it's just that the muscle memory of what it takes to open up and swallow gets ingrained and your vagina starts getting more accustomed to the fit.
     
  11. hud01

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    You do reallize that at that size you are most likely in the 85th to 90th percentile as far as size goes. For a virgin 6.5 around is huge.

    Try buying a vibrator or smaller sized dildo. Spend a couple of nights getting them into her.

    Have plenty of lube, even if she is wet, to help.

    It also sounds like she is slightly sexually repressed and needs time to open up. Uncomfortable being eaten and closes up shop after an orgasm, not good signs to me. Some pillow talk might be in order to get her to relax and enjoy more. Be positive and supportive.
     
  12. Stephenmass

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    Have HER control the penetration by riding you on top.
     
  13. simbablk

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    I wish I had known this piece of advice years ago. A former partner of mine would always have extreme difficulty accepting me into her. I thought (as some guys would) that giving her an orgasm BEFORE penetration should help. So, every time we had sex I made sure to eat her pussy to orgasm (mainly because I LIKED it - but also to help her loosen up I thought). Each and every time it just about killed her when I started to penetrate. It took, every time, 15-20 minutes before I was fully inside her. Sometimes longer. But I thought back to one occasion when it was really easy to penetrate. We were both surprised. I ate her pussy as usual but didn't keep going until she came (I was horny and I just wanted to get in there). When I eased up to penetrate, I sort of slipped right in. So I think Ms. Rouge is on to something.

    Give that a shot next time: lots of foreplay to get her really wet and juicy but no orgasm and try to penetrate. I'm interested in knowing if this will work or not.

    Simba
     
  14. petite

    petite New Member

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    I guess I'm just different because I have an easier time with my guy's size width after he goes down on me and brings me to orgasm. I swear that I'm not tighter after I orgasm. After orgasm I'm more aroused than before which makes the fit easier for me.

    I don't have difficulty with my guy's width like I do with his length, not like Mlle. Rouge. She is smaller than me in regards to that. With me and TheBF, if we haven't had sex in a long time, I am a lot tighter and the stretching is a burning sensation, but it's not too painful to enjoy sex. I get sore a lot faster and it's a lot easier for him to hurt me if he's rough with me, but penetration itself has really never been an issue with us. Depth is more of an issue for us.

    I guess different women are just different in regards to that.
     
  15. Wish-4-8

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    Well there is a clue. It seems that she has hang ups already. Which means, she tightness up her whole body. And the anticipation of pain is a self forfilling prophecy.

    Can you finger her?
     
  16. D_GenuineScreamer

    D_GenuineScreamer New Member

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    That I can do. She's quite thrilled with it actually. If she weren't, I'd think she were just sexually repressed, but I don't know.
     
  17. Tense0000

    Tense0000 Active Member

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    I agree.

    Patience by Guns n Roses :) Bon Chance!
     
  18. carbonfiber

    carbonfiber New Member

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    The best thing you can do is let her know that you know that you care and care about pleasing HER... If she trusts you and knows that you truly want to please her then all you can do is take your time and make sure the oven is 'pre-heated' enough. Although I will say as a side note that if you guys don't stay together she'll be disappointed in future guys lol so good for you man!
     
  19. cbrmale

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    Not a good idea. When a woman spreads her legs when she's on top it makes her tighter, which is the opposite of what we want to do. Missionary is a relatively loose position, which is why it's a good place to start.
     
  20. cbrmale

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    Women are different with this, I'm afraid. If my wife didn't have an orgasm before intercourse, she would be too tight for me to penetrate. After orgasm, she's fine. This has been my experience with the majority of women I have had sex with.
     
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