Girlfriend is picky

Drifterwood

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Actually, before people start throwing too many rocks at each other, you have a great opportunity in front of you BaknBlak. I imagine you are reasonably inexperienced yourself, so you two pretty much have an open book to fill.

I would try the position that I suugested above, but don't stop when you have found something that works, because whilst I agree with the lady who said that women must take responsibility for their own sexual enjoyment/fulfillment, it is a lot of fun to explore that as a couple.

You can't have your sex life solely about her. You need to find the you plural and in the meantime, she should not forget the you singular.
 

B_crackoff

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To the OP - your girlfriend is not 'picky'. 'Picky' suggests choice. The only choice she is making, is the choice to orgasm.

She is picky - she won't explore other options

For me personally, I can handle a man not cumming (I've had experience with it), as long as he still shows that he's interested in me and sexually attracted to me.

Great - then perhaps she should be able to deal with not coming too!

Wanting to orgasm makes her lazy???

Refusing to do any work - but just lie back & take it while he performs is yes - plain bloody lazy. She's responsible for her own orgasm - barking orders to a " love slave" LOL - is not active whatsoever!

She isn't? Where did you get that information from?

Because she's basically getting someone to wank her rather than engage with him at all.

Who said the OP's girlfriend was getting angry? He certainly didn't.

Wow, I expected better from you here,I simply juxtaposed the situation, & altered crying to angry. OK with the man crying (they're both outlets for frustration - is that better?) - now comment on it.

Nothing in his post suggests she is submissive.

How do you know. I suggested she might be, as she does nothing at all. He'd have more fun & actually keep wood if he had a wank! It's something for him to explore & find out - which might be better for both of them - it's helpful information!

Nothing in the OP's post suggests ( a taken fantasy) such a thing and you saying this is both irresponsible and misogynistic (considering that it has no basis whatsoever).

If she's not fantasising then she's the world's laziest & most useless lover, lying there like a sack of spuds, acting like a princess ordering her butler to get her off. Regardless of what you percieve to be sub behaviour, just wanting to lie back & fucked hard & played with, without doing anything is wanting to be dominated & TAKEN. It's a top 3 fantasy, if only mild sub behaviour.

Come on; his GF cries when he loses wood cos he's probably cramping & concentrating - do me a favour - she does nothing & then blames him for her lack of orgasm - pathetic.

There's no misogyny in anything I've said. The women on here all comment, completely correctly, the same way about selfish guys, so stop using misandrist & childish terms when it goes the other way.

Edit: DW - ditto - but, that last paragraph...I know what you mean...but it sounds like you've been reading a lot of self awareness books, OR your business is actually that of an itinerant sex therapist!
 
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MsThang

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I'm going to tell my next girlfriend that I can't cum unless she is also doing my tax return/paperwork/filing etc.

LMAO, tell me about it. I actually can do tax returns but I would fuck a guy good if he did my laundry and cleaned my apartment, oh and grocery shopping and cooking. God what I would do for a maid. I think I am having an orgasm just thinking about it.
 

D_Winthrop Woodcock

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threesome is the answer: you fuck, the other guy stimulates. Bonus: she can suck him at the same time

Nice one!

LMAO, tell me about it. I actually can do tax returns but I would fuck a guy good if he did my laundry and cleaned my apartment, oh and grocery shopping and cooking. God what I would do for a maid. I think I am having an orgasm just thinking about it.

So you are saying that you choose a guy not only because he is good in bed but a lot many things other than that?? if so then what is he had everything and you did not know how he is going to be in bed?? would you take the chance?

Getting back to the point, a girl has a right to ask for what she wants... agreed... But the thing, the guy must be willing to provide that not because she "demands it" but because he wants to make her happy...

In this case, it seems that you are having a tough time giving her what she wants. The fact that you are posting here means you like her and really want to please her, but you dont seem to be able to pull it off comfortably.. Guess you got to find some techniques/positions that will stimulate her clit at the same time you are thrusting... Try get her to orgasm once even before you enter her, so that she will be reasonably satisfied and when you enter her, you can get her to cum again with less aerobics as you mention... and maybe you can also enjoy a bit in the process...

In this case talking to her is not going to work... but maybe asking her which exact move of yours works her up- now that's the question you need to be asking!
 

729b4l

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LMAO, tell me about it. I actually can do tax returns but I would fuck a guy good if he did my laundry and cleaned my apartment, oh and grocery shopping and cooking. God what I would do for a maid. I think I am having an orgasm just thinking about it.


I do all that now....and still don't get laid!
icon8.gif
Man, menapause is a bitch!
 

IntoxicatingToxin

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Haha- take a running jump! I guess you think that sex is all man's job too. What kind of wimp ass shit is that - try to convince her? I think he has been trying, but she's saying no. Try listening to a man instead of telling him what YOU would want.

Exactly what is he getting out of it?

The GF has done fuck all - that's the problem - duh.

TTM, Stop this reactionary bilge. Join us in the 21st century! It's like some women here conspire for their sisters, instead of all of humanity.

Honestly mate, you'll never get good advice from a woman on this one, because they don't know exactly what the technical problems are in trying to coordinate your arms, legs & cock at the same time, whilst trying to jackhammer someone at impossible speeds, whilst maintaining a full erection.

They just don't get it!

This further proves what an idiot you're being. We have no idea what lengths they've gone to in an attempt to solve the problem. I made a suggestion that they may or may not have tried, you're jumping to inane conclusions without even hearing the entire story. He never said that his girlfriend has done "fuck all". She's told him what works for her, in her experience. The issue so far is that what works for her doesn't work for him. That is ALL that we know. We don't know how long they've been trying, we don't know what they have and haven't attempted, nothing. So instead of attacking who she is when you don't have a fucking clue, try to be supportive. This is a SUPPORT site. Not a place for you to display your douchebaggery.

To the OP - your girlfriend is not 'picky'. 'Picky' suggests choice. The only choice she is making, is the choice to orgasm.




How long have you tried for, and what did you try?

For me personally, I can handle a man not cumming (I've had experience with it), as long as he still shows that he's interested in me and sexually attracted to me.




Wanting to orgasm makes her lazy???




She isn't? Where did you get that information from?




Who said the OP's girlfriend was getting angry? He certainly didn't.




Nothing in his post suggests she is submissive.




Nothing in the OP's post suggests such a thing and you saying this is both irresponsible and misogynistic (considering that it has no basis whatsoever).

Thank you.

And to the OP, a bit more history on your sex life with this woman would probably help us help you a bit more.
 

B_crackoff

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crackoff - I also recognise how girls never seem to do much but it doesn't really matter to me as when they try to do something I feel nothing. Literally nothing. Wtf.

But then, I don't think the problem lies in the woman, but more in my own penis sensitivity. This is why I can make myself cum within 5 mins of sex, my glands are still sensitive. There is no sensitivity in the shaft, and if I without my load I lose sensitivity in the head due to what I can only describe as a numbness, as if drunk.

I understand this entirely. How long has it been going on? In my personal experience, despite a very active sex life, I once went a year without coming with a woman.

It's like you get over the hill of not coming early, & then no matter what you do, you can't come, & feel numb - sometimes so numb, you've got to check that your cocks still bone hard, which it was. I still find it difficult to orgasm through intercourse, as I spent so many years concentrating on just lasting & f*cking.

I think you'll have to treat yourself, & just come early. You might have trained your mind one way, so the more often you come earlier, the more likely you'll deprogramme yourself -possibly. You've got stuck in a rut of behaviour. If you're in a relationship, you might have to explore new ways of doing things.

The point about the beads etc, is that something new & surprising might give you the added stimulation - mentally. There's always that milking, prostate massage technique - though I'm not sure thats for a Yorkshireman!:eek:
 

nicenycdick

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LMAO, tell me about it. I actually can do tax returns but I would fuck a guy good if he did my laundry and cleaned my apartment, oh and grocery shopping and cooking. God what I would do for a maid. I think I am having an orgasm just thinking about it.

You know that I cook, right?
 

nicenycdick

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The most hopeful part of the original post is that there has been some real conversation about what is going on. That is most often the truly difficult part of these problems, so you are one leg up, so to speak. Keep talking. It is really not that difficult to figure it all out if you keep the communication going. And there's nothing sexier than when she shows you what she likes...mmmm.
 

B_Bjen2848

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something i do to get more than one area stimulated is i position her in doggy and i enter her in a downward angle (my dick has a slight downward angle on it as well so in this position it hits the G spot, and when deeper the A spot pretty consistently) while alternating between fast and slow pumps i take my right hand and rub her clit and use my other hand to either pull hair (if shes into that) or i place it on her waist .. when done right you can expect an EXPLOSIVE orgasm from her
 

helgaleena

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that sux if she cant even get herself off...she needs help


Tell your woman to learn how to make herself come before she tells you how. It's only fair that she devote a bit of effort to self-knowledge of this sort, because otherwise she will be forever dependent on others for her happiness. It is a recipe for long-term relationship disaster for one of the partners to be doing all the giving and the other only receiving. It may flatter you now, OP, but in time it will get to seem like a chore.
 

petite

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Tell your woman to learn how to make herself come before she tells you how. It's only fair that she devote a bit of effort to self-knowledge of this sort, because otherwise she will be forever dependent on others for her happiness. It is a recipe for long-term relationship disaster for one of the partners to be doing all the giving and the other only receiving. It may flatter you now, OP, but in time it will get to seem like a chore.

We don't know if she does't give. I think it's reading into things to assume that she's a cold fish when the OP only discussed his difficulty using his hands while fucking her hard at the same time and remaining hard. Maybe after he's done with her, she does something for him. Maybe she gives lots of blowjobs. We don't know!

All we know is that the OP wants advice on what to do to make his girlfriend happy in bed, given that she needs both clitoral stimulation and a hard fucking. I liked Pitbull's advice. Get her an egg vibrator as a present and ask her to use it alone to get off, then ask her to use it while you fuck her. I personally like the TLC 10x and California Exotics Hypersonic bullet.
 
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EmJay

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We don't know if she does't give. I think it's reading into things to assume that she's a cold fish when the OP only discussed his difficulty using his hands while fucking her hard at the same time and remaining hard. Maybe after he's done with her, she does something for him. Maybe she gives lots of blowjobs. We don't know!

All we know is that the OP wants advice on what to do to make his girlfriend happy in bed, given that she needs both clitoral stimulation and a hard fucking. I liked Pitbull's advice. Get her an egg vibrator as a present and ask her to use it alone to get off, then ask her to use it while you fuck her. I personally like the TLC 10x and California Exotics Hypersonic bullet.

I agree with Pitbull and Petite...get the aid of a vibrator to help her...it will be awesome :smile:..

She seems very comfortable expressing her emotions around you, she just might not be too comfortable yet using her own fingers infront of you..

The OP clearly loves her, lets not get sucked in by the word *picky*..because its seems like that word is causing all of the misinterpretation by some posters..

If he wanted to dump his girlfriend, his question would be a little different.

To me both the OP and his girl are somewhat handicapped. They need to figure out a way together to deal with their handicaps in a way that pleases them both. Therefore they both need to communicate more clearly and explore other ways that work..and be patient with each other..
To me it feels like she's out of touch with intimate sex, like she's used to hard pounding sex,because that is the only kind of sex she's had or loved (and the only way up is harder)..and therefore lost contact with her own body ..

To me its like you need to go back to initimate lovemaking again..

There is always time to dump one another when you can't feel that you are satisfied fully sexually (read: not just vaginally)

Get creative, have fun and take the pressure out of performing. Sex is supposed to be fun :smile:

@crackoff..you come across very angry towards women. I sense so much more kindness in your words when you react and advise some other male posters..like Jonesy. But when the topic is 'woman' or you react to the response of a woman its almost like you are shouting.. Very unpleasant that is:confused:. We do not represent the women in your life you or maybe even your friends had bad experiences with you know..
Don't put us there. A little respect should not have to be such an effort..

We can all agree to disagree, but being upset like this seems a bit much..
 

petite

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@crackoff..you come across very angry towards women. I sense so much more kindness in your words when you react and advise some other male posters..like Jonesy. But when the topic is 'woman' or you react to the response of a woman its almost like you are shouting.. Very unpleasant that is:confused:. We do not represent the women in your life you or maybe even your friends had bad experiences with you know..
Don't put us there. A little respect should not have to be such an effort..

We can all agree to disagree, but being upset like this seems a bit much..

I have to say something, too. Emjay is right. I used to really enjoy your posts. Lately you've been generalizing a lot about women, and the overall message seems to be that women suck and you're mad about it. If I wrote about every guy who sucked in bed or every guy who did something crappy to me, it would be a novel by the time that I was done, yet I try hard to see that what one individual does, or even what many individuals do, that doesn't make it true for everyone. I don't attack you under the assumption that you have the same faults as the last guy who pissed me off, because that's treating you unfairly. Yet you've been reading things in posts that haven't been said, like the OP's post, and subgirrl's, and TattooMamaMeg's posts! Then you're all sweetness to Jonesy after he admits to making women feel like crap in bed because he has the exact same problem as the OP's girlfriend, which is that it's difficult to make both of them cum. I don't think Jonesy deserves being attacked either for his honesty and his self-awareness, but the contrast in your tone of voice is shocking. Honestly, it seems like you're just dropping by Women's Issues to let us know that you think we all suck.
 
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B_crackoff

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@crackoff..you come across very angry towards women. I sense so much more kindness in your words when you react and advise some other male posters..like Jonesy. But when the topic is 'woman' or you react to the response of a woman its almost like you are shouting.. Very unpleasant that is:confused:. We do not represent the women in your life you or maybe even your friends had bad experiences with you know..
Don't put us there. A little respect should not have to be such an effort..

We can all agree to disagree, but being upset like this seems a bit much..

Emjay - I would add that I did suggest a vibrator!

I see what you're saying, in your well thought out post, however, I was purely giving an alternative viewpoint to others, who were saying that the OP should do more - not the GF. I felt impelled to post this because it was a complete 180 degree to the normal commentary of posters, if the sexes had been reversed:smile:.

Suggesting alternate scenarios, & hypothecating might assist the OP, who I presume is young, & take off from him the yoke I perceive he has, that somehow he's doing something wrong, or that it's all his fault. There's a lot of pressure on young men to be studs, & that's why he needs the fullest spectrum of opinion - they need to talk & work out what's best for both of them, & if that can't happen - they've got to part.

As I mentioned, I would be in full accord with any female poster, who had to deal with an intransigent, & possibly selfish lover.:smile:

I hope that this clarifies my position.
 

petite

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I felt impelled to post this because it was a complete 180 degree to the normal commentary of posters, if the sexes had been reversed:smile:.

See, it's little digs like this that have been getting on my nerves. That's not the first time that you've given this opinion. The women here are actually really supportive of the men on LPSG and we don't deserve this generalization that you've just made. What you're saying is that you think that the women in Women's Issues are so biased that you have to pop in here to give us what you believe to be is a taste of our own medicine, and it's that attitude that rubs me the wrong way.
 

B_crackoff

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Yet you've been reading things in posts that haven't been said, like the OP's post, and subgirrl's, and TattooMamaMeg's posts!Honestly, it seems like you're just dropping by Women's Issues to let us know that you think we all suck.

Petite: I'm upset! TTM, & SG just had a pretty nasty pop at me - misunderstanding my post! I made it crystal clear in my post that most women weren't like that at all!

Every single one of our posts on this site is moulded by personal experience - however, as I've mentioned above, no one - until later, was putting any responsibilty on the OPs other half - which is outrageously backward, & sexist, compared to other threads - such as the stinky boyfriend's cock! to name but one!

I simply haven't had to post much on Women's Issues lately because I've agreed with you all.:cool:

See, it's little digs like this that have been getting on my nerves. That's not the first time that you've given this opinion. The women here are actually really supportive of the men on LPSG and we don't deserve this generalization that you've just made. What you're saying is that you think that the women in Women's Issues are so biased that you have to pop in here to give us what you believe to be is a taste of our own medicine, and it's that attitude that rubs me the wrong way.

????????????????????

My response was only for the OP here. Honest. Isn't it more important to get as wide a breadth of opinion as possible, digest it, & then choose what's right for you?
 
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petite

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Petite: I'm upset! TTM, & SG just had a pretty nasty pop at me - misunderstanding my post! I made it crystal clear in my post that most women weren't like that at all!

I've gotta tell you, I'm in total agreement with TTM and SG! You read a lot of things into the OP that he didn't say, and you did come off as misogynistic. If that's not what you intended, then it would have been better to clarify things instead of reading things into TTM and SG's posts that they didn't say either, which just made it seem as though you have a rampant problem with reading between the lines.

Every single one of our posts on this site is moulded by personal experience - however, as I've mentioned above, no one - until later, was putting any responsibilty on the OPs other half - which is outrageously backward, & sexist, compared to other threads -

No, people were literally answering his question, which were all suggestions about how he can fuck her hard while stimulating her clitoris. I don't find that backwards or sexist. He asked, they answered.

such as the stinky boyfriend's cock! to name but one!

I doubt any women here would be sticking up for a woman who doesn't clean herself so that she has a very stinky vagina. I think it can be agreed upon that anyone who has stinky genitals is responsible for keeping that area clean, unless stinkiness turns one's partner on.

I simply haven't had to post much on Women's Issues lately because I've agreed with you all.:cool:
Aw, thank you for the appreciation.

????????????????????

My repsonse was only for the OP here. Honest. Isn't it more important to get as wide a breadth of opinion as possible, digest it, & then choose what's right for you?

Yes, it is important to get as wide a breadth of opinion as possible, but lately yours have seemed a bit venomous, and that makes people feel uneasy.

Okay, I'm glad that I said something so that could be cleared up. It seemed like you were making sweeping generalizations about the women here that seemed unfair, and that you've been on the attack on the female gender recently, including the OP's girlfriend, when the Crackoff I remember has always been more fair minded than that, and sometimes funny as heck, too.