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The other night I was out with my girlfriend, Debbie, and two of her friends from uni (college), a young married couple, Jess and Matt, late 20s, who were visiting the UK on their holidays. My girlfriend is very good friends with them as they were her housemates for most of the time she was in California studying for her degree.
Jess is expecting a boy in a few months’ time and I don’t remember exactly how but the question of circumcision was brought up. To my surprise, Debbie became very vocal on the matter, in favour of circumcision. She then turned to me and went something along the lines of “Jack had to go through it a few years ago and it wasn’t the nicest experience for him. I’d definitely do it early if given the choice.” I just nodded and told them that it isn’t customary for boys to be done at birth in Britain, and yes, some end up needing it later, and yes, it is a bit of a nuisance, but it isn’t a big deal. Some further points were discussed on how the surgery went, whether it made sex better or worse for me (it had no change) etc. before we switched the topic after I began feeling quite embarrassed after all the chat on my penis.
For context, I got circumcised in my early twenties after some recurring flares of a chronic skin condition named LS or BXO - it wasn’t affecting my quality of life significantly, but my derm wanted to play it safe as there was a 5% or so lifetime risk of it randomly turning to cancer, so we agreed to snip it for peace of mind. I was intimate with Debbie at that time, so she was aware of the process and was very supportive throughout. Very pleased with the result and we never discussed it much afterwards.
Anyway, on the way home I confronted Debbie because I didn’t know her to care much about routine circumcision, we live in the UK after all. Quite a heated conversation ensured where she mentioned that she is indeed very much for it for a variety of reasons. Her main points were:
- it makes little difference sexually (and I agree, having had it both ways);
- it is healthier (maybe, I had to do it and I know of a couple of other mates who ended up with phimosis in their late teens and had to do it as well);
- it is much less of a nuisance if done early (research and anecdotal evidence seems to agree - having your penis stitched up for three weeks was bearable, but not the high point of my life)
I agreed with her on all that, but mentioned that there is also an ethical side of it whereby you are denying someone the right to choose for themselves when they are old enough to do so. She dismissed that on the grounds that there are many more choices you make for your children and this one is not that significant compared to how much of a caring parent you are, or where you send them to school.
I ended up stopping debating here but I am worried this might come up later. Marriage and children are not too far in the future after all, but if this does come up were we to have a boy, I don’t know how to react. Should I try and settle it now or worry about it later (and pray for girls)?
Jess is expecting a boy in a few months’ time and I don’t remember exactly how but the question of circumcision was brought up. To my surprise, Debbie became very vocal on the matter, in favour of circumcision. She then turned to me and went something along the lines of “Jack had to go through it a few years ago and it wasn’t the nicest experience for him. I’d definitely do it early if given the choice.” I just nodded and told them that it isn’t customary for boys to be done at birth in Britain, and yes, some end up needing it later, and yes, it is a bit of a nuisance, but it isn’t a big deal. Some further points were discussed on how the surgery went, whether it made sex better or worse for me (it had no change) etc. before we switched the topic after I began feeling quite embarrassed after all the chat on my penis.
For context, I got circumcised in my early twenties after some recurring flares of a chronic skin condition named LS or BXO - it wasn’t affecting my quality of life significantly, but my derm wanted to play it safe as there was a 5% or so lifetime risk of it randomly turning to cancer, so we agreed to snip it for peace of mind. I was intimate with Debbie at that time, so she was aware of the process and was very supportive throughout. Very pleased with the result and we never discussed it much afterwards.
Anyway, on the way home I confronted Debbie because I didn’t know her to care much about routine circumcision, we live in the UK after all. Quite a heated conversation ensured where she mentioned that she is indeed very much for it for a variety of reasons. Her main points were:
- it makes little difference sexually (and I agree, having had it both ways);
- it is healthier (maybe, I had to do it and I know of a couple of other mates who ended up with phimosis in their late teens and had to do it as well);
- it is much less of a nuisance if done early (research and anecdotal evidence seems to agree - having your penis stitched up for three weeks was bearable, but not the high point of my life)
I agreed with her on all that, but mentioned that there is also an ethical side of it whereby you are denying someone the right to choose for themselves when they are old enough to do so. She dismissed that on the grounds that there are many more choices you make for your children and this one is not that significant compared to how much of a caring parent you are, or where you send them to school.
I ended up stopping debating here but I am worried this might come up later. Marriage and children are not too far in the future after all, but if this does come up were we to have a boy, I don’t know how to react. Should I try and settle it now or worry about it later (and pray for girls)?