Girlfriend just told me I'm average

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by ShannonH, Feb 5, 2012.

  1. ShannonH

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    Hi all -
    So little background on me - I'm 28 and have been with a dozen or so women (depending on what counts ;) ), and am in a serious relationship with a woman I've been with for the past 9 months. We've always had great sex, we live together, both love each other very much.
    She's been working about 3 jobs in the past month, and in the past 5 days things have been pretty dry as she's been sleep deprived and exhausted, but had a long nap in the morning. After, I slowly massaged her legs, thighs, butt, started to finger her pussy, started finger fucking her, started pounding her from behind (she'd come a couple times by this point), had her suck me off after fucking her and came on her face and mouth, then ate her out a couple times for good measure.

    When we were lying together after, I said she had the best tasting pussy (truth), and she said she didn't think so since she can taste it off my cock, that she likes the taste of cum a lot more. I cockily remarked that I've been told I have especially great tasting cum, and she replied "Ohh, that's just something girls say. Like that you have a huge dick or that you're the best they've ever had." then added sexily "of course, you actually are the best I've had."

    Being a man, obviously I focused on the other point and asked "wait, am I really not that big?" and she replied "you're average! You've got an amazing dick, it feels awesome, it curves right in to my g-spot, and you really know how to use it. What point could there possibly be to having a bigger one -- I can only imagine that if you got in a sword fight with another guy where you had to use your dicks, a bigger one might give you a longer reach. With me, a bigger one would just make sex hurt more."

    More than anything, this was all just really surprising for me to hear. I'd been measuring myself against studies since I was very young, and I reach an easy 7.25" long (NBP) and maybe a quarter-inch short of 6" around. I can't stick in in a toilet paper tube, and if I really bone-press like most guys do I can get over the coveted 8". I've had plenty of condoms snap and none slip. I've never felt like a girl was too loose, but had a couple who were too tight after warmup to even get in to comfortably. Hell, as soon as she left I masturbated just to measure and compare against the lifestyles study, and yep still look around the 95th percentile.. even if I lower my measurement quite a bit to assume wishful-thinking and don't put the ruler very close to my base or measure 'with the curve' I'm still at worst 90th percentile. I've had girls who were angry at me still tell me I had a big dick; a girl who probably slept with 100+ guys who told me many times in a non-sexual context that it was really big. In one especially bizarre conversation, after hearing that my family generally had no modesty and we'd just go around nude a lot, an ex asked me very nervously "does your dad have a big dick", I replied "I don't know, I guess about the same as mine" to which she said "so.... yes!". I mean, how on earth can that last example possibly just be stroking my ego? That's about as anti-sexy as anything I can imagine.

    Every point my girlfriend made was totally valid, and we have great sex and I really do think we fit perfectly together, so if anything a bigger dick would make things worse with her. There's probably some self-selection going on there: she's been with 8 guys and has a really big butt, so she has a small sample size and the guys probably self-select since a shorter dick probably couldn't even get in her in most positions. She even said that the last 3 guys she slept with recently were smaller or a lot smaller than me. I can think that in my brain but it really doesn't make a difference to how I feel.

    Having grown up like this, and hear this from the woman I want to be with, it's like I've lost a big part of my identity. I've always been the boyfriend with the big dick before, and now that is gone and I'm left wondering how I define myself. I don't feel like I'm small at all, and I'm certain there are plenty of guys way smaller than me, I just feel like I need to adjust to a new sense of who I am. Maybe it's a good thing, since defining yourself so much by your dick isn't healthy.

    Anyways.. just felt like I needed to write all that down. Please share any thoughts or similar experiences you might have :)
     
    #1 ShannonH, Feb 5, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2012
  2. petite

    petite New Member

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    Well, even though she's wrong about your penis size (you're above average), you have a very healthy attitude about what she said. Kudos. :smile:

    It isn't healthy to define yourself by your penis size but sometimes you don't even realize that something was a part of your identity until it is challenged. I had a similar experience once, but obviously not in regards to a penis. :tongue:
     
    #2 petite, Feb 5, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2012
  3. Incocknito

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    Maybe you are average based on her experience. It's not impossible for a woman to sleep with guys who are all around your size, especially if she has only slept with a few men.

    There is always someone bigger. I used to think I had a big dick til I got put in my place...which coincided with being deepthroated.

    You shouldn't ask if you are the biggest ever. You can usually get a feel for if you are because she might say you're "huge" or "massive"...or "oohhh it's so deep" etc...

    But not every woman will be like that. Take compliments if you get them but don't fish for them or you might catch something you don't like.
     
  4. Adomfg

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    Your way above average dude. If you really feel insecure about it tho, there is always Penis Enlargement :D
     
  5. ShannonH

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    Yes that's it exactly. Obviously I was a little aware it was something I cared about (as I'm a member of this site) but it's just surprising how I feel about it now. It feels like I'm lost.. like I'm downtown in a foreign city without a working GPS.

    I never fished or asked if I was her biggest ever. She just heavily implied it when talking about a different subject. She's also said I'm huge, well-endowed, said I probably get attention like the guy in the show Hung, held up my dick and said how it looks like it's meant for porn, really talked about how deep I get during + after, etc. on many other occasions (though all sexual, unlike the other girls in my original post.)

    Oh, and no way would I even consider PE. The evidence of its effectiveness is dubious at best, and since I already love my dick, it works and has a good amount of sensitivity, the last thing I'd want to do is jeopardise that.
     
  6. petite

    petite New Member

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    I'm glad to hear you say that. I have strong doubts regarding the effectiveness of PE for curing size insecurity. I suspect that it worsens insecurity over penis size for guys who do it for that reason.
     
  7. CUBE

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    Dude, you have a really nice cock, way above avg. You need to know that man and enjoy
     
  8. drabman

    drabman Member

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    Shannon, you surprise me. You've always struck me as one of the more clear headed posters on here, yet you've fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book - i.e "don't give the other partner too much power". All relationships are to some extent a power game, no matter how deep the level that power game might lie. Before anyone jumps down my throat about how wonderful and supportive their partner is, I'm not saying that all relationships are a power struggle - both partners might be happy with their relative level of dominance.

    As soon as you asked a question about your dick size you gave her a red flag that it's something important to your self-esteem and therefore a cast-iron way of keeping you honest. I don't believe there's a snowball's chance in hell that she really thinks you are average, unless she's only slept with one or two other men and has experienced a stastical anomaly in that they were all very big like yourself, or she was a virgin and doesn't know any different.

    Don'teven mention the subject from now on, but inwardly chuckle if she pulls that again. Personally if it were me I'd claim to have had a bad experience with a former girlfriend who was so hot I found it stressful having other men constantly hit on her and then tell her how glad I was to have found the perfect girl for me.

    That would be ambigous enough to probably set off the same turmoil in her mind that she has (knowingly IMO) inflicted on you.
     
  9. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Average is based on the experience her hands, mouth and pussy has experienced before you. Also what she might have seen in person or not. Heard about, expected or what her pussy finds to feel average.
     
  10. 11ish

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    ^ is right, shes not saying your average based off statistics at some med university. just what shes experienced in her life
     
  11. ShannonH

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    Yes I think that's true, which is what I was saying with thinking she probably just has a smaller sample that all skews to the higher side. Really I've maintained before that the average is the most broadly ideal, since people are meant to fit together the average is average for a reason. If I've found someone where I feel average, that means I'm right in the good range where we feel great to each other, but it's not really slow to start/uncomfortably tight or shallow/followed by pain and/or tearing/UTIs the next day. I've been in all those latter situations and in spite of the fantasies guys here have and the number of 'she gets hurt/torn/etc.' posts that people seem to get off on it is _not_ a fun experience in real life.

    That's the big irony of the whole thing: what she's said really should be a good thing. I know it in my brain but as I was talking about with Petite it's jarring when you don't realize something is part of your identity until it's challenged. In general I'd say feeling like your identity has changed because you're committing to another person is a scary thing no matter what the underlying cause.
     
  12. James Duncan

    James Duncan Member

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    That's sounds like a good countermove, :biggrin1:.
     
  13. ShannonH

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    Why on earth would I want to do that? I would never say anything deliberately mean to her.
     
  14. petite

    petite New Member

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    The premise appears to be that if you aren't manipulating her then she must be manipulating you. :rolleyes:

    I've dated guys who tried to play dumbass games like that. They aren't worth my time. Good riddance. I want someone real.
     
  15. LaFemme

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    Which demonstrates just how smart you are! She is a lucky woman, and I think she knows it.

    She made some off handed remark based on her tiny piece of experience and it rocked your world. I'm not entirely sure it's what she meant, but that's how it came out. And from everything you've written about your relationship with her, I doubt she would purposely do anything to hurt you.

    You have a great cock and you know it. More importantly, it's the perfect cock for her!
     
  16. petite

    petite New Member

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    I completely agree LaFemme! :smile:
     
  17. ShannonH

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    I suppose that's the idea. It's strange since I'm pretty sure it came up just because of how little she cares to play games. It's not a subject many women really care that much about, so if she really thought it was important she'd never have said it in the first place. Reading back on the original conversation, she really just put it sandwiched in a bunch of other things she said specifically because it's such a non-issue for her.

    Just talking about her perceptions, she also said how she knew black guys had bigger dicks, in spite of never having sex with one, because she drew one as an art model (she went to art school) and he was really big. I think if someone's whole perception is based on someone that self-selected, as well as only the few guys who have slept with her (which I do think cuts out the small guys because of her size) then it's not that surprising it would skew up. With that set, true average is small, big is average, and huge is big.

    I never really wanted this thread to validate me -- I have a ruler and an internet connection so it's not difficult to confirm that I'm bigger than the large majority of guys out there. I'm especially not looking to get back at her or anything like that. I don't feel like I've lost any power in the relationship and I'm sure sex together is awesome because we're the ones having it.

    No matter what the stats in the world are like, this was part of my identity as a single man/in previous relationships that just doesn't exist any more because we're together. I really hope it can be a good thing in the long run but it's confusing right now.
     
  18. ShannonH

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    oh and thanks for the kind words LaFemme and Petite :)
     
  19. 1Cody

    1Cody Active Member

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    You are above avg and the girth is nice. Losing a part of your identity, I think that happens the way you describe in real life more than we realize and after we get a little older it usually don't phase us much at all. I was told by my ex after we were divorced that I had a little dick. She said it to be hurtful and it was in the presence of my brother. Now no matter what, he thinks I have a little dick! LOL! I was very surprised because before and during our marriage she couldn't get enough sex and the fit was always perfect. She was fit and active and likely did kegels so she kept it the way I liked it. By her saying that, she did take from me our incredible sex life for a second and made me doubt for just a split second, then I knew she was full of it. I am 7x5 and when I am really turned on maybe a bit bigger. I did overhear 2 girls talking once and the one commented on her husband's size. The other told her not to tell him he was the largest she ever had, just to tell him it felt so good. Something about him not to think he was all that. Dick size is something that you don't really criticize, not if you want to keep the guy. But I don't really think it was meant in a bad way at all.
     
  20. D_Dick_S_Lapp

    D_Dick_S_Lapp Account Disabled

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    Forget about size braaa! She said you were the peanut butter to her jelly. The saturday to her cartoon. The Batman to her....no wait....err you get the idea. At this point size does not matter. If you make it matter, you will lose something awesome so shut up :)
     
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