Girlfriend potential or just friend?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by optimum, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. optimum

    optimum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    I haven't dated anyone in over a year. That relationship was bullshit too, as I was goaded into taking this chick to our highschool prom even though she didn't go there anymore at the time. She had this secret operation going on to use me to make her ex-boyfriend jealous and all that good shit. She even faked a pregnancy on me. Now this chick was hot, and I was shocked she'd even want to get with me in the first place. Needless to say, my confidence was destroyed after the incident, and I haven't been able to hold a conversation or the interest of a girl since.

    About a week ago, a gorgeous girl that I went to high school with but never talked to messaged me online. (She was one of those girls that always made my head turn and I'd think to myself; "I'd do anything for her.") She ran into me at a public place then decided to follow through and find me, eventually leading to a couple of occasions where no one else was involved. It was hard to tell where she was coming from at first, and she seems to have a lot of guy friends, but something about it told me that this was no coincidence and there might be mutual attraction here.

    However, we've seen each other about 4 different times in a week, all in what I would call "dating situations," yet she never lets her guard down and hints at a kiss. I don't want to make her uncomfortable by asking about it, and she's tons of fun to be around so I'd hate to ruin the possibility of a friendship. I'm smitten though, how do I go about taking this to the next level?
     
  2. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Tell her how you feel. Or ask where you stand in her life.

    (Hey, I just noticed that this is my 4,000th post... feel special!)
     
  3. optimum

    optimum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    Well yea, I mean normally that's what I would do. I just feel that this was an awkward start, and saying something like that to her may squash any chance of a friendship or intimate relationship. It's not the rejection itself that I'm worried about, just what comes along with it. We know a lot of the same people and I don't need to deal with new gossip, rumors, and ostracism.

    4000! You are the Barry Bonds of LPSG!
     
  4. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    Go MEG! Wow. You have a lot to say huh? You should write a column. Really.
    Amp - huh. So this hot chick tracks YOU down and you have been out four times in a week. What sort of things do you do/where do you go to spend time together? Do you have a lot in common and to talk about? Do you ever greet her with a kiss on the cheek and a hand on her lower back as you gently do so? Have you complimented her eyes or her smile or her laugh? Try comlimenting her about something she might like to here. Hold off on telling her her tits look great in that top. lol. Good luck and keep us posted.
     
  5. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    6,378
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    where the sun never sets
    I'd say she's interested. Just make a move. Do you really value her friendship that much? Try to hold her hand, establish some physical contact, put your arm around her, hug her... you'll probably figure out by her nonverbal cues where you stand after you do some of that stuff. I know you're still young and don't have a lot of dating experience, so you might have to just try and kiss her if all else fails. Just don't make the mistake of being too spineless to ever make a move. You'll regret that forever. Embarrassing and awkward deflected kiss? That you'll get over. Have some balls and go for it. Sounds like you could be in for a really rewarding relationship.
     
  6. RamIt

    RamIt Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Talk about sex with her. A sex joke, watching a sexy movie, or just flirtatious sexual innuendos might help. Guage her reactions and maybe you can get a glimpse of whether or not she is thinking about sex with you. If she likes you, as you like her, she is thinking about it. At least it will let her know you are thinking about sex, and that might plant the seed for her as well.
     
  7. optimum

    optimum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    Goodwood - See, this is where it gets confusing. It may be our age difference though. I'm old-fashioned for a 20 year old. I was brought up in a house and family surrounding much like a '40's mafia operation. I'm into jazz, the 50's, 60's, vintage guitar gear and cars, and everything about the social revolution that came with the introduction of TV's, Rock N' Roll, and a new teenage generation.

    I'd probably want to work this out just like you described, yet I don't think that's ever going to happen. Girls these days just don't have that innocence and don't respond to guys the way they would have back then, I'm assuming.

    Unfortunately, the girls I go out with are real feisty, and have that "different" quality about them, if you know what I mean. Telling them they have beautiful eyes would make me a sap in their eyes, or someone who just sweet talks to get in their pants. I literally have no way of reading this girl. There was movies, beach, coffee, that sort of thing, and yet I have no idea if she'd want something more than friends with me.
     
  8. optimum

    optimum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    I'd say NineInch is on to something here. Yeah, we've hugged and made body contact more than a few times, and there's also been tons of sexual innuendo floating about Ramit. (Almost how this all got started with me and her...a typo, but that's another story.) Yet, somehow, it seems like this is just the way she acts, and likes hanging around guys more than girls for this very reason.

    However, nineinch, your words pierce through me like a hot knife on butter. I think I would be too spineless to ever make a move, but I absolutely know for certain that I'd be pissed at myself if I didn't. I suppose I've got nothing to lose....
     
  9. B_4inches

    B_4inches New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2005
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South east Idaho
    Amp at some point a guy, anyone really just needs to figure out that just cause a person is great looking doesnt mean you have to tiptoe around them or approach them as some sort of golden person. Its got to be about equality. So apporoach her like a decent human being and her reaction to you will tell you everything you need to know. If you treat her well and she cant or wont respond in kind then you are simply wasting your time on someone who cant so much as have a bit of human empathy. Im not much older then you and I would'nt want to be with anyone who cant respond to me like an adult even if its a tad awkward for them. Be an adult, be a man and if she cant handle that straight-forwardness then your problem is solved :)
     
  10. optimum

    optimum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    True 4inches, I guess it just wasn't easy accepting that fact, because straight-forwardness with the last girl I asked out (Not the last one I dated) left me in the dust.

    We had all the qualifications, and I just made my move at the wrong time. We'd known each other too long It was too soon for her after a breakup, and it was too late for me. It destroyed our friendship, and I feel like not only am I failing with every girl I've had an interest in, but I'm uncontrollably losing the chance to still be around them and exchange energy. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'm funny, sincere, and respectful. I don't know how much that matters to girls these days, though.
     
  11. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    6,378
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    where the sun never sets
    Be bold. Trust me. The lifelong regret thing is spoken from too much personal experience...

    good luck
     
  12. B_4inches

    B_4inches New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2005
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South east Idaho
    Well Amp yeah. What cn I say? Young people are horrendously shallow and becoming more so every time I look out my window it seems. Focus on your powers and strengths. What you bring to the table. No matter what happens nobody can take those things from you so you will always know what you are and what you can provide.
     
  13. RamIt

    RamIt Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    NIN is right, you need to make a move physically. Next time you are joking around on the couch or whatever, act offended by something she says and playfully tickle her to get even. Most of the women I have known see tickling as foreplay. As she laughs and tickles back, move in closer to "get her better" and accidentally realize that your mouth is near hers, look into her eyes and kiss her. If she gives you the turn or the brush off, "sorry, I got caught up in the moment" and forget about it. More than likely, she will reciprocate, and it will be awesome.
     
  14. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    Okay then Amp. If she is a feisty type, then DO tell her her tits look great in that thing and that they would better out of that thing. It seems like she is looking for something from you and wanting you to make a move. A hot girl always lots of friends to talk and do things with and if she just wanted to be your friend, she is spending a lot of time with you that she could have been spending with friends she already has. What about watching some Sex & The City DVDs together and when there is some sex thing that comes up ask her if she would do that. I always get laid when watching Sex & the City after date. ; )
     
  15. 36DD

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,790
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    U.S.
    I'm not going to say what everyone else is saying and tell you to just go for it...She sounds interested but may be confused as to what she herself is feeling. Good things are worth waiting for and I say not to rush it...take your time enjoying the time you spend with one another and when the time is right it will present itself...trust that the best will come out of it.
     
  16. optimum

    optimum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    Jesus. I was all amped up to seize the day tomorrow until you said that 36DD.
     
  17. Lampwick

    Lampwick New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2005
    Messages:
    383
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm with NineInchCock_160IQ on this one. There are a lot of ways to make pretty innocent physical contact and gauge the reaction. Put your hand on her shoulder. Put your hand on her forearm when you want to draw her attention to something. Helping her on with her coat is a great way to be making some contact. And when you make the contact, gauge her response. Does she flinch and draw away, or look at you, or smile, or what? And at some point, you'll be close together and you'll catch her looking at her (or she'll catch you looking at her), and you'll probably have a pretty good idea of whether a kiss is in order.
     
  18. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    36 - I love you, but this poor guy needs to get LAID with a hot girl he is crazy about. lol. How could you say such a thing? If she is wanting him to make a move after she has put herself out there for him to do that and he doesn't out of being polite and she walks away, then what? Young love (lust) is such a tricky thing. I would rather try something and know "well THAT didn't work out" and know rather than be tormented about thinking "what if".......
    Amp. I am happy you finsd this girl hot, interesting, funny, wonderful company but in the off chance things don't work out with her, then that frees you up for a hotter, better, funnier, smarter, better girl. Believe me, the will be there and you will find them. : )
     
  19. 36DD

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,790
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    U.S.
    I'm sorry...I just sometimes think people are too impatient and want to force things to go according to their time lines. If you feel you are ready to make a move then go for it. I'm just saying that the moment will present itself...you will know what is right for you.
     
  20. 36DD

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,790
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    U.S.
    Oh yeah? Well I need to get laid too, but I am willing to wait for when it is right and I'm not going to rush it...so there...take that...Now will the time just hurry up so I can get laid? Aaauuuggghhhh!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted