Girlfriend potential or just friend?

[Lampwick]

Jesus. I was all amped up to seize the day tomorrow until you said that 36DD.

Seize the day tomorrow. But seizing the day tomorrow can mean one small step. Put your hand on her shoulder. If the opportunity presents itself, put your hand on hers. But do something.

You can do this with style and class, and if you start getting signals that that is not the direction that she has in mind, you haven't gone so over the top that you've destroyed the relationship. You may wind up in a perfectly good friendship with a woman who may have friends that she can recommend you to in good conscience.

 

[66057]

to36DD-No, that's half of the problem. My time-line has never worked, so now I'm having tons of trouble figuring out when the time actually is. I feel like I've wasted every minute of my life the last 5 years, and she's making my heart race constantly. I just don't want to fuck it up once more but not doing something about it. I am a daydreamer. I've never been a man of action. I feel I agree with what a lot of the previous posts from guys said. I'm more scared of saying "what if?" one more time then I am of her simply telling me she wasn't interested in me in that way. I don't understand why she'd go through all this trouble to get me around her if she didn't want to see if some sparks could fly.

 

[36DD]

to36DD-No, that's half of the problem. My time-line has never worked, so now I'm having tons of trouble figuring out when the time actually is. I feel like I've wasted every minute of my life the last 5 years, and she's making my heart race constantly. I just don't want to fuck it up once more but not doing something about it. I am a daydreamer. I've never been a man of action. I feel I agree with what a lot of the previous posts from guys said. I'm more scared of saying "what if?" one more time then I am of her simply telling me she wasn't interested in me in that way. I don't understand why she'd go through all this trouble to get me around her if she didn't want to see if some sparks could fly.

Then I'd say you are ready to make a move...if the thought of not making a move bothers you more than being rejected then you are ready...good luck, really...now go get her!:biggrin1:

 

[Lampwick]

...and do let us know how things work out, and know that we are all rooting for your happiness and success.

 

[Principessa]

Girls these days just don't have that innocence and don't respond to guys the way they would have back then, I'm assuming. Yes, you are correct.

Unfortunately, the girls I go out with are real feisty, and have that "different" quality about them, if you know what I mean. I know what you mean. However, since they tend to make you so nervous, maybe you need to forget your type. Maybe date women who aren't quite so feisty. Telling them they have beautiful eyes would make me a sap in their eyes, or someone who just sweet talks to get in their pants. I literally have no way of reading this girl. There was movies, beach, coffee, that sort of thing, and yet I have no idea if she'd want something more than friends with me.

Do you ever greet her with a kiss on the cheek and a hand on her lower back as you gently do so? That will work, it will give her pause and allow her to see you as more than a friend Good luck and keep us posted.

I'd say she's interested. Just make a move. Do you really value her friendship that much? Try to hold her hand, establish some physical contact, put your arm around her, hug her... you'll probably figure out by her nonverbal cues where you stand after you do some of that stuff. I know you're still young and don't have a lot of dating experience, so you might have to just try and kiss her if all else fails.

Just don't make the mistake of being too spineless to ever make a move. You'll regret that forever. Embarrassing and awkward deflected kiss? That you'll get over. Have some balls and go for it. Sounds like you could be in for a really rewarding relationship.[/quote]

That's sound advice take it!

 

[Lampwick]

Unfortunately, the girls I go out with are real feisty, and have that "different" quality about them, if you know what I mean. Telling them they have beautiful eyes would make me a sap in their eyes...

You know, on reflection I had one more thought on this. You may be completely wrong about thinking that telling her that she has beautiful eyes would make you look like a sap. Does she have beautiful eyes? Would you mean it if you said it?

She may not ever have had anyone tell her that for fear of looking like a sap. The most beautiful woman I ever went out with did not go to her high school prom. No one asked her. They all thought that she was impossibly pretty and wouldn't possibly go out with someone as ordinary as them. They were wrong. She would've gone out with a decent guy who treated her well, and they would've had a good time, just like the other human beings at the prom.

And sometimes the 'feisty ones' have a weak spot for someone telling them something like that... if you mean it, and the time is right.

 

[36DD]

That's a good point Lampwick just made...just because a girl is beautiful doesn't mean she always hears it and even if she does, it only means something when it comes from someone who is sincere. Also, sometimes the feisty ones aren't...they are just hiding behind that image because they are softees and afraid of getting hurt...I should know...been there.

 

[66057]

Yeah, don't get me wrong. I think she's gorgeous. My issue is that she probably has to deal with 5 or 6 guys trying to get in her pants that way on a daily basis. I'm not one of those guys and I don't want to come off as such.

 

[36DD]

Yeah, don't get me wrong. I think she's gorgeous. My issue is that she probably has to deal with 5 or 6 guys trying to get in her pants that way on a daily basis. I'm not one of those guys and I don't want to come off as such.

If you are sincere you won't...it's that simple.

 

[Jovial]

ampblaster, have your ever drank alcohol on a date with her? This was the kind of thing I was getting at in my thread http://www.lpsg.org/70034-alcohol-and-the-dating-game.html. If you both got a little drunk I'd think the sex would happen and this wouldn't be an issue.

 

[B_icem]

Talk about sex with her. A sex joke, watching a sexy movie, or just flirtatious sexual innuendos might help. Guage her reactions and maybe you can get a glimpse of whether or not she is thinking about sex with you. If she likes you, as you like her, she is thinking about it. At least it will let her know you are thinking about sex, and that might plant the seed for her as well.

"Thats what she said" seems to work :biggrin1::tongue:

 

[66057]

It's almost creepy you brought that up Icem. That's been the running gag with us so far.

No alcohol. She's completely independent of that stuff. She's smoked a little weed and gotten drunk before though, sure, but I think she generally looks down on people that need extra chemicals to have a good time.

Which is part of the fun, actually. As an addict/alcoholic, this may be exactly what I need to keep on the straight and narrow and finally build a meaningful relationship. Besides, I'm probably more nervous drunk than I am sober...but that's from years of abuse and acquired tolerance.

 

[Not_Punny]

Well, cutie, good luck. :wink:

My advice, for what it's worth, is to first ask a few questions like, "What kind of relationships are good? What kinds are you looking for?" "Where do you see yourself six months from now?"

This might sound kind of lame, but it sometimes helps to speak generally about relationships before getting involved in one. That way you both get a feel for what you're looking for.

And don't forget -- if she says some really whacky things, then you've just saved yourself a really whacky journey.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

I'm not going to say what everyone else is saying and tell you to just go for it...She sounds interested but may be confused as to what she herself is feeling. Good things are worth waiting for and I say not to rush it...take your time enjoying the time you spend with one another and when the time is right it will present itself...trust that the best will come out of it.

yeah then she'll start thinking of you as a friend that she doesn't want to get involved with for fear of "ruining" the relationship, or some other guy with balls will swoop in and steal her away from you. Hot cool girls don't usually stay single for very long.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

I'm with NineInchCock_160IQ on this one. There are a lot of ways to make pretty innocent physical contact and gauge the reaction. Put your hand on her shoulder. Put your hand on her forearm when you want to draw her attention to something. Helping her on with her coat is a great way to be making some contact. And when you make the contact, gauge her response. Does she flinch and draw away, or look at you, or smile, or what? And at some point, you'll be close together and you'll catch her looking at her (or she'll catch you looking at her), and you'll probably have a pretty good idea of whether a kiss is in order.

yes exactly. I wasn't arguing that you should just charge blindly in... just try to be physically connected and nominally affectionate in some way... you'll be able to tell a lot about how she's feeling toward you based on her reaction. Then.. if she reciprocates... don't be dickless and step it up when you feel its appropriate to do so. Girls don't like guys who are too timid to do anything when the girls are sending out their enigmatic "signals" that we're all supposed to magically pick up on.

 

[36DD]

yeah then she'll start thinking of you as a friend that she doesn't want to get involved with for fear of "ruining" the relationship, or some other guy with balls will swoop in and steal her away from you. Hot cool girls don't usually stay single for very long.

Beg to differ with you on that one NIC. I get alot of attention, but I am picky about with whom I have a relationship. It takes time to know someone.

 

[The Dragon]

What about trust and respect...
If she is a attractive girl she may just be fed up with getting the hard word being put on her.
Don't be in an all fired hurry to close the deal...that just puts you in the same class as all the other guys that have chased her.
Try Wooing the girl....a flower just for her..it might be a daisy or a rose..open doors, hold her hand, tell her she looks lovely, open doors....a small peck on the cheek to say hello...leave a short brush of the lips for good night and tell her then that you really enjoy being with her, it will turn into full scale kissing if the timing and chemistry is right.
It doesn't have to be a huge grand gesture..it's the small thoughtful things that mean the most.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Beg to differ with you on that one NIC. I get alot of attention, but I am picky about with whom I have a relationship. It takes time to know someone.

Go ahead and differ. I won't make you beg.

 

[36DD]

Go ahead and differ. I won't make you beg.

smart ass!:biggrin1:

 

[goodwood]

36 - if a guy does what he thinks will be the thing to get you, and you are having none of it, would you recognize that and suggest "Hey, what about trying THIS?" and suggesting something that you would like? Thankful for the suggestion, he does what you say and it works out for you both, wouldn't that be nice?
This poor kid is just trying to figure it out. And he is asking people who have been there before and this is what we offer him?
Come on folks. Help they kid out.