girlfriend question

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by williamhunter, Jun 7, 2005.

  1. williamhunter

    williamhunter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2005
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    I thought I'd drop a line here for some advice. I guess it probaley sounds like a silly question, but I'm in a serious relationship for, really, the first time in my life. I had a very good job, but got laid off about a month ago and am still looking for a new job. I really enjoy suprising my girlfriend with gifts and just anything to suprise her. Unfortunately with my lack of income (except for unemployment for now, thanks everyone) I can't afford much beyond my bills. Anyway have any advice on ways to suprise a girl that's on the cheap side? Thanks guys, appreciated as always.

    -Will
     
  2. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    hiding behind trees and jumping out shouting "BOO."
     
  3. Supportive Female

    Supportive Female New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2005
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    0
    Almost all supermarkets have a florist section, and they're far cheaper than ordering from a florist; you can also purchase smaller sizes, that are already arranged. Also, every week they have a special sale-priced item.

    If you live in an urban area, you'll have even more flower options from vendors who sell by the stem. Books can also make nice gifts, especially if it's a book she can use repeatedly as a reference for a hobby she has (birding, sports, ceramics, whatever).

    I'm working on the assumption that she's aware of your current employment situation. If she's a person of character, she won't give a damn about the actual value, she'll appreciate the thought.
     
  4. B_hungrick

    B_hungrick New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2005
    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles,CA
    Since you said you're in a serious relationship, try spending some quality time with her doing something she really likes to do. If you care about her that much then that ought to be fun & pleasurable for both of you. My girlfriend would rather just hang out with me than almost any other thing. I feel the same way about her. The best gift you can ever give her is your attention.
     
  5. summertime01

    summertime01 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2005
    Messages:
    208
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North Carolina
    First, I am female & I thought a female repsonse would help you here, too.
    I agree with & I'll add to hungrick's post: mY SO was in a similar situation for about 6 long months, and while he is employed now, he went through a divorce a couple years ago that completely wiped him out. (I know how that is, as that is my situation, too). I have always been fairly easy to please.

    A man with a plan, esp. something so sweet as a planned picnic, whisking me away for a drive or a walk after or during a hectic day,etc. will win me every time! And a planned hike, with a simple packed meal & a quick cup 'o joe in a local coffee shoppe at the end of the hike, is the absolute best! Lawn seats at a concert are fine with me, too! Walking downtown on a warm summer's night, & maybe stopping in for one quick drink somewhere, also, works for me.
    While gifts are nice, occasionally, or in conjuction with time spent together, I'd much rather spend quality time w/ my SO. Because he knows that planned time spent together (without a TV anywhere for miles & miles) means so much to me, when he does give me a gift, I really appreciate that to. I definitely want to show appreciation for it all!
    To many women, too, help with something like grocery shopping or shopping for something she may know nothing about, i.e. tires, or help with housecleaing, cleaning her car,etc. means so much. It sure does to me! I get overwhelmed often with all that is on my plate & many other women do to.
     
  6. Steve26

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2001
    Messages:
    844
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    350
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Hampshire + Massachusetts
    Hi, Will -- If money is short, I think you need to focus on giving your girlfriend "experiences" as opposed to giving her "things." Truth be told, even when money is no object, a meaningful experience together usually carries so much more weight in the long run than any object given as a gift -- after all, couples' lives together are made of shared experiences, not objects.

    Think up inexpensive day trips from wherever you live. Maybe the beach or a lake, maybe a particularly nice park, or an interesting historic site, or a quaint little town. These are all the better if you can pull them off as a surprise (which you said you like to do). Something I love to do to surprise my wife is waking her up on a Saturday morning and saying, "You have an hour to shower and pack for a weekend away" -- I usually won't even tell her where exactly we're headed as we're driving there. The suspense and surprise of it thrills her every time. :)

    You still have to eat, even if unemployed, so consider making special events of meals. I've yet to meet the woman whose heart isn't melted by a nice breakfast in bed. A picnic in a scenic spot on a gorgeous summer day is always great, as is a quiet but romantic dinner that you made at home. Meals like these will cost a bit more than the ramen noodles you're probably eating otherwise, but she'll love the gesture (and women are generally totally wowed by a guy who can do anything in the kitchen!)

    Hope this is helpful! Good luck with your girlfriend and with your job search!

    Steve :)
     
  7. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    Messages:
    5,402
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Louisiana
    No advice. I just had to comment because I had to reread this sentence a couple of times due to the wording ... "a girl that's on the cheap side" ... oops!
     
  8. vega

    vega Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2004
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ma
    If you have a good relationship it's not the gifts tht are making her happy.

    One of the best things you can do is suprise her with a nice dinner you cooked yourself. Learn what she likes and try to do a good job cooking it. From an economic standpoint it's a hell fo a lot cheaper than eating somewhere and from an emotional standpoint it means a lot more. It lets her know not only that you care about her likes but also taht you want to take care of her.

    Another thing is if you do his don't worry about screwing up. Try your best to make it as tasty as you can but if it's not exactly perfect don't sweat it. If she is any kind of decent human being she won't be thinking about the taste of the food very much. Chances are she will be thinking about how sweet you've been to do this for her.

    I would suggest some other things I've done but they may be a bit beyond your skill levels. I mean most of them include metal working, clothing design and building, or some major artistic talent.
     
  9. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    Great advice from everyone...The cooking a nice dinner thing was always a hit w/my ex-girlfriend...
     
  10. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2002
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CA
    Great advice....especially the flowers or flower.

    Since you can only go on interview when asked and can spend only so much time on the computer seeking leads, you might think about giving her some time. Yea, some quality time. But also, maybe painting the living room or creating a garden out of the patch of weeds.

    Physical labor and creating something is not only good for the phyche, but it can be something to say when you are asked on your interview, "What have you been doing?" It is a relief to the guy conducting the interview when you bs him about the new garden or deck. If he is like me, when he hears something positive, he cannot help but give you a strong recommendation.

    jay
     
  11. InsertHere

    InsertHere New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2004
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Okay, now I have enough to say to add a reply. That is a GREAT idea, Jay! I would never have thought about it, but creating (and continuing to care for) a garden for her would be really sweet, and very inexpensive - you can grow it from inexpensive seeds instead of overpriced and often weak nursery plants.

    I also wanted to second the giving time thing. I stopped to think about it and really, no matter how hard my boyfriend tries, I really don't care for his gifts as much as his time (I should be a bit more appreciative!) But I LOVE to give gifts, so I know how you feel.

    A single flower can be more romantic than a bunch, especially if you show up on her lunch hour to top it with a kiss!

    Also, be creative. Channel your artsy-craftsy side. Try making or decorating a picture frame with a picture of the two of you, or make a photo album. Start a journal of all your good times together; address every entry to her, like a letter ("Today we took a walk down by the river; do you remember?"), and give her the journal when it's full.

    And to cooking, add baking. Make her some cookies, brownies, tarts, cupcakes, whatever. You can leave these at her house/apartment as a surprise, give them to her in person or - even better! - propose baking them together. You have to promise me to get in a messy play fight at least once, though - throw flour at each other and shower together!

    I hope these ideas can help you out, and good luck on your job search!
     
  12. Aruba 1st

    Aruba 1st Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Apache Junction, Arizona
    Stunned, by these excellent suggestions.
    Wow.
     
  13. ashlar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Messages:
    2,013
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Harrisburg, Pa.
    I think i've just fallen in love with you.

    Why do all the romantic ones have to be girls damnit!

    *pouts*
     
  14. ashlar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Messages:
    2,013
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Harrisburg, Pa.
    Then what? ;)
     
  15. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    Then what? ;)
    [post=320856]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    then threaten her with a knife and steal her purse.

    shit, wait, no that's the OTHER reason for jumping out from behind trees. I really gotta stop getting those two mixed up
     
  16. ashlar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Messages:
    2,013
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Harrisburg, Pa.
    then threaten her with a knife and steal her purse.

    shit, wait, no that's the OTHER reason for jumping out from behind trees. I really gotta stop getting those two mixed up
    [post=320902]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    I don't carry purse ... But the knife thing might be a bit of a turn on ;P
     
  17. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    Lots of excellent suggestions here. You may even find that once you get in the habit of the more personal things you do for her, the purchased gifts are not nearly as good.

    I have written a little poetry. I really didn't think I had it in me, but I worked at it. I took my thoughts and feelings, looked for a little symbolism and a few metaphors, then put it on paper. It took a while, because I didn't want it to sound like Dr. Seuss, or really horrible sing-song stuff I hear people present as poetry. I ended up with some things that I have been told sound a bit like Robert Frost.

    Also, try some paint or pastels or pencil or crayons, and so a little something creative. Doesn't have to end up in the National Gallery, but just express your feelings toward her. My partner has children, so I wanted to do something nice for him for Father's Day. Buying "stuff" is out of the question, as he already owns most everything he needs/wants (within my price range, anyway, I can't get him a new car or new house..) He likes lighthouses, so I found a picture, and did a pastel drawing of it. It isn't fabulous, but I actually think it looks pretty good. We will see what he thinks of it, come Sunday!

    Use your imagination, you really are unlimited as to what you can do for her, without pulling out the plastic and spending a fortune. Good luck!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted