Girlfriend ran back to Ex out-of-the-blue

[niptuck9]

Viper -

I'm new here but not new to female antics. Rest assured karma will come her way and all you can do is sit back and enjoy the show (try to anyway). People like this will always have an empty hole in their soul and it more than likely will never be filled completely. Breathe easy man, for her time will come. The best part is she'll never see it coming.

 

[D_yabbadabbadont]

You tried wacking off. You need to release the valve buddy.

 

[8dot75]

\I can offer no more condolence than "you will heal, and you will find someone else. "
I hope , in the future, man, you are treated right.
that won't do SQUAT for now.. but I hope it helps a bit.


You'll survive, and you will thrive!
Peace be with you.

 

[dlfellow]

Yesterday, about 9am my phone rings. On the other end it's my girlfriend. First words out of her mouth were "Please sit down, I need to tell you something?"

I'm like... 'ok' (Thinking someone died or something)

She then goes on to tell me that she just found out that her ex-husband (they've been divorced 4 years and her and we had been seeing each other for the last 3) has transferred back (they used to work together) and now OUR relationship is over!

I was like 'wtf'.... She basically kicked me to the curb (not even in person but over the phone). Like the three years we were together hadn't even existed.

I told her I'd like a better reason than that. Her response was that Greg (the Ex) and her were 'more compatible'.... WTF is that supposed to mean?

In all the time we'd been dating we only had one significant issue... That being that made me feel like a sex toy most of the time and I was just there to please her. She wanted to cum 3-4 times, but didn't want to reciprocate. She let me cum once and she'd be done for the night. (I can cum more than once on most occassions with very little refractory period inbetween). BJ's mad her feel like a slut, handjobs and even precum are gross.... Ugggghhh! All were flat out-of-the-question.

I was getting frustraited but came to accept that that was just one of her hangups and that I had to deal with it one way or another. I dropped the subject entirely. A buddy of mine and I found a solution to that problem since he was having the same thing at home so it was pretty much not going to be an issue any longer.

We rarely argued, had the same likes/dislikes, etc. I just can't figure out where things went so very wrong

I feel like I was just in her life as a commercial until she could get back to the main program! I'm beginning to wonder if she was just bat shit crazy to begin with -- seemed sane -- and I either didn't see it or didn't want to see it.

Needless to say I broke three picture frames, burned an entire photo album, changed my locks and downed about a half bottle of Jack and am finally starting to feel better -- sans the headache.

Thoughts? Comments? I'm trying to figure out what went wrong and pickup the pieces and figure out where to go from here.

maaaaaan i feel for ya and i can relate.
i went through almost the same thing you did,but my ex broke up with me by E-MAIL(and we were living in the same house)
i lost the house,got my cars repoed,and i had just been laid off.plus my dad had just passed away from a long fight with kidney disease.
and the funny part was i was close to 30 grand in the hole from helping her get out of debt.(i was doing the manly thing,helpin' out my woman..LOL)
i was at an all-time low in my life,and if it wasn't for my mom(i love that woman)i would've been homeless.but i got another job,and just this past Febuary i'm all out of debt.yeah,my credit sucks,but i don't owe any money to anybody.
it used to eat me up alot how things went down,but i'm better off.
just move on without her.

 

[Viper73]

You tried wacking off. You need to release the valve buddy.

Yes... That was my first idea before I solicited my buddy. Came harder and cum a fuck load significantly more than ever but it only intensified the urge further and made it much worse.

I can't even adequately describe the feeling.... My balls and cock physically ache like they're on autopilot and just feel like they need to explode. It's actually scary.

 

[Incocknito]

Significant issue is significant.

I actually had a similar thing happen tonight. You will get over it and if you act cool like I do then they will come running back.

At the end of our conversation she was beginning to question if she had make the right decision, picking me over this other guy. She said "Have I made the wrong decision then?"

I'm not really arsed though, there are loads of women out there. All for the shake and baking.

 

[dolfette]

call me a prude, but if you've been cheating on her with this guy for months then how are you the innocent victim? there's a lot of slamming on her going on and no mention of this. the relationship wasn't going great if there was lying and cheating going on under her nose. this all seems a bit pot & kettle to me.

 

[LaFemme]

It doesn't sound like a great relationship - sexually the two of you were so incompatible that you started cheating on her. The end of a relationship is painful, but this is ultimately probably for the best.

Maybe she shouldn't have divorced. Maybe despite what happened in her marriage, that guy was The One. Sometimes we star in our own love stories and sometimes we have a bit part in someone else's.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Open501s,

I thought about that, but she was more than sexually happy herself or it sure looked that way... She'd typically cum 3-5 times before the main event. And usually once or twice more during stroking, but after I came, she was done for the night.

I even considered the possibility that she was faking it but she was so wet, her breathing, contractions, etc. It was too much to fake and she appeared in absolute pleasure.

I can fake all of that. All of it. Not saying she was, but... maybe. Anyway, maybe she knows you're a cheater. Maybe Greg doesn't want handies and blow-jays. Maybe she was never over him. Maybe there's stuff you havent' told us. Maybe there's stuff yo can't admit to. A whole lot of maybes. The bottom line is, it's over. Some people are only in your life for a reason or a season. Your best bet is to live in the moment. This moment sucks, the next might be better.

 

[Viper73]

Found out an unexpected piece to this puzzle that I didn't know about last night...

A buddy of mine who works with Liz called me to offer his sympathies. He was actually the one who introduced us to one and other.

To give you a little background, about 5-6 weeks ago Liz had to fly to Fort Worth for some training that her employer was doing (or that at least was what I was told at the time).

During the course of my conversation with my buddy he mentioned that he was afraid something was wrong because apparently Liz took a week off a while back to handle a personal issue.

Since to the best of my knowledge neither of us had taken any time off work, I asked him how the Fort Worth training went. Since they work together both would have had to go. He was dumbfounded and said 'what Fort Worth training?'

We talked a little further and discovered that her 'mystery' training and the week of personal time matched. He then pointed out that Fort Worth and Dallas share an airport (a fact which didn't even occur to me).

So, it appears that during that week she flew down to Dallas to jump back into the sack with the Ex. Now EVERYTHING makes sense!

I feel like a complete idiot

 

[Viper73]

call me a prude, but if you've been cheating on her with this guy for months then how are you the innocent victim? there's a lot of slamming on her going on and no mention of this.

Let me set the record straight... My friend and I haven't done anything yet. We've discussed it since he is also having similar problems in his marriage.

And to quote my ex the last time I asked for a little 'special' attention... "Can't you take care of that yourself?"

Well all we did was look into taking her advice.

 

[Sklar]

It makes sense but I've never experienced anything like this feeling.... It's like blue balls and super horny x 1000000. It beyond anything I've ever felt before. It like I have to constantly remember I am civilized or I'd fuck the first human that walks by as hard and long as I can. It's actually kind of a frightening feeling that I'm honestly not 100% comfortable I can control.

I was going out after work but came home instead because I'm kind of scaring myself.

I wonder if this is why rape happens? It's really disconcerting.

Sorry about deleting some of the original post, Viper.

To me, what you are feeling is perfectly natural for someone who has been used and abused by someone else. It's not your body doing this, it's your subconcious trying to reassert control of an unfair situation.

You just want to go out and dominate/fuck someone until all of your energy is spent.which I think is a healthy thing to do as long as the other person is willing.



But here's a question for you. If SHE is gone from your life, why are you fixatin on your MALE friend who is questioning this? Go find a willing woman who just wants to be fucked silly and get it out of your system.

Sklar

 

[D_JohnUpHerPipe]

Yeah, you pretty much can't compete with a memory i.e. the ex husband. In her mind she will make him perfect, in reality, she will go screw him, get back into a relationship and then remember why they divorced in the first place. You are far from the innocent victim if you cheated, but still got to feel for you. As for your primal urge, sounds strange, just have a wank if you want to cum. Unless you really feel that emasculated, go pump iron in the gym and show off some muscle.

 

[Viper73]

But here's a question for you. If SHE is gone from your life, why are you fixatin on your MALE friend who is questioning this? Go find a willing woman who just wants to be fucked silly and get it out of your system.

Just to again clarify, my buddy and I haven't done ANYTHING yet other than discuss our mutual situations and the options available to us. (I'm not quite sure if that would constitute cheating or not but at least I didn't run off to Dallas and tell her I was essentially at work!)

I think part of it is that I don't really have what you'd call a large group of supportive friends. Most of the friends I did have were more or less her friends prior to us getting together and became my 'friends' (more like acquaintances) by association.

The whole 'rebound fuck' thing just isn't me. I've had women do that to me in the past and I'd never do that to someone. After just being hurt myself it wouldn't be right to do that to someone else who'd probably be looking for a true relationship.

If my past experiences are any indication, I think my best bet is to drop even seeking a relationship for a while and let my emotions get back under control so I can be level headed about it.

My buddy and I have been friends since we started kindergarten together. Whenever either of us is upset, frustraited, or just needs to talk to someone we're the first each other calls. We know each other better than probably anyone else in our lives do. Neither of us have close family around so we're kindof like family to each other.

 

[B_penispenispenis37]

DUDE - you should be happy!

She had no interest in pleasuring you. She didn't think you were important and used you as her fuck-stick. Go find a better one! It is a shame she fucked with your emotions - but what can you do now? Nothing except for finding a nice girl that wants to suck your dick ALL THE TIME. That is what you deserve. That is what we all deserve. I'm not talking about a rebound fuck, I'm talking about someone that ACTUALLY cares about you.

Don't even acknowledge the people that said you complained about sex to much - they are likely as prude, selfish, and unwilling as she is. You have needs, man. Find someone who would even CONSIDER trying to meet them.

 

[Gecko4lif]

Open501s,

I thought about that, but she was more than sexually happy herself or it sure looked that way... She'd typically cum 3-5 times before the main event. And usually once or twice more during stroking, but after I came, she was done for the night.

I even considered the possibility that she was faking it but she was so wet, her breathing, contractions, etc. It was too much to fake and she appeared in absolute pleasure.

And?

You think your the only guy who can make her cum?

 

[B_penispenispenis37]

And?

You think your the only guy who can make her cum?

The problem here is not how much she was getting satisfied - it is how much he wasn't getting satisfied. His point his that by many standards he is at least an adequate lover. She left him because she is a bitch.

 

[dolfette]

Let me set the record straight... My friend and I haven't done anything yet. We've discussed it since he is also having similar problems in his marriage.

And to quote my ex the last time I asked for a little 'special' attention... "Can't you take care of that yourself?"

Well all we did was look into taking her advice.

thank you for clarifying.

 

[MarkLondon]

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you should count yourself lucky she's gone. I think your sexual urges are your subconscious realisation of that, mixed with a need for your own sexual satisfaction as opposed to hers after she has used you for so long.

But I don't think it would be sensible to involve your life-long buddy in this in a carnal way. You'll need him to talk things through with and as a supporter of you. Having any sort of sex with him will only cloud the issues and risk fundamentally changing the nature of your relationship with him for the worse. Loyal friends are far more important than fickle lovers.

If neccessary, have a brief safe encounter with a horny stranger. Easier said than done, I know...

 

[helgaleena]

Sklar is wise. Listen to Sklar. Just don't forget your rubbers.