we've been talking about this on another thread about what makes a lover your best....
some of us cite the best as not being with a guy that made us come or not or whether an ex was hung or not.
another woman cited that her man was hung but wasn't enough to keep a marriage together.
You are doing the right things to ask what she likes and if you're doing those things and she is still having sex with you and still wants to have sex with you, I wouldn't wrap my head around her ex being hung.
She was with him for 10 years and it wasn't enough, she was honest with you about it. Only you can decide if you are not feeling connected to her or not. She was in a LONG relationship with a hung man. You are just zoning in on the HUNG part. You said you can get her there orally. Yet internal oragasm from outer is different.
You JUST started having sex with her. You asked her a loaded question about how she physically resonds not being what you hoped for. She gave you a physical explanation as to why.
Notice, she didn't say she was married to one man for 10 years and getting acquainted with someone new and trying to assimilate chemistry and connection from love and connection (her failed marriage that she hoped would last). Would that have scared you off?
There's a lot more to her background and you are putting a lot of pressure on this for someone that you just starting having a sexual relationship with. Coming out of a long relationship, has it's challenge, not just sexually and it will take a little time.
If you feel like you are wasting your time and you feel slighted by what she is telling you that you are not adequate, versus her needing time to get it right, that's for you to decide what is right for you. If it makes you feel better to bash her as inconsiderate, that's another option available to you.
You said you felt chemistry with her...yet there is baggage in her past. You said she just started dating. All of that is really soon to be gaging her interest level in you and feeling belittled by your dick size. She may just still be getting used to having sex with someone that isn't her life partner any more and no matter how much you like and feel turned on by someone, that takes some adjustment etc.