girlfriend whos friends are ALL guys, problem?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Grimes, May 4, 2011.

  1. Grimes

    Grimes Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    816
    Similar to Elaine Benes, my current girlfriend has all guys as friends, should there be concern?
     
  2. tigolbitties

    tigolbitties New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2008
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah.. If she's hot, they all want to fuck her. So if you get in a fight and she goes to them....
     
  3. sodominsane

    sodominsane Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2010
    Messages:
    146
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    ny
    na...one of my exs was always as she put it "the only taco at a sausage convention".....all her friends were guys.....and they were just that....friends.....

    after we split....we remained pals.....she has fucked at least 9 guys.....not one was one of her friends............

    most girls have no problem finding guys to fuck...so they really dont nead to dip into friend pile
     
  4. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2010
    Messages:
    828
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    754
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto
    Its only a problem if you dont trust her.
     
  5. Incocknito

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Messages:
    2,567
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    La monde
    Personally, I don't see how a girl can have a guy "friend". Always, one or both parties will be attracted to and "want" the other.

    Now, I suppose the girl can just say "no" but some guys are very persistent. Having said that perhaps I know not whereof I speak since I don't really have any female friends. Acquaintances, yes but there are no girls I have drinks with or do hobby activities with (besides shagging).

    So you should probably just go with the flow. Trust her to be able to say "no" and trust that none of her friends are sleazy types that might take advantage of her when she's drunk. Although some would say drunken actions are the acting out of sober thoughts.

    So meh!
     
  6. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,462
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,567
    Location:
    United States
    This is stupid. If she wanted to fuck them, she already would be. She's not likely to be keeping them around as emergency fucks.

    I have mostly male friends. I am friends with some men I used to fuck, but I do not fuck them anymore, and have no desire to fuck them again. If I wanted to keep fucking them, I wouldn't have stopped in the first place. The ones I never fucked were always just friends, and it would be almost like incest to fuck them now. I have no interest in having any sexual contact with any of my male friends. A woman is either trustworthy, or she isn't. The people in her environment have nothing to do with that.
     
    #6 AlteredEgo, May 5, 2011
    Last edited: May 5, 2011
  7. Tristain1675

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2010
    Messages:
    321
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    849
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fairfax (VA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Attached: What this just reminded me of.
     

    Attached Files:

  8. CrookedHalo

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2011
    Messages:
    550
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    378
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Midwest Farmer's Daughter (I really am!)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I agree with most of the previous posters. The majority (by a lot) of my friends are guys, and it's been this way my whole life. While our friendships are quite candid, we aren't naked playmates. I found that sleeping with a friend can change the disposition of that friendship, and likely bring it to an end. As much as I love sex (and I REALLY DO!!!!!), I care way too much about our friendships to throw them away over a f#ck.
     
  9. ChicagoSW

    ChicagoSW Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago
    I would say it depends on how long she's had these guy friends.

    Is she making new guy friends rather often or does she have a small, core group of friends that she's known for decades?
     
  10. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    I don't relate to women in that chatty but intimate way known as 'girl talk' very much. I wasn't subjected to a lot of the fashionista indoctrination that they were, growing up with artists and intellectuals around.My formative years we moved so often that I got used to leaving school friends behind and living far away from cousins. So many of my interests and hobbies are somewhat masculine, though actually bohemian enough for both sexes. My gay acquaintances of both sexes tend to have more 'feminine' interests than me when it comes to popular culture.

    So yes, I look for just friends who are men and am sometimes surprised when they act romantic and have to hose them off. I've been hosed off myself, by both sexes when I read signals wrong and got infatuated. It happens.

    Don't deny a person their friendships or you will make them an uncomfortably intimate enemy. Ex lovers can wound better than anyone because they got closer than friends do, biologically close.
     
  11. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Exactly! :tongue:
     
  12. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2011
    Messages:
    1,439
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida

    I lol'ed at this comic!

    But yes I agree, whatever your jealousy issues may be they are just that, YOUR ISSUES. She should be able to be friends with whomeever she chooses. If one particular friend makes you uneasy, talk to her about it. But besides that its mostly an insecure issue.
     
  13. TroMag

    TroMag New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2009
    Messages:
    477
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    This would be a red flag for me.
     
  14. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    poor Tromag, so sensitive. :sad:
     
  15. nateis8

    nateis8 Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2011
    Messages:
    53
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    197
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago (IL, US)
    I prefer the word "realistic", red flag for me too
     
  16. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    But why?
     
  17. Remington

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2010
    Messages:
    1,634
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington/Arizona
    Verified:
    Photo
    This.^

    And if you don't trust her, why are you with her?
     
  18. TroMag

    TroMag New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2009
    Messages:
    477
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Here's a hint. It's not because all her guy friends want to fuck her (which they do, if she's attractive). As someone noted above, if a woman wants to cheat, she can always find a man to do it with even if she has zero male friends.

    It's a red flag for me because a woman who keeps mostly male friends to the exclusion of female friends is telegraphing something about her personality. She's fine for a fling, but I pity the fool who entrusts his heart and his finances (via marriage) to such a woman.
     
  19. Ben_c

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    1,089
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Newcastle upon Tyne (GB)
    If shes a flirt and you dont particularly trust her then yeah it could be a major problem. However, thats not to say all women are the same some women just do have guy freinds sometimes just because they've always seemed to get on better with guys. On the other hand it could show that she has a history of pissing off women by flirting with their guys hence why she has no female freinds. Just look out for her spending more time with freinds than with you, avoiding contact with you in favour of her freinds and persistant remarks about particular 'freinds'. Notice any of these signs, pull the plug on her.
     
    #19 Ben_c, May 5, 2011
    Last edited: May 5, 2011
  20. Gecko4lif

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2010
    Messages:
    2,294
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    26
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pensacola , Fl
Draft saved Draft deleted