Girlfriends ex's penis sizes

[DoctorDoom]

Back to OP, I with my gf have had similar conversations about her exes (we didn't venture into adding it to our sex life/foreplay tho).

So yeah, she told me about having been with one guy that basically had a "monster" dick and that it left her sore for days. A little shot to my ego due to some clearly off basis beliefs that I want to be the biggest a girl has been with. Other than that, she has always felt uncomfortable about telling me the size of her past partners and what not, telling me that I'm very big and that I have nothing to worry about. I know that I'm pretty high on the size list cuz I know she loves to brag about me and all that. Things anal were even out of the question, even tho she had had it before comfortably and with no pain and was able to take a pretty good intensity with smaller tools. (No we still can't have anal sex comfortably cuz of my size haha)

All that to say that I was curious, and still am a little bit at times but there's no real worries about it. I have been with girls for which I've ended up being the biggest they've been with but size is never something that matters to them in the long run.

 

[rope9839]

hi all

Bit of a strange one really, and certainly bothering me a little.

I'm a modest 7x5 but I'm constantly quizzing my GF about her ex's size. She's admitted that my size is perfect and I've given her more orgasms in the last year with my cock than she's ever had in her whole life. So has no complaints at that.

However, I get insanely jealous when I her if one of her ex partners is larger than me. She has slept with about 15 guys and said she only had 2 bigger than me. One absolutely huge, longer and girthier and one shorter but really really fat.

When she tells me I feel totally sick with jealousy, but then it starts to turn me on, thinking about her with them. I have a great relationship with her and she assures me constantly. We've started using this cock jealousy in role play as well, last week when she revealed to me about the short but really fat cock (after I'd pressed and pressed her) I immediately wanted her to give me head and make derogatory comments about my cock in comparison. She admits to enjoying doing this but only as she knows it turns me on.

Please help me understand this, I know I'm not small but I know I'm not huge either. I'm not looking for reassurance on my size. Just to understand this state of mind

"When she tells me I feel totally sick with jealousy"

I think you are creating your own problem. Asking constantly about exes is actually pretty annoying for most people in a relationship. Asking constantly about their cock sizes would seem really insecure. Sure if it comes up once, but I can't imagine trying to initiate this a few times. That is, unless you and she are look for a cuckold situation. Problem is, at 7" you aren't small.

I hate to be blunt, but if you keep pushing this issue, my guess is that you won't have the girl for long and that you even run the risk of have negative psychological effects on your sexual performance over the long run.

I have an opposite example. For awhile I went out with a very nice girl, lots going for her. For the purpose of the story, she was well kept but no bombshell and it was fair to say her vagina was very loose and lacked much muscle tone. These two opinions wouldn't have been that big a deal except she constantly used to look at you and say "Tell me I'm pretty." Like 20 times a night. When you had sex she kept saying "Tell me how tight my pussy is!" It wasn't. The combination was very off putting.

 

[ignatius4446z]

I have an opposite example. For awhile I went out with a very nice girl, lots going for her. For the purpose of the story, she was well kept but no bombshell and it was fair to say her vagina was very loose and lacked much muscle tone. These two opinions wouldn't have been that big a deal except she constantly used to look at you and say "Tell me I'm pretty." Like 20 times a night. When you had sex she kept saying "Tell me how tight my pussy is!" It wasn't. The combination was very off putting.

That would fuck me off too. I hate being put in a position where I need to lie anyway and if it happened during sex then that would be even more of a buzzkill. It also smacks of insecurity on the part of the person doing the asking and that's another terrible turn off.

I really can't understand guys who get off on their gf telling them about other guys (big or not) as if I'm in love with someone then I wish I had been with them all of our lives and so her having sex with another guy is something I wish had never happened and I want it as far from my mind as possible. In fact just typing this message about those sort of things kind of bothers me.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

I can't help liking that I'm better in bed than a previous boyfriend. When it has to do with size it turns me on more. I know it's wrong but I can't help it. I have known ex bfs with reportedly small penii, and I felt genuinely bad for them, but at the same time it makes me feel good about my dick and myself. I feel pretty shallow for getting off on myself like that.

 

[7x5_BlkStud]

I enjoy this as well

 

[BeauxEast]

An ex of mine told me her current bf asked if he was her biggest. Finding out I was made him pretty upset. It didn't lead to me and her hooking up again, but it sparked up some pretty steamy conversations. In the end we got a good laugh out of the fact it bothered him so much.

 

[svrocks]

Seems to me like a fetish. No harm in that as long as it doesn't affect the relationship. It seems to be doing its part to improve your sex life even so well done.

 

[Shroomenstein]

Don't sweat the ex. We all have history.

 

[twoton]

It's been stated before, but might be worth repeating: She's with you now. So no matter how jealous you might be of the bigger guys.....she's not missing them.

And for my story--before we were married my wife said, basically, 'if the sex wasn't good I wouldn't have stayed with you.'

Basically.

What she really said was, "If the sex wasn't good there wouldn't have been a second time."

 

[deleted924715]

I think these feelings are natural and instinctual. You might find this clip interesting. A study of pornography internet searches by neuroscientists.

Yeah, that was interesting!

 

[Fencepost]

hi all

Bit of a strange one really, and certainly bothering me a little.

I'm a modest 7x5 but I'm constantly quizzing my GF about her ex's size. She's admitted that my size is perfect and I've given her more orgasms in the last year with my cock than she's ever had in her whole life. So has no complaints at that.

However, I get insanely jealous when I her if one of her ex partners is larger than me. She has slept with about 15 guys and said she only had 2 bigger than me. One absolutely huge, longer and girthier and one shorter but really really fat.

When she tells me I feel totally sick with jealousy, but then it starts to turn me on, thinking about her with them. I have a great relationship with her and she assures me constantly. We've started using this cock jealousy in role play as well, last week when she revealed to me about the short but really fat cock (after I'd pressed and pressed her) I immediately wanted her to give me head and make derogatory comments about my cock in comparison. She admits to enjoying doing this but only as she knows it turns me on.

Please help me understand this, I know I'm not small but I know I'm not huge either. I'm not looking for reassurance on my size. Just to understand this state of mind

My ex's ex husband was huge- bigger than me. He was also a total asshole and did not care about her feelings or pleasure- only getting his rocks off. She told me that in 22 years, she NEVER had an orgasm with him. On our first night together, she had three. Do not obsess about this, dude. If she loves you and has pleasure in sex with you, then you are a lucky man.

 

[Uncutpete]

This topic is like a litmus test for guys' attitudes. So many guys are telling him not to feel what he feels. Others are trying to make him feel better, when in fact he is liking the experience of his wife telling him about her bigger cocked lovers. That is, he experiences the sting of jealousy, and then the excitement of imagining his wife with the bigger man. These obsessions are very common. Every husband of every wife I fuck has feelings that are pretty similar.

My theory is that difference in cock size sparks something very primal in some men... in many many men. Before monogamy, when humans lived in our original bands and small tribes, before full agriculture, fucking was more collective, often in groups, and a woman sought as many partners as possible to have as many protectors of her children as possible. Cock size was an issue in sexual attraction, and for choosing her partners. That's why humans, small or large, evolved the biggest penises of all primates. The feelings of dominance and submission, jealousy and power that attach to penis size, come from this far back in human development. We lived this way vastly longer than we have lived in civilization. It is natural that our feelings about sex are influenced by those ancient cultures in which we spent so much time of human history.

 

[Sally Ann]

If I can tell you ONE thing that I have learned from having a cucked husband (who turns me on immensely!!!)

What she is telling you during sex is what she KNOWS YOU WANT TO HEAR! Do not hold it against her outside of the bedroom. This is role play and her comments should not be taken seriously. She is only saying what she knows will turn you on. It is highly doubtful that she would ever want to have anyone other than you again, especially if she has already told you such before. Don't listen to other guys. PLEASE, for the sake of your relationship, keep the cucking only in the bedroom and don't let it interfere with the rest of your relationship.

I don't know her, but I know where we have been and I've said many things that were not completely true because I knew it turned him on. I also told him in the bedroom and out of the bedroom that this was only role play. I only want one person in my bed.. HIM.

Excellent answer and advice!

 

[Wantanine]

I understand it, but I get the same feeling if my GF comments on a huge cock on TV or a tumblr.

Also, do you get turned on seeing a cock bigger than your own?

Yes, and I love hearing about my wife's sexual past. I don't know why.

 

[KengoNaininchi]

Honestly, I don't get you at all. From what you've said, you have this beautiful relationship with a very understanding woman, and lots of fun. From your gallery we see she is hot, open-minded; you are gorgeous, and with a beautiful dick.
Now you look all grown up and I would have expected people to understand by certain age that penis size is only important to those who are not important to you (or shouldn't be).
I'm not really sure what are you trying to accomplish by talking with her about other dicks she's had before, especially when you know there were biggers before (of course there are bigger penises, you know that through these 4 years on this forum at the least), when clearly it upsets you. They were a bit bigger but not good enough a company, so you definitelly came out as a winner.

I'm sorry but I also can't understand this state of mind of yours, i'd say give it a rest and enjoy the great relationship you have, stop wondering and just forget about it. Pursuing this can only lower your moral in the long run, for no reason when you look so stunning.
Good luck.

My thinking is that it probably triggers a basic urge to dominate, despite the more outward appearance of being a submissive act. I'm thinking that in some part of the man's brain he has to compensate to out perform the larger man since the size is equated with quality. So as a natural response he is aroused. I haven't had this happen. My current girlfriend says she had slept with a guy who was 9" but also says that my dick is too big for her and I'm not 9". Maybe he just told her it was 9" and she believed him. Don't care to ask really, this stuff isn't my cup of tea.

 

[Trott.lint]

This topic is like a litmus test for guys' attitudes. So many guys are telling him not to feel what he feels. Others are trying to make him feel better, when in fact he is liking the experience of his wife telling him about her bigger cocked lovers. That is, he experiences the sting of jealousy, and then the excitement of imagining his wife with the bigger man. These obsessions are very common. Every husband of every wife I fuck has feelings that are pretty similar.

My theory is that difference in cock size sparks something very primal in some men... in many many men. Before monogamy, when humans lived in our original bands and small tribes, before full agriculture, fucking was more collective, often in groups, and a woman sought as many partners as possible to have as many protectors of her children as possible. Cock size was an issue in sexual attraction, and for choosing her partners. That's why humans, small or large, evolved the biggest penises of all primates. The feelings of dominance and submission, jealousy and power that attach to penis size, come from this far back in human development. We lived this way vastly longer than we have lived in civilization. It is natural that our feelings about sex are influenced by those ancient cultures in which we spent so much time of human history.

The theory I've read that comes closest to my belief in why some men get turned on by the thought of their SOs having had bigger lovers in the past is this: men are essentially competitive and get more turned on and produce more sperm when they believe the object of their affections might have fucked a 'competitor' (for want of a better word). Studies show that men who think their wives are having affairs, produce more sperm in order to over compensate for the possibility that their wives are unfaithful. In addition, there are studies (I can't claim to know exactly which, but there was a book written on this), that shows a woman having an affair is more likely to fall pregnant from the lover than her primary partner - particularly if the primary guy doesn't suspect anything is going on. The reason? The lover, knowing that he's 'competing' in a sense, produces more semen and the woman, being subconsciously more reproductively receptive to the new guy than to her primary, is more likely to conceive.

Just a theory - but it would explain why the idea of competition turns men on so much that it can be eroticised in this case. Also, I'd imagine there's far more reason for a small dick guy to get horny over this - because the competition he faces is much more widespread - than a guy with a big dick, who may not feel the need to have to compete as aggressively.

 

[Uncutpete]

I agree... I'm just saying this kind of competition goes back to our earliest social groups, and sexual culture. Competition was right out in the open. Men weren't just imagining women fucking other men, they were seeing it happen, a lot.

 

[BiggMikey]

hi all

Bit of a strange one really, and certainly bothering me a little.

I'm a modest 7x5 but I'm constantly quizzing my GF about her ex's size. She's admitted that my size is perfect and I've given her more orgasms in the last year with my cock than she's ever had in her whole life. So has no complaints at that.

However, I get insanely jealous when I her if one of her ex partners is larger than me. She has slept with about 15 guys and said she only had 2 bigger than me. One absolutely huge, longer and girthier and one shorter but really really fat.

When she tells me I feel totally sick with jealousy, but then it starts to turn me on, thinking about her with them. I have a great relationship with her and she assures me constantly. We've started using this cock jealousy in role play as well, last week when she revealed to me about the short but really fat cock (after I'd pressed and pressed her) I immediately wanted her to give me head and make derogatory comments about my cock in comparison. She admits to enjoying doing this but only as she knows it turns me on.

Please help me understand this, I know I'm not small but I know I'm not huge either. I'm not looking for reassurance on my size. Just to understand this state of mind

You have a deep need to be humiliated and she obviously knows it, and she is taking advantage of it. You should NEVER ask that question; you're just setting yourself up.