Girlfriend's Friend

AlteredEgo

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Yeah, I agree. It's the ex gf that caused this drama by talking about the private parts of her bf. Imagine the original poster talk abut his gf's body parts to his friends. We would all be up in arms about it.
So then, it's okay for him to escalate the drama? Suddenly two wrongs make it all okay? I'm not even saying it's wrong to sleep with the friend. I'm only saying it's an issue if it's going to make undue waves.
 

helgaleena

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OP, you said you wanted to 'approach her about this'-- most of the responses are assuming you meant to have sex. Did you just want to talk about this with her? Or what did you mean exactly?

If a man said he had been dreaming about me having sex with him, I might be offended. Or I might be worried. So much depends on what sort of person it is, and you need to find out a lot more before we can give you truly helpful advice.
 

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So then, it's okay for him to escalate the drama? Suddenly two wrongs make it all okay? I'm not even saying it's wrong to sleep with the friend. I'm only saying it's an issue if it's going to make undue waves.


I didn't say that he should broadcast his opinion about his ex's ladybits. I used the word "imagine." so that we might contemplate the unfairness of his ex gf's actions.

What made you think I was advising to release this information?
 

AlteredEgo

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What made you think I thought you were making such a suggestion? Perhaps you are not reading the whole conversation? I never said or implied that that you suggested "he should broadcast his opinion about his ex's ladybits". I'm not stupid. I understand what you wrote. I can see you were trying to see if I'd feel the same way if the tables were turned. I never addressed that question (the answer is yes). YOU were talking about that. YOU brought that up. I have only ever been talking about the idea that if sexual encounters with the ex-girlfriend's friend would create drama (undue waves) in his social circle since he remains friends with the ex, or if it would be hurtful to his ex to be too close to his future lovers, that it would be wrong. That is what the word escalate means in this context. It means to act in such a way that increases the tension or energy of the situation, taking it to another level, which, depending on the dynamic of the relationships involved, sleeping with that lady might do. YOUR response to that was that the drama began when the ex started talking too much. MY response to that is that two wrongs don't make a right. Are we on the same page now (whether we agree or disagree) or am I not explaining clearly enough?

For extra clarity, we are talking about you disagreeing with the following statement, by agreeing with yodiggity:

alteredego said:
You are responsible for drama around you, even if you ignore it. That's just irresponsible."

You seemingly justify your disagreement with the above idea that it is okay for the OP to take actions which escalate the potential drama, as yopdiggity suggests. THAT is what yodiggity suggests when he says
yodiggity said:
its not irresponsible its just not caring which most people really should learn to do. if it doesnt bother you then fuck everyone else, its their problem then.
He is explicitly saying that it doesn't matter what the socio-emotional repercussions are, he should satisfy his id, no matter what. I continue to assert that THAT is irresponsible. You may continue to disagree. You certainly don't need my permission to do so. I just don't want misunderstanding between us.
 
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HorsemanUK

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One of my ex-girlfriend's friends keeps telling me how big my hands are and how big my body is and such. I know my ex shared info on my size while we were together, but I didn't think anyone would bring it up in conversation so blatantly. She also told me she had a dream in which I appeared as a Satyr. I am still good friends with my ex so I'm a little wary about approaching one of her friends about this... advice?

Your ex is your ex your not together so just go for it, she's got no right to get pissed with you for fucking her freind when your no longer together.
 

B_blessed boy

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fuck her but dont let ur intentions be known....go to visit her or smn then let it happen and tell her its u guys lill secret. make a call dont send a text so if anything u can say she was lying.
 

TheRob

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I would say the OP's decision needs to be based not on his erection alone, but on how much value he places on the maintained friendship with his ex, and what he believes her tolerance of being that close to his lovers is. If he doesn't care about maintaining the friendship, then it doesn't matter.

that's true but as much as the drama would be partly on his shoulders it would partly be on the ex's as well
she told her friend (or more then one) about him basically braging and making him more appealing to them, between that and not being with him presently, if oneof her friends makes a play for him she's got to be part of the cause of that drama as well


also not to nitpick but she said you have big hands and a big body, women have told me I had big hands and a big body before I didn't really think they were trying to get my dick in thier mouth by saying that... it's possible that I am insane tho
 
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One of my ex-girlfriend's friends keeps telling me how big my hands are and how big my body is and such. I know my ex shared info on my size while we were together, but I didn't think anyone would bring it up in conversation so blatantly. She also told me she had a dream in which I appeared as a Satyr. I am still good friends with my ex so I'm a little wary about approaching one of her friends about this... advice?

One of my biggest regrets in life is not taking advantage of all the sex I could have had. Seriously.

Unless it will destroy your ex emotionally, just go for it.

I had a really hot fling one summer with a girl who always brought her best friend along on our dates. (No, it's not what you're thinking!) We all enjoyed going out together and everything was great. GF and I would drop the friend off and do our own thing. Well eventually it ended but the friend glommed onto me at a party the next summer. We hooked up that night and remained fuck buddies for like 2 years. The first girl married someone else -- whom I didn't know she had been dating, and cheating on, while we were together.
 

AlteredEgo

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that's true but as much as the drama would be partly on his shoulders it would partly be on the ex's as well
she told her friend (or more then one) about him basically braging and making him more appealing to them, between that and not being with him presently, if oneof her friends makes a play for him she's got to be part of the cause of that drama as well


also not to nitpick but she said you have big hands and a big body, women have told me I had big hands and a big body before I didn't really think they were trying to get my dick in thier mouth by saying that... it's possible that I am insane tho
As I already said, his ex creating a potentially dramatic situation doesn't mean he is excused from his responsibility not to add to it.

Did the women who commented on your hand and body size also describe graphic sexual dreams, starring you, to you? Because that's kind of a sign that a woman wants to have sex with you.
 

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One of my ex-girlfriend's friends keeps telling me how big my hands are and how big my body is and such. I know my ex shared info on my size while we were together, but I didn't think anyone would bring it up in conversation so blatantly. She also told me she had a dream in which I appeared as a Satyr. I am still good friends with my ex so I'm a little wary about approaching one of her friends about this... advice?


She's throwing the pitch right over the plate. HIT IT.

You don't have to send a broadcast e-mail or text everybody when you do. Make it discreet, sweet and complete--ly secret. If your ex brings it up act surprised that she would care.

Sometimes drama keeps life interesting.
 

SR_Dee_Zasther

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if you want to, sleep with her. were i in that situation, i would make an effort not to bring it up around your and rub her face in it, and if the ex gets uncomfortable, talk to her about it but remember you're not together anymore.
 

D_Randy_Buoys

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Thanks for the replies. The friend came to visit me this weekend... strange business.
My ex is in Brazil right now, so I'm not super worried about her. I just don't want to jeopardize a long-term friendship.

I want to inform the friend about this, I just see it as kind of a mouse trap. Like if I say to the friend "Let's get it on," and she immediately tells the ex, I'm stuck with no friend and no sex.
 

MsThang

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Thanks for the replies. The friend came to visit me this weekend... strange business.
My ex is in Brazil right now, so I'm not super worried about her. I just don't want to jeopardize a long-term friendship.

I want to inform the friend about this, I just see it as kind of a mouse trap. Like if I say to the friend "Let's get it on," and she immediately tells the ex, I'm stuck with no friend and no sex.

your ex might be in Brazil fucking a fine man and could care less who you fuck

live your life and let others live theirs
 

helgaleena

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Thanks for the replies. The friend came to visit me this weekend... strange business.
My ex is in Brazil right now, so I'm not super worried about her. I just don't want to jeopardize a long-term friendship.

I want to inform the friend about this, I just see it as kind of a mouse trap. Like if I say to the friend "Let's get it on," and she immediately tells the ex, I'm stuck with no friend and no sex.


What is your logic here? Your ex is an EX. Who you screw should not matter to her, and her opinion on it should not matter to you. So she tells your ex. That would have no consequences whatsoever, if you are all on the same page.

If this is really bothering you so much, you have not let the ex go yet, which is seriously confusing. Go find other women ASAP.
 

AlteredEgo

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What is your logic here? Your ex is an EX. Who you screw should not matter to her, and her opinion on it should not matter to you. So she tells your ex. That would have no consequences whatsoever, if you are all on the same page.

If this is really bothering you so much, you have not let the ex go yet, which is seriously confusing. Go find other women ASAP.
Do you not understand that his ex is more than an ex to him? They are friends. Her feelings matter to him, because he values their friendship. Though the nature of their relationship has changed, it is possible that being too close to his new lovers could be painful for her, or being too close to her new lovers could potentially be painful for him. Those feelings, if they exist, are valid, and if they choose to maintain and cherish a friendship, they have to at least ponder each other's feelings as they would for any other friend.
 

helgaleena

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AE, you are right. I don't understand. And because of that I have to agree with you that it would be better to keep it non-sexual with these women and look farther afield.
 

JMeister

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As others have said if she is a good friend she'll be glad that you are getting your rocks off.

However if something else is going on between the two of you and one of you is in denial then banging your friend's friend will bring this to the surface and force both of you to confront it.

In either case the outcome is positive.