Girlfriend's sexual past

Belly_Dancer

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Age
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Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Female
Oh no, I agree. But see, I was indeed using slut in regards to her promiscuity, speed at which she was moving from partner to partner (with little differentiation between them), and even being passed around between a few of them in one session. When I started hanging out with her, she was just then starting to get a grip on herself. She was hurt. I never judged her, she took almost every precaution she could...and yes, a couple of incidents were out of her control. But she doesn't regret her experiences because they made her the experienced young woman she is today. She's wise well beyond her years.

I understand. And it appears that you are wise beyond your years, as well. There were times when I was hurt by my own behavior, and it was a learning experience. Fortunately, I was never in a situation beyond my control, but that doesn't mean everything I've ever done was fun.

What I will say is that I won't be sexually confined by anyone else's rules, be they the rules of religion, "society," my family and friends, or even my own lover.

I've learned that feeling trapped is the ultimate joy-killer for me, and my new (awesome!) man understand this and feels the same way.

It sounds like your GF may still be in the process of discovering herself, but has come a long way along that road.

Hollyblue, you use slut in a different sense. If that's how you use the word, then yes, she is 100% my slut, lol. Both of us have gone to places kinkier than ever before together, hehe. It's a result of the intense intimacy and trust between us.

Though FYI, the word slut to her brings back very painful memories if not used in the bedroom. I joke to her about it and she takes it in stride (like the majority of my pokes), but if someone were to come out and say it, and mean it, then I believe she'd be very hurt.

Very perceptive. When I first began talking to my lover about some of the hurts in my past, related to conflicts between my religion, societal values, and my sexual needs and drives, he stopped calling me "slut," much to my disappointment. I think he thought that word would carry some sort of special sting because it had been used about me (and to me) in a derogatory sense in the past.

But now that I've explained more fully, he understands that now, the use of the word "slut" is empowering and cathartic to me. It is taking what I believed was a horrible fault and throwing it into the light as a wonderful gift -- I am one hell of a sexual being and I celebrate it!

In fact, I feel so strongly about this that if I ran across someone from my past and they happened to say, "Didn't you used to be a slut?"

I'd smile genuinely and say, "Yes, I did, and I still am!"

The difference between then and now (for me) is that then, I felt guilty for being who I am, and helpless to change it. Now I feel wonderful for being who I am, and I'm really fucking proud of myself that I didn't let anyone scare or guilt or shame it out of me!

BTW...my lover is also very glad that I'm the way I am LOL... :wink: