girls trying to impress girls they don't like

[Thirdlegproduction]

Glad you responded with substance this time.

You are right about one thing, the ugly friend tactic has no merit here it has nothing to do with the Op's girlfriend, I was using the example of the ugly friend tactic to show women use a variety of tactics to seem more attractive to potential mates.

In this case I'd figure the Op's girlfriend feels inferior to the book club girl and tries to show she has greater value by trying really hard to be better.

I don't believe women are consciously aware of this either, it's just .... instinct.

And I do believe this holds true for all women, but there are different degrees and you may simply be a very nice person or you have adapted more friendly tactics.

I could also be absolutely wrong, but using this theory well women seem to make a lot more sense.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Intelligence is really key in my universe. If she is intelligent and ugly or intelligent and attractive she is cool in my book. But then again, I'd like to think I've moved past the crinoid phase in evolutionary terms.

I am not sure I'm easy to make jealous and that's probably what it is about. I certainly don't speak for all women here. Lord knows there are several catty bitches who think they should be the only woman here. And lucky for the nice men, they are not the only women here to mingle with.

 

[petite]

Glad you responded with substance this time.

You are right about one thing, the ugly friend tactic has no merit here it has nothing to do with the Op's girlfriend, I was using the example of the ugly friend tactic to show women use a variety of tactics to seem more attractive to potential mates.

In this case I'd figure the Op's girlfriend feels inferior to the book club girl and tries to show she has greater value by trying really hard to be better.

I don't believe women are consciously aware of this either, it's just .... instinct.

And I do believe this holds true for all women, but there are different degrees and you may simply be a very nice person or you have adapted more friendly tactics.

I could also be absolutely wrong, but using this theory well women seem to make a lot more sense.

Yeah, you really understand women, you condescending asshole.

Everything I do is for men. I just farted. That was for you.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Yeah, you really understand women, you condescending asshole.

Everything I do is for men. I just farted. That was for you.

Hands down the best post I've read from you. Can I quote that one on my signature for a while?

 

[petite]

Hands down the best post I've read from you. Can I quote that one on my signature for a while?

Sure. :smile:

 

[OlderGuy]

Yeah, you really understand women, you condescending asshole.

Everything I do is for men. I just farted. That was for you.

Beautiful post.

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

Yeah, you really understand women, you condescending asshole.

Everything I do is for men. I just farted. That was for you.

Well if i'm so full of condescending horsecrap it shouldn't be that hard for you to come with facts of why you disagree with the statement, I'm all ears.

Or you can just go back to your lovely sarcastic farts.

 

[petite]

Well if i'm so full of condescending horsecrap it shouldn't be that hard for you to come with facts of why you disagree with the statement, I'm all ears.

Or you can just go back to your lovely sarcastic farts.

It's alright. I think everyone else understood. I'm afraid I'd be wasting my time.

 

[OlderGuy]

My girlfriend is in a book club, there is one girl in the book club she doesn't like very much, but it always seems to me she tries to impress this girl, making good food, even re-decorating a little bit (new chairs for the apartment). Is trying to impress someone they don't like very much a girl thing or just my girlfriend?

This behavior is common is people who avoid conflict. It may have nothing to do with any particular girl, but rather your girlfriend's attempt to have everyone play nice in the book club meetings. She may be motivated to see if she can get this girl to like her in order that the group dynamic become free of overt or covert conflict. Perhaps, OP, you are reading too much into it.

Have you actually asked her why, in a curious and supportive rather than judgmental way? That's usually a good first step.

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

It's alright. I think everyone else understood. I'm afraid I'd be wasting my time.

Too bad fear is taking over, i'd love to hear a woman's perspective on these matters, minus the farts ofcourse.

 

[rtg]

There may be a number of reasons for this:
- she may feel threatened by her, and as such wants to prove she is the 'threat'?
- maybe she just wants this girl to feel shit about herself and make her feel like she is less of a woman?
- maybe they both try and out-do eachother?

I dunno, but if I don't like a girl or if i feel threatened by her, I will essentially try to prove that I'm better than her to make her feel bad about herself. It's fucked, I know.

 

[OlderGuy]

Wow. Have you ever considered befriending her and showing her what a cool person you are, instead of displaying the high school behavior that spawned the movie Mean Girls? You might find that more productive.

 

[rtg]

Wow. Have you ever considered befriending her and showing her what a cool person you are, instead of displaying the high school behavior that spawned the movie Mean Girls? You might find that more productive.

If that is directed at me, I only do such a thing when a girl rubs the wrong way, so to speak. Like if she deliberately belittles me in front of others, or is rude to me, or says unkind things to me and stuff...

Otherwise, of course I will try and befriend her. I'm not that insecure so that I have to be better than everyone else.

 

[OlderGuy]

Okay, good, thank you. That makes more sense. Happy New Year.

 

[rtg]

Thanks, same to you