Girls..Womans..ppl with the same problem..need an advice..

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by andriano, Sep 20, 2011.

  1. andriano

    andriano Member

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    First of all. hi.. and thanks for reading this..and hope someone can tell me a good advice...heres my problem..and believe me its killin me... i got this new girlfriend and we have sex just like other couples.. the problem here is that i cant get her to get an orgasm.. if i lick or touch her clit..too sensitive..tried many things... if i fuck her the way she want or my way ..the same.. i can make her squirt all night long if i want.. but no orgasm.. cant anything help me? a vibrator? a dildo? i dont know.. im ripping my hair off.. is the first time something like that happen to me in my sex life.. she said that shes the problem.. she had a few orgasm from now and then.. but i can count it with one hand.. so i dont know what else to do...(she told me that before me she never had an orgasm..and she say that my size its no the problem or the way i move..im 8x6.5..and she told me that im the only one that make her had an orgasm...) but i want to happen often..



    p.s. : not killing me for my ego.. killing me cus i want her to get a orgasm so bad.. so if you ppl got any good advice or idea please tell me

    thanks

    sorry for my english,,
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    Nothing anyone else can tell you will give you the magic key to another person's orgasm. All you can do is keep trying things and see what happens.

    Also, have you asked her if she is desperate to orgasm or if she is enjoying what she has? Maybe she is happy the way she is?

    Finally, you are not in control of her orgasm. She is. You cannot make her orgasm, you can only help her. You are already doing that. Keep trying, keep talking to her and make sure you listen to what she says. Really listen.
     
  3. andriano

    andriano Member

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    thanks for the reply.. i do that.. but sometimes its really frustrating ...sometimes just for me sometimes for both..you think any professional help will help us? like a sexual therapist or something like that.. toys? i dont know.. i really dont have any clue..lol
     
  4. dolfette

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    i don't orgasm during sex.
    i'm perfectly happy that way.

    for me, there are few greater turn offs than a guy who ruins perfectly good sex by turning it into his personal quest for my orgasm. if a guy persists in this i'll just dump him, because it takes all the fun out of sex. i'm fine with not having an orgasm and it's just not respecting my ability to know my own mind if he does the ''but i want sex to be better for you!''. i know how to make sex better for me... it's by actually listening to what i have to say instead of assuming i must want what he wants. the only reason it's frustrating is because other people act like it's an issue, or that i'm broken and need fixing. pressure is unsexy. pressure makes an orgasm a billion times less likely to happen. if it's ever going to happen it'll be spontanious and because he's just having great sex with me, not faffing around trying to find the magic button.

    but that's just me.
     
    #4 dolfette, Sep 20, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2011
  5. andriano

    andriano Member

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    well she says that the sex is great.. but i dont know if you understand me on this ...i want her to have an orgasm and enjoy as well...she say that she enjoy it so much...so its kind of normal.. not getting an orgasm in many women?
     
  6. dolfette

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    it's normal for me.
     
  7. curious_angel

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    andriano, it does sound like you're putting a lot of pressure on your gf. Does your anxiety affect her ability to relax and enjoy the ride?

    She's told you it's her and not you, and this could be interpreted as she wants you to back off with the orgasm chasing.

    Was the sexual therapy your idea or hers? Is she as concerned as you appear to be?
     
  8. dolfette

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    ok, my advice is this:

    there is nothing wrong with women who are less orgasmic.
    the key is often relaxing, and for that you have to take away the pressure. if she's worried that she's not cum yet then she won't cum.
    if she says her clit is too sensitive, remember that it's like a buried cock. leave the head alone and see if she likes it when you stimulate the shaft- it runs under the skin, just above the head. you'll feel the ridge.
    try if she likes having her neck kissed then try doing that at the same time, see how she reacts. or breast fondling. or toe sucking. or whatever.

    if she likes something, do it.
    if she doesn't, don't do it.

    never assume that she should/will get to like something just because other women do.
    act like you're doing it because you enjoy doing it, not doing it because you want her to perform.

    the suggestion of therapy?
    i don't have anything polite to say in response.
     
    #8 dolfette, Sep 20, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2011
  9. ManlyBanisters

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    I agree with curious_angel.

    Please ask yourself this: is what you want more important than what she wants?
     
  10. Thegirlforyou

    Thegirlforyou New Member

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    I'd like to second that the pressure can be instrumental in making it not-happen. I don't orgasm through intercourse alone which is fine but feel like there's pressure to perform as it were.
     
  11. VernalTiger

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    So before she started having sex with you, she never had an orgasm. Now she's had several. That in itself is great progress, and shows that the two of you are on the right track. But you cannot make her cum if her body and/or mind is not ready. Stop projecting on her. I know you want her to be happy and to enjoy sex more but you know what? She already does enjoy sex, that's why she still does it.

    Relax, have fun, explore, communicate and learn each other's bodies. But you are not the magical solution to her orgasms, remember that. If you pressure her too much, or raise your expectations, she may end up faking orgasms just to please you.
     
  12. MickeyLee

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    dude, if she's enjoying herself, with or without orgasm, leave her be.
    ego really needs to be removed when the naked happens.
     
  13. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Most of what I would have said has been said already.

    But seriously, why are so many men so convinced that they can 'make' or 'give' women orgasms?!? It's beyond me.

    I am very multi orgasmic. I orgasm repeatedly during sex whatever is going on. But my orgasms happen because I want them to. Only one of my partners of 27 has been able to MAKE me orgasm, and that is not because of any special skills, but because the dynamic we have.

    andriano, if your girlfriend would like to learn how to orgasm herself, I can give you some thread links that may be helpful.
     
  14. EllieP

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    What MickeyLee said: if she's satisfied please don't push it. Seriously! I would be very unhappy if my husband wanted me to "keep going" if I didn't want to go, or I didn't need to go. It's bad when other people give you artificial goals.

    Different strokes for different folks. People gotta learn to remember that.
     
  15. andriano

    andriano Member

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    yeah sure.. send them pls...


    and thanks every one of you for takin the time and write something.. im really getting tips and helpful advices and understanding the meaning of how to get her to an orgasm...

    one of the technique i discover by error.. was hitting the bone.. i dont know that name of the bone..but is just where is the clit but from inside..i dont know if yall understand me.. we were having intercourse her legs in my shoulders so my dick was in this position like 90 degrees..and i was pounding her.. then my dick got out in hit that spot..and she came.. how crazy is that?
     
  16. MickeyLee

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    you really haven't paid attention, have you?
     
  17. andriano

    andriano Member

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    yes i do... and thanks... i understand that.. it will come some day ..or never come.. and we just relax and and enjoy sex has we have it... but if i get new tips and advices...its better...so thanks again
     
  18. helgaleena

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    There is a thread here about penis on clit, andriano. It looks like you found out that all by yourselves! Congratulations.

    I was going to offer that with women, there are many sorts of orgasm, and if she is squirting, she is already having one kind. It is not right to say one orgasm is better than another, and that she was not satisfied with your love. But that lucky girl is getting benefit from your desire to love her ever more expertly.

    Btw, that bone is called the pubis.
     
  19. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'm not sure that you do, considering that you wrote in your last post that you want to 'get her to orgasm'. The power is not YOURS, it is HERS. If she even wants it.


    Not necessarily. I'm sure I've read posts here where women have said that they squirt without orgasm.
     
  20. VernalTiger

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    I'm one of 'em, subgirrl. Squirting is cool but it's not always related to orgasm. I should know - I can do one, but I've never done the other.
     
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