Girth issues - puzzling even for a size queen... Help appreciated

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by va_lk_yr_ie, Oct 20, 2008.

  1. va_lk_yr_ie

    va_lk_yr_ie Member

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    Some of the older posters might recognize me - I've not been posting actively lately - but still reading a bit every now and then.

    I've recently met what could very well turn out to be a potential life-long, primary partner and when we eventually came around to sex I found that I was dealing with something waaay beyond what I've seen before - at least girth wise. We have both had our fair share of sexual partners before we met (and in my case more than one large guy) so have at least some comparison to make as to what is within the boundaries of average size and capacity.

    From what he says I get the impression he's not had severe trouble with other women he has seen - some intial problems that have disappeared over time. I know I've always been on the tighter side with the guys I've seen. Not hurting very much, but a bit of difficulty getting in intitally. I do have a rare skin condition that affects the genital skin as well - making it tighter and a bit less flexible than normal skin - it's well controlled with medication and has so far never posed any problems for sex. No other gyno issues to speak of and checked regularly so would know from there if something could be potentially affecting it.

    Length wise we're not talking about any extremes even if he's a big guy there too - about the length of my palm - so roughly around 7" - I've seen and dealt with more there. Now girth... I'm unable to close hand around - which in itself doesn't say much as I have smallish hands. Two pound coins easily lie side to side on top of a rock solid hard on with a bit on the sides to spare. Not perfectly round - more of a flattened cylinder - wider across - but using a cylinder for estimation my guess would be definitely above 6 probably closer to 6.5.

    From the two times we've been together so far - this does not fit - and it's uncomfortable for me - not pain as such but serious stretching and a bit of burning. I'm wet, aroused, have usually come at least once, have tried using extra lube, different positions to create as little resistance and muscle tension as possible and just about everything that has worked before with big guys. He's puzzled too - but doesn't want to force it any more than necessary (bless him - he's a sweetheart and a keeper). It frustrates me - I want him, I'm turned on by him (and yes, most definitely by the size too - which makes it even more frustrating).

    Any words of wisdom from the folks here - big guys or women used to them (I'm not unfamiliar either - but stumped here). Just a matter of keeping on trying and letting it take the time it takes - which would be my guess. Or is there something else we could try that we've missed.
     
    #1 va_lk_yr_ie, Oct 20, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2008
  2. Sirus38

    Sirus38 Member

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    I have experianced a similar problem with one of my ex's and found that using a vibrator with only a slightly smaller girth say (5.5) helps aclimatises your vagina.
    so when he does enter it does stretch you as much and it will be a little more comfortable for both of you.
    I suggest using lube with this method for better results.
    good luck va lk yr ie,

    malco
    oxo
     
  3. B_Morning_Glory

    B_Morning_Glory New Member

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    i have this same problem too with my hubby. i have had large guys before him but had no girth to them, my hubby is 7.75Lx 7 around in girth and i understand where you are coming from here i think, others mite know something i dont about this but i dont think really there is much you can do next to just enjoying it with lots of foreplay before hand as that what we do. i have tried a vibe and a very large dildo as well when he is not here and after 16 yrs, together not much has changed except i have gotten better at dealing with his size. believe me it takes practice, i have had two kids both big when born. but even that has not helped in hubby's girth dept, but i wouldn't have it any other way as i love being filled during sex and it is very enjoyable. but like we have lots of foreplay before hand and i get very wet and all is well. not much help here maybe but this works for me so thought i would pass it on maybe you will get more replies to this later on. as real life girth and lpsg girth are to diffrent things. sounds like our guys girth are rare but i have read and seen pics, of them in diffrent places around the web, as well as in books and such so wish you the best in your fun and hope i helped you out in some way.
     
    #3 B_Morning_Glory, Oct 20, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2008
  4. alleight

    alleight Member

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    when my wife and i were first dating we had a similar issue. she went to an obgyn who checked everything out and told her things would be fine to just relax. that did not help us much, neither did the tube of lube the doc gave her, come to think of it.

    after 11 years together we've got things working most of the time now.

    the biggest thing, imo, is trust. it sounds cliche, sure, but having observed the two of us for a long time now, i'm convinced that some things just take a while. i don't think she felt untrusting of me for those first few years, but i probably was pushing too hard at times and that caused her to unconsciously tighten up and fear a bit that I might not be sensitive to what her body was doing.

    now she trusts me that we're going to start really slow until she opens up, sometimes for 20-30 minutes of gently sliding in just the tip. and my approach is to just wait until she's demanding more. i never push at all until she's open.
     
  5. D_Tinker Ball

    D_Tinker Ball New Member

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    Pardon me but you have small hands, indeed.
    Given the introduction I was expecting a girth >7.5.
    I'm 6", and finding out "waaay beyond what seen before" was 6.5 made me smile a little.

    Either 6.5" is a wrong estimate, either imho it's just a matter of time and relax, to get used to him.
     
  6. nkktwo

    nkktwo New Member

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    Two pound coins?

    Do you mean 2 one pound coins?

    Or two 2 pound coins?

    The difference is about a 15mm in diameter. I've got a dick about 5.5cm wide, which I've never had trouble with. But if you mean two, 2 pound coins then yeah, could see how that fit might be a problem.:eek:
     
    #6 nkktwo, Oct 21, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2008
  7. va_lk_yr_ie

    va_lk_yr_ie Member

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    *sends her thanks to the legit posters and sighs a bit at the oh-so-common syndrome of internet inches and bolstering measurements*

    Going slow it is and letting it take the time it takes - I'll probably bring a dildo or two next time I go over to the UK to visit and give that one a go.

    As for some of the comments - this should not really be necessary - but as people insist on using fantasies on what is large and not and I feel in a debunking mood today...

    My hand:

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo331/va_lk_yr_ie/hand_measure.jpg

    Glass with circumference measured:

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo331/va_lk_yr_ie/glass_measure.jpg

    Same glass with my hand around it:

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo331/va_lk_yr_ie/glass_hand.jpg

    Two Swedish Krona coins side by side and slightly overlapping to match what two one pound coins would look like (by the way, the difference to two two pound coins is not 15 mm, rather 8 mm - which would indeed make a rather big difference in circumference, but not as huge as to indicated):

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo331/va_lk_yr_ie/coins.jpg

    As you can see from the above pic the overlap is about 2.5 mm to simulate the somewhat smaller size of the one pound coin. The pens laid out to the sides of the coin would show about the margin to the sides - giving a width of about 2.125 inches. A cylindrical objects circumferences is calculated as:
    Circumference = π • diameter

    Substituting the diameter with 2.125 gives a circumference of 6.67 inches or rounded upwards 6.7 inches.
     
    #7 va_lk_yr_ie, Oct 21, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2008
  8. crawfuls

    crawfuls Member

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    Haha bravo with that post, backing it up with facts, something this site lacks far too often.
     
  9. nkktwo

    nkktwo New Member

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    WOW!:shocked1:

    That's most exactly the size I am. If by the "pen" you mean the inside of the pen.

    Shocked you have not run into this size. No one I've ever slept with told me that was out of the ordinary. Maybe the occasional ego-booster, nothing serious.

    Not a male whore myself so maybe my sample size is too small?:biggrin1:

    Maybe there's some issue physically as you mentioned you have some skin issues?

    Almost too much information, but are you dry down there? Have you tried lube?
     
  10. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Too much info? If she didn't give you that info how could anyone have responded to her and make much sense?
    Of course some of you didn't make much sense any way!:eek:
    Va_lk_yr_ie I believe if you just keep going slowly as you seem to have been doing, over time you will stretch a little more easily when you
    are with him.
    The suggestion from "alleight" that he puts just the tip in until
    she wants more, I think is an excellent way to overcome the tightness
    you are feeling.
    I also have a hard time with my husband, "Mr. Ed in Mass." who at 9x7
    makes it impossible for him to enter me until I relax totally and am soaking wet which he happily enjoys! Of course being overly wet he sometimes can slip out if I am sqirming around too much.
    The vibrator idea sounds like it can help to stretch you also and I've heard of some people using a dilator to make the vagina a little bit bigger.
    Of course it always returns to normal size so that shouldn't be a problem.
    Best wishes to you and your new partner!:biggrin1:
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  11. va_lk_yr_ie

    va_lk_yr_ie Member

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    Thanks Cigarbabe - and I'll most likely bring a print-out back to the UK next time. :biggrin1:

    As for previous experiences with girth I think I can quite safely say my sample size is way beyond what is an average amount of sex partners for a female just under 40. Previous partner and I were active swingers for a number of years and counting all men I've seen/touched/stroked/sucked/had sex with we're on a rough guesstimate at least over a 100, probably closer to 150 (and no, I'm not ashamed in the least to say this - I enjoy sex and I like exploring new people - safe sex a given of course).

    No one has so far been close to the girth I've seen in this man. A few have been longer - the biggest one so far stretching about an additional inch and half up my wrist - approximately 8.5 inches in total (and that is too much length for me to deal with comfortably unless highly aroused and tented). Girth wise I've seen a few approaching where I can barely close thumb/index finger around - which puts them around the 6 inch mark.

    Average length and girth would lie at heel of my hand (5.5-6) and index finger touching first joint of thumb (a tad less than 5.5 inches). Let's just say I'm doubtful that a claimed diameter of 2.125 and an estimated girth of about 6.5 has never encountered any particular comments or problems. I'm equally doubtful of the existence of girths much above 7 if not surgically altered.
     
    #11 va_lk_yr_ie, Oct 21, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2008
  12. nkktwo

    nkktwo New Member

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    I certainly havent.

    I do tend to sleep with women who are less overtly sexual than most. Maybe they just dont mention these things?

    And it's only been five women (early 30s) - all but one long term relationships. None of them mentioned it, but that could be the sample population or sample size.

    But. No. No real problems, no real comments.

    And I dont think I'm particularly large. I think maybe a bit above average. Mainly come to LPSG for the porn, just commented on this because recall you from the olden days.

    Me thinks you are under estimating the size of your partner.:cool:
     
  13. Sirus38

    Sirus38 Member

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    my friend if your 6.75" in circ then youre almost certainly thicker than most and you should be proud. Now seeing as you have had no difficulties with your size e.g. needing to use lube etc; shows that youve been very very lucky with the women you slept with.
    But lets not bullshit if you are that thick there is no doubt that yo wouldve at least had a comment once about your size regardless of how overtly sexual these women are.
    But this thread is not about you sadly so stop digressing from va_lk_yr_ie question please.
     
  14. D_Tinker Ball

    D_Tinker Ball New Member

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    Thanks for the math lesson, always appreciated.
    So what's the conclusion? You got small hands, imho.

    Let's put it in this way: how many women here would say that 6.5" is so very much, enough to make it so difficult to manage?
    That's all. I'm not saying 6.5" is thin, I just think you were used to thin guys.
     
  15. B_Morning_Glory

    B_Morning_Glory New Member

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    well i can asure you that my hubby hasnt been altered in anyway LOL. the size i stated is his true size most of the time hard. but i have mesured him just a tad abouve this but not enough woth mentioning. but i do feel the same way you do about some of cock sizes quoted on here, but who am i to judge. but am seeing you getting more answers to your questiion so, glad we can help you out in some way hopefully.
     
  16. nkktwo

    nkktwo New Member

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    Yes, I think she may have the medical issue acting up on her. Obviously, not knowing enough of her situation, makes it hard to know what is the cause. But my size never caused me any problems.

    I'm 163-165mm around, Google says this is 6.49 inches?

    Not quite what you say.

    Am "proud" I guess, but it's not something I worked for, just born with, so, not really proud.

    Really never should have posted, should just get my porn fix and move on...

    Sorry Val. Good luck with your boy friend. Hope things work out.
     
  17. va_lk_yr_ie

    va_lk_yr_ie Member

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    Well, seeing that the average reported girth in controlled studies (see footnotes below for references - I personally would trust Journal of Urology and clinically controlled conditions far more than internet reported self-measurements) is a tiny bit below 5" I'd say that most if not all women would say a 6.5" girth is much more than expected, even a 6" girth is unusual and something most would react to.

    Even if the reaction would not be pain or having physical problems handling it (that if anything depends on individual anatomy) I would be willing to bet quite a lot that most women would find it out of the ordinary. Most women if not having had many sexual partners would likely not encounter a penis of that size unless they out of chance find themselves with a partner of that size. It is unlikely that a woman with an average amount of sexual partners would encounter more than one man of length and/or girth that is significantly above average unless she actively searches for such partners.

    And as already stated - yes I have smallish hands, I'm the first one to admit that. I still find it hard to believe that I am grossly underestimating this man's size as it is in relation to the hand I have (no matter what that size is) and to objects of known size.

    Medical issues? Again as stated a skin condition that is well controlled with medication and that has so far caused no problems with men up to around 6" in girth - and yes - same applies for those as for this man - I have a hard time seeing that my own hand with known measurements should provide a gross underestimation of them either. And no, not dry in the least - quite the opposite I'd say as to very wet - and yes - extra lube has been tried and failed as well. The more I'm hearing the more I lean towards the thoughts from many posters - that's it's more an issue of slowly adjusting and letting it take the time it takes - perhaps with a bit of help from toys if needed.
     
  18. newguy01

    newguy01 New Member

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    In the glass picture, which was about 6.5 around, it looks like your fingers and thumb are about an inch apart, maybe 1.25 even. So I would say that, an object right at 5.5 would probably be the largest that you could get your hand around, yes?

    So that seems like a good solid estimate regardless of anything else.


    For a given width - the circumference is maximized when the object is perfectly round. So it is very possible that a wider width could cause discomfort regardless of the circumference, as the object in question could be proportionally wider horizontally than vertically.
     
    #18 newguy01, Oct 21, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2008
  19. TinyPrincess

    Gold Member

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    Sorry, but sometimes I get a strange feeling when reading a post and for some even stranger reason often find myself checking out the old threads and posts of the poster.

    This is one of these moments.

    Valkyrie, in the OP you said that your new partner is "waaay beyond what I've seen before" - and that it "does not fit - and it's uncomfortable for me - not pain as such but serious stretching and a bit of burning. I'm wet, aroused, have usually come at least once, have tried using extra lube, different positions to create as little resistance and muscle tension as possible and just about everything that has worked before with big guys".

    Going back to your first thread at LPSG, you mention you're a size queen and that your (at that time) current lover is 9*6+. Then in a thread from august last year your (at that time) current lover is 8.5*6+ - you even posts pics of him.

    Now in this post you say you're unable to handle your new lover who you put at 7*6+

    :confused: I'm sorry - but what did I miss :confused:

    Did you shrink? Or forget your past?

    In many (if not most) of your posts you rant on internet inches (BTW, I totally agree) and/or the ability of men and women to estimate size. You write that you're terrible at estimating and are surprised that others are better at it.

    Then you suddenly turn this thread into a math lesson "As you can see from the above pic the overlap is about 2.5 mm to simulate the somewhat smaller size of the one pound coin. The pens laid out to the sides of the coin would show about the margin to the sides - giving a width of about 2.125 inches. A cylindrical objects circumferences is calculated as:
    Circumference = π • diameter

    Substituting the diameter with 2.125 gives a circumference of 6.67 inches or rounded upwards 6.7 inches."

    :confused: What :confused:

    Then you mention your 100+ experience ("at least over a 100, probably closer to 150"), but "no one has so far been close to the girth I've seen in this man"

    :confused: I don't get it - in several posts you tell about different lovers with 6+ girth, but suddenly 6+ is "waaay beyond what I've seen before" :confused:

    Then you actually call your new lover a liar as you are "doubtful that an estimated girth of about 6.5 has never encountered any particular comments or problems". Well, you haven't had problems with 6+ before, so...

    Finally - "I'm equally doubtful of the existence of girths much above 7 if not surgically altered".


    Valkyrie, you leaves me in doubt - in doubt about who (and what) you really are, in doubt about your posts and in doubt about your mission.

    Your standpoint on e.g. internet inches are very "female", but some parts of your posts and the thoughts behind them seem very "male". You claim to be a size queen but don't like larger men - I'm truly sorry, but I simply don't get it...

    :confused: I simply don't :confused:
     
    #19 TinyPrincess, Oct 21, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2008
  20. udubcrew

    udubcrew Well-Known Member

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    if your palm is 7 inches long, you have absolutely enormous hands. My entire hand is 8 inches long and a 6'4 man with large hands. You may want to check your measurements.
     
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