Giving up...need advice

Phil Ayesho

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I not a great looking guy so women wont even look my way or even talk to me no matter how hard I try.

First off... what makes you such a not great looking guy?

Are you overweight?

Dress badly?
Acne?

What?


Most appearance issues that will matter to women are things you can do something about. You don't have to be an adonis for women... though not being obese might be a help, and dressing in a manner that flatters you will be a plus.

Second.
people are drawn to self confidence. Both women and men.

Find something you do well, or practice something until you can do it well enough that you can carry yourself with confidence...
As age 23... learn to dance well... and I don't just mean that hip hop crap that passes for dancing... I mean the kind of dancing where you HOLD the woman.
Most women love to dance and can't find men who will, or who can dance well.

If you could dance really well... it would astound you how many women would want to be in your arms.

Most if all... wake up and take responsibility. If you want to be loved, you had damn well better be lovable.

Stop waiting for someone to take you as you are, and start working on making sure you have something to offer.
 

D_John Quicky Adams

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First off... what makes you such a not great looking guy?

Are you overweight?

Dress badly?
Acne?

What?


Most appearance issues that will matter to women are things you can do something about. You don't have to be an adonis for women... though not being obese might be a help, and dressing in a manner that flatters you will be a plus.

Second.
people are drawn to self confidence. Both women and men.

Find something you do well, or practice something until you can do it well enough that you can carry yourself with confidence...
As age 23... learn to dance well... and I don't just mean that hip hop crap that passes for dancing... I mean the kind of dancing where you HOLD the woman.
Most women love to dance and can't find men who will, or who can dance well.

If you could dance really well... it would astound you how many women would want to be in your arms.

Most if all... wake up and take responsibility. If you want to be loved, you had damn well better be lovable.

Stop waiting for someone to take you as you are, and start working on making sure you have something to offer.

Hey Phil thanks for the advice. I'm not overweight, I'm just not attractive physically. If you saw me in person you would agree. I guess I have genetics to blame for that. If i got plastic surgery to change my looks I guess that would be a way to change it but other than that I don't know. I can dance somewhat (well slow dance at least) but i'm not really a club person so I haven't really dance with too many people.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Hey Phil thanks for the advice. I'm not overweight, I'm just not attractive physically. If you saw me in person you would agree. I guess I have genetics to blame for that. If i got plastic surgery to change my looks I guess that would be a way to change it but other than that I don't know. I can dance somewhat (well slow dance at least) but i'm not really a club person so I haven't really dance with too many people.

You are in luck... women really do not care all that much for appearance in men, as far as being ideal physical specimens.

Don't get me wrong, they appreciate a handsome man, and lust after well formed males... but that is not the primary criteria they go by in selecting a man for a relationship.

I have seen plain ugly men with beautiful women who are smitten with them.


Again, the key is self confidence, and do you offer them the security and devotion they seek? If you aren't overweight, then there is no reason you can't dress well, in a style that makes you look good.

And, one more thing... what women also seek from men is fun.
Learn to make women laugh, learn how to show them a good time... and I don't necessarily mean spending a lot on them...

Women tend to be very practically minded... men tend to be more playful, one of the few real uses men have in women's lives is frolick and fun.

would you make a good father? Would you stand true? Can you care for another person who is dependent upon you and love them unconditionally?

Make yourself into this kind of man, and you will find a good woman who will think you are what every man ought to be.

As far as any bisexual leaning... forget about it... pair bonding with a woman is much more likely.
Women are amazing in how accepting they are of a man's physical shortcomings... beyond the initial flirt, they really do look at the person.

But they want a man who is self confident... capable... and knows what he wants in life...
 

D_John Quicky Adams

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You are in luck... women really do not care all that much for appearance in men, as far as being ideal physical specimens.

Don't get me wrong, they appreciate a handsome man, and lust after well formed males... but that is not the primary criteria they go by in selecting a man for a relationship.

I have seen plain ugly men with beautiful women who are smitten with them.


Again, the key is self confidence, and do you offer them the security and devotion they seek? If you aren't overweight, then there is no reason you can't dress well, in a style that makes you look good.

And, one more thing... what women also seek from men is fun.
Learn to make women laugh, learn how to show them a good time... and I don't necessarily mean spending a lot on them...

Women tend to be very practically minded... men tend to be more playful, one of the few real uses men have in women's lives is frolick and fun.

would you make a good father? Would you stand true? Can you care for another person who is dependent upon you and love them unconditionally?

Make yourself into this kind of man, and you will find a good woman who will think you are what every man ought to be.

As far as any bisexual leaning... forget about it... pair bonding with a woman is much more likely.
Women are amazing in how accepting they are of a man's physical shortcomings... beyond the initial flirt, they really do look at the person.

But they want a man who is self confident... capable... and knows what he wants in life...

You know what man you're right because I've seen plenty of non-attractive or overweight men with hot women and I always used to wonder how did they do it haha? I really don't want children because there are things about me that I don't want to pass down to another person. I'm going out this weekend so I'll keep your advice in mind. I don't care if I hook up with a woman or a man but I don't know any woman that would accept me as bisexual. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's married with children that cheat on there wives with men
 

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please buy the Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss it changed my life and made me into the modest charming most humble woman slayer I am today. Its awesome it taught me how to break down peoples walls and learn the basics of interaction.
Best of luck
 

bodybuilder1980

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I've found that when I'm absolutely over it, done with men, relationships, and people in general.... giving up can be a good thing. When I stop looking, and just let things happen in their own time, I meet the most amazing people.

Truer words cant be spoken.. Thank you so much for posting this !
 

D_John Quicky Adams

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please buy the Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss it changed my life and made me into the modest charming most humble woman slayer I am today. Its awesome it taught me how to break down peoples walls and learn the basics of interaction.
Best of luck

Thanks man and I will check out that book. @Infernal I think that just might be true man
 

Phil Ayesho

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I don't care if I hook up with a woman or a man but I don't know any woman that would accept me as bisexual. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's married with children that cheat on there wives with men

You should care. One path leads in one direction, the other in another.

Thing is... while having a bisexual orientation is something folks can deal with, generally speaking, Neither a decent man nor a decent woman is going to be okay with you ACTING on it.

If you think you are going to find a partner of either sex who is going to be fine with you having sex outside the relationship with someone else, just because you think about it, then you are really cutting down your chances of finding someone to a needle in a haystack kind of odds.

Most human beings want an intimate relationship to be exclusive of others... especially in this day and age of STDs.

You need to recalibrate your sense of what you can have, and recognize that being bisexual is not a license to cheat...
Committing to a woman, or to a man, that you will not have sex with anyone else, INCLUDES people of the sex opposite of your partner.

being a faithful mate is not conditional on gender.


If you feel you must have sex with both women and men... then prepare yourself for a much longer search... and you might want to focus on a gay relationship as your primary one... open relationships allowing both partners to dally seem slightly more common in the gay community than in the straight.

If all you want is to get laid, and are not particularly interested in serious, long term romance... then you might have more trouble... as women and men who are just playing the field for fun are likely to be shopping on the basis of appearance alone.
 

SomeGuyOverThere

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Thanks man and I will check out that book. @Infernal I think that just might be true man


I strongly recommend that you don't read The Game. It's misogynistic, manipulative bullshit by a man who turned himself into a con artist to get laid. Neil Strauss AKA "Style" and his buddy "Mystery" are essentially the used car salesmen of the bedroom.

The whole book is basically about how to trick people into thinking that you care about them and that they're special so that they fall in love with you and you fuck them and dump them, or even manipulate them into threesomes/being fuck buddies.

The book left a terrible taste in my mouth, especially how self-congratulatory the whole thing is about what essentially amounts to a string of broken hearts and empty words which lead to a lot of sex with people who were under the mistaken impression that it mattered.

Read The Game only if sex is more important to you than other people's feelings, or if you really think you can extract the less manipulative pick up tricks without being an utter cockbag.
 
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D_John Quicky Adams

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You should care. One path leads in one direction, the other in another.

Thing is... while having a bisexual orientation is something folks can deal with, generally speaking, Neither a decent man nor a decent woman is going to be okay with you ACTING on it.

If you think you are going to find a partner of either sex who is going to be fine with you having sex outside the relationship with someone else, just because you think about it, then you are really cutting down your chances of finding someone to a needle in a haystack kind of odds.

Most human beings want an intimate relationship to be exclusive of others... especially in this day and age of STDs.

You need to recalibrate your sense of what you can have, and recognize that being bisexual is not a license to cheat...
Committing to a woman, or to a man, that you will not have sex with anyone else, INCLUDES people of the sex opposite of your partner.

being a faithful mate is not conditional on gender.


If you feel you must have sex with both women and men... then prepare yourself for a much longer search... and you might want to focus on a gay relationship as your primary one... open relationships allowing both partners to dally seem slightly more common in the gay community than in the straight.

If all you want is to get laid, and are not particularly interested in serious, long term romance... then you might have more trouble... as women and men who are just playing the field for fun are likely to be shopping on the basis of appearance alone.

Well actually even though I am attracted to women too I like being with men more I will admit. When I made that earlier statement about finding someone who was cool with me being bisexual, I didn't mean sleeping with both sexes while in a relationship. I meant finding someone that was cool with me having those feelings. I'm not out to find more empty sex I just want something that I never had before...a relationship

@SomeGuyOverThere I read through most of that book today and I thought the same thing. I hate motherfuckers that do all that braggin and boastin and making other people feel bad. I deal with enough of that shit in the army.
 

Pith

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Why do you need to find a relationship? Just be happy and it'll happen.

I was in a similar situation and I've just been trying to have fun w/ friends, enjoy my city, have fun outside and accept being single is okay. I've since stopped caring about relationships/love or trying to get into anything. I've also started having a lot more fun since then.
 

B_debonair87

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you have some self esteem issues to work out. don't look to others for your own happiness. happiness has to come from within yourself. once you find happiness with yourself then go out and build solidrelationships with people.

you can have a wife, kids, and a shitload of friends and still feel alone.
 

D_John Quicky Adams

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you have some self esteem issues to work out. don't look to others for your own happiness. happiness has to come from within yourself. once you find happiness with yourself then go out and build solidrelationships with people.

you can have a wife, kids, and a shitload of friends and still feel alone.

I will admit I do have self esteem issues. I always felt inferior to everybody else because they had friends and people that loved them. A lot of those issues stem from back in my school days and I was just never able to let go of them.
 

XCentralCasting8in

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Lower your standards. The more success you have the more you can raise them.

Wise advice. Find a plain Jane lady who desperately needs love and will appreciate you. Someone who is high maintenance that you have to put on a pedestal will ruin you. Don't reach too high, you can miss out. Life is short. :smile: