Giving your all....is it a bad thing?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by luvmycock, Jan 24, 2012.

  1. luvmycock

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    Last night I was thinking.........is it a bad thing to give your all to a person? If you are in a relationship or interested in a person or if you are getting to know someone, is it too much to be all into someone? I understand that you should still have a sense of self. I mean you hear all of these songs about being enthralled with someone, hell I have a few friends that are head over heels for the person they are with. It got me to thinking what type am I?........Honestly I think I am the type to love hard and really give a person my all. At times I can feel it happening but I think what if the person in the other end does not feel that same way? But is it so bad to be a person that gives their all to someone?

    Sorry if it's hard to follow, it makes sense in my head, lol.
     
  2. D_Sal_Manilla

    D_Sal_Manilla Account Disabled

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    "Don't make someone you everything because once they are gone, you have nothing."


    as romantic and loving it may sound to give someone your whole, it never truly works out that way.
     
    #2 D_Sal_Manilla, Jan 25, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2012
  3. luvmycock

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    that is so true
     
  4. Countryguy63

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    That is true. However, I'm a lot like you Luv. Although it takes me a while too get there, but once committed, I'm totally committed.


    For some people, it's too much :frown1:
     
  5. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    What does giving one's all mean? I am fully invested and flexible in my relationships, but would I change everything or give up everything to be with someone? No.

    I have a friend who has completely changed everything about herself - limits, personal behavior, and preferences - to be with some abusive, cheating, controlling douche bag. I'm certain going to that extreme will not always backfire, but I can't imagine giving up so much of myself to make a "we" or fit into another person's life, and wouldn't bother being with someone who made such a request. Fuck that.
     
  6. Countryguy63

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    Changing ones self for someone else is never a good thing.
     
  7. luvmycock

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    I second that. Stay true to who you are and the things that make you you.

    Yes Country, it can take a,while sometimes but once there being totally committed can feel like a wonderful thing. That crazy in love feeling, but it can sometimes go to the extreme and take a turn to the dark side (sorry I had to say it, lol)

    I guess I have really just answered my own question, lol. But I think this is an interesting topic. What do you all think about this?
     
    #7 luvmycock, Jan 25, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2012
  8. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    Giving your all usually goes hand in hand with expectations of the partner to do or feel the same.

    But in my book there's supposed to be a balance of control preferably equal, giving your all is giving your partner a lot of the power in the relationship and that's usually a recepy for failure.

    I have the same tendency, but I hold back these days and try to focus on my own life, goals and activities and if she wants to be part of that then that's great.
     
  9. willow78

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    I've never been in a relationship so this is purely theory.....

    I think it's possible to give all of you to someone but still be yourself. I can be very emotional so I think that I could be utterly devoted to someone. But I can also be a stubborn bitch so if he tried to change me, I would dig my heels in.

    Giving your all to someone can leave you vulnerable but if your partner is good to you, it can lead to something wonderful.

    But like I said, purely theory.....
     
  10. gimme_another_inch

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    It's not bad at all, that's how it should be but you gotta have lube handy as, sooner or later, but there are exceptions which confirm the rule, you gotta be screwed very hard and ask yourself if it was worth the pain to give your all...

    Fact is if you are a giver you cannot change much, there are givers and takers, as by my personal experience the latter overtake the former :frown1:
     
  11. gimme_another_inch

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    Agree, usually it works the other way round, at the beginning it's like that, wonderful, later on from vulnerable you go straight to hell with both feet and no escape and scars are not easy to cure
     
  12. spoon

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    "Don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option."

    this quote came to my mind. giving your all to someone is good. wish everyone would give it their all if going into a relationship. and, what one person thinks is their all, may not be what the other person is thinking as their all. if a person is a 'workaholic' then their partner needs to be someone to realize that they could come in 2nd to their partners work.
     
  13. D_Dick_S_Lapp

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    I don't think giving your all in a relationship is a bad thing. If you didn't give your all then you'd be setting yourself up to fail. Either your not being honest with yourself or your partner about whats going on, which tends to lead to breakups/confusion. Or someone isn't fully invested in the relationship (which kind of means the same thing lol). I think letting go is the real issue or knowing when to let go.
     
  14. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    Your own happiness must come first because if you aren't happy you can't expect anyone else to make you happy.
     
  15. Bbucko

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    When I commit, I go in with both feet: otherwise, why bother?

    And yes: I wear the scars for such relationships. But I wear them proudly.
     
  16. luvmycock

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    i like that
     
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