Going back in time, what advice would you give to your teenage sexual self?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by W/In 1 Stand Dev, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. W/In 1 Stand Dev

    W/In 1 Stand Dev Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2007
    Messages:
    327
    Likes Received:
    88
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near St. Louis
    Maybe this has been done already. I don't know. If it has, my apologies and would somebody please post a link to that original thread?

    So yeah, hypothetically speaking, if you could go back in time and talk to your teenage self, what advice would you give about sex and/or relationships?
     
  2. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,460
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,559
    Location:
    United States
    Yes. The hot, nerdy Colombian is hitting on you. The uber-Christian thing is just an act. Move on him, and be agressive.
     
  3. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    • You should ask Martin R.to the Sr. Prom, you know he likes you and will say yes.:wink::smile:
    • Matt O. is gay don't arrange your class schedule to match his:tongue::redface:
    • Do not go out with Lynwood!
    • Substituting sex for beer will not make Jerry S. stop drinking. He is an alcoholic. :frown1: (I was 19! I didn't know any better. :tongue:)
    • Keep Stanley L. in the friend zone, going further will be a HUGE mistake.
    • You should ask out Larry Z. and see what happens.
    • Ignore what Ed T. says, watch what he does. He is incapable of love and commitment.
    • Get the name & phone# for that fireman at the Tropical Pub.:biggrin1: He eats pussy like it's his last meal and he will be the first man to make you squirt.:cool:
    • Chris P. is smarter than he looks, he can be more than a FWB.
     
  4. Guy-jin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2007
    Messages:
    3,835
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    669
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Planet Earth
    To my 19-year old self: Dump your girlfriend. You-know-who wants you and it will be amazing and you're just wasting time.

    Oh, and you have a big dick so buy some KY Liquid beforehand, you idiot.
     
  5. No_Strings

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    6
    Nothing, surprisingly. (Even to myself, to some extent.)
     
  6. Northland

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2007
    Messages:
    6,082
    Likes Received:
    4
    "If you want both Veronica and Frank, then go for it."
     
  7. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,037
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nowhere near you
    Relax, your time will come.
     
  8. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Stay skinny
    Get your teeth fixed quicker
    smile
    gay guys = bad idea...
     
  9. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    Oh the things I would tell myself at 17!!!

    Don't go to Hiram. It sucks. Go to BU.

    Don't worry that you're bisexual. It's OK to be gay.

    Don't major in art history. Major in landscape design. You'll be happier.

    Tell that quack Meyers to get you a better retainer.

    Get out of the house. Mother is going through menopause and she needs someone whom she can shit all over who isn't going to fight back. That will be you.

    Yes our father has severe problems. You can't change him or make him happy. Let it go.

    Write back to Laurie, frequently.

    Soon as you turn 18 go find the best lawyer you can to sue the shit out of the diocese for millions for what that fucker did to you.

    You didn't deserve to be beaten-up or abused. Try to understand that Jason. It's so hard and you'll waste so much of your life if you think that's the case. Just be yourself and if people don't like you, fuck them.

    Never fuck without a condom. Not anyone.

    Do NOT buy that Saab! Get a nice Japanese car instead.

    Finish college! Don't drop out or get kicked out.

    Don't spend so much time at Oliver's and NEVER drive the truck.

    The reason Sister Anne Paul and Stella Smith hated you was because they could tell you were gay and they hated themselves for being lesbians.

    Go find Uncle Ben and spend some time with him before he dies.

    You're not a bad-looking guy. Keep working out and take pride in your body.

    Take the money in the settlement from the diocese and buy stock in Microsoft, Apple, Google, Yahoo!, Cisco, and Ebay. Sell it all in August 2001 except for Google. Hold on to that from first issue to the end of 2007.

    If you live in New York as I suspect you will, don't go downtown on 9/11/01 and beg everyone you know not to fly and beg your friends who work in the World Trade Center or the Pentagon to stay home that day.

    Fuck the cigarettes. Don't take one ever again, particularly if offered one in jail. Quit everything else too.

    You're going to go through some really difficult years. Don't try to kill yourself. You really will have a lot to live for. You really are a decent person. Believe in yourself even if nobody else does.

    And last.... PE WORKS!!! If you start now you'll be average or better by the time you're 25.

    ------------------------------​

    This post was really painful to write. It made me realize a few things I need to process.
     
  10. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,235
    Likes Received:
    3
    Stop being such a damn introvert and share the wealth!
     
  11. B_Monster

    B_Monster New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2005
    Messages:
    4,773
    Likes Received:
    9
    Get as much of it as you can!!! wait, i did tell myself that.
     
  12. lorne

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    1,238
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    920
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    don't waste time just ask her
     
  13. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    You are gay and it's OK. There will be a place for you at the table.

    Stay in California.

    Sign up for frequent flyer miles now.

    Floss and take care of your teeth.

    Learn to play the guitar.

    Don't let your ego call all the shots. It's wrong most of the time.
     
  14. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    Fasten your seat belt.
     
  15. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Take the test to join Mensa - you'll qualify. Join the Indianapolis chapter. There's a guy there you're going to want to meet.

    DO NOT date Roy C.!
     
  16. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    Go, Baby! Go! Go!
     
  17. Osiris

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2007
    Messages:
    2,725
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Wherever the dolphins are going
    I'd tell myself a few things:

    Don't Date Ms. Gilliam.

    Don't sleep with the wife of one of your uncle's clients.

    If Julie C. drops the hint, you should take it.

    Don't let Claudia set you up on a date.

    Never let Julie N. get out of your sight, whether as a friend or a lover, She is truly special.

    K will become your future wife, you just have to wait 18 years and two divorces first.
     
  18. No_Strings

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    6
    I just realised I still have almost one year of it left.

    *giggles*
     
  19. camper joe

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    2,839
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Enjoy while it last.
     
  20. SpeedoGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    4,229
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, USA
    Yah! That one and: Don't wait for opportunity to knock twice.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted