Going on a date then never hearing from the guy again

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by golddong, Mar 14, 2011.

  1. golddong

    golddong Active Member

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    I went on a date recently and everything went well, the guy was very forth coming in showing his interest in me, touching my leg occasionally, compliments etc...we spoke aot and shared many similar interests..later we moved to a different pub, a little bit drunker and he immediatly started kissing me, and thats pretty much what we spent doing for the rest of the night, we spent 5 hours on the date and I told him I enjoyed his company and he said he the same
    The night ended and I was suppose to go back to his, he had his bike with him so I said I would get a taxi and meet him at his, however disaster struck as no taxi man knew the addess (the address was vaild as I checked it on google maps the next day). Anyway I text him the next day and told him what happened but he hasnt replied (that was 4 days ago).

    So my question is, is he not interested, should I text him again, dont want to appear desperate...what do you think happened here ...oh and he's hung hehe :wink:
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    Don't text him again. He is either a cad and a bounder or he's dead in a ditch somewhere. If it's the latter send a food basket to his family. I suspect you dodged a bullet by things not working out. Someone on the up and up would have called you before you had to text to inquire about your safety and well being. Sorry you had this experience but it sounds like he was or is playing games.
     
  3. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

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    BTW, you're not the only guy who has had this happen. I've had this happen several times over the past 20+ years.
     
  4. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    The infinite charm of nudie.:tongue:

    In other news: The fact he didn't reply doesn't sound good, but there could be explanations.
    You might text him one more time.
    If he replies with a good account of what happened, you're good to go (with your eyes perhaps quite wide open).
    If he doesn't reply or the explanation ain't so good ... return to the hunt.


    (Maybe he was acting with an extroversion and a warmth that he can't always match ... and fears that you will be disappointed if you meet him again. Just sayin ....)
     
  5. nudeyorker

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    Excuse me but... from the Urban Dictionary...
    Although they are appropriately linked, the precise meanings differ. A "cad" is one who does harm to a Hhucks honor or sense of self-worth as, for example, by taking him for a garden walk when he has no intention of marrying him. A "bounder" is a presumptious upstart, seemingly ignorant of, but perhaps merely indifferent to, fundamental norms of propriety
     
  6. maxcok

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    Have you considered maybe he didn't buy your explanation (understandably) and thought you bailed on him? Why didn't you call or text him that same night to confirm whether you had the correct address? It sounds like there's room for suspicion on both sides. Or maybe he got carried away with the drink, and thought differently about your connection later.

    If you're that interested in seeing him again, all you can do at this point is try to talk to him (I would call rather than text) and see if he's interested or not. If not, let it go and move on.
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    I also wondered why you wanted until the next day to text him. I imagined him sitting at home for you, waiting, wondering what happened as the minutes ticked by. Maybe he thought that you bailed on him and that you weren't being honest in your text message the next day. He might need more convincing that you're really interested.
     
  8. golddong

    golddong Active Member

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    I did ring him the same night, no answer...guessed he was on his bike and didnt hear the phone ring....

     
  9. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Ah, then Rachid was a bounder.
    I will forgive him.

    Good advice, all of it.
    Golddong, if you have the telephone number, why not phone?

    EDIT: Just saw your last post. Okay, dude. Then phone or text one final time.
     
  10. golddong

    golddong Active Member

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    I did ring him the same night, just after he jetted off on the bike...no answer...and no calls from his end or texts on the night in question :confused:

     
  11. golddong

    golddong Active Member

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    I did....should have said that in original post...called the same night but no answer and no call back from him :mad:
     
  12. nudeyorker

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    I appreciate what both of you are saying, but when I first moved to NYC I lived on Minetta Lane and I knew from experience that 99.99% of the cab drivers in the city had no idea how to get there so I gave everyone visiting me detailed directions to give the cab driver. All of that aside if you texted someone and they do not return the text then I am left to assume they do not want to talk to you. However I do agree with both of you on the point that I would have called immediately on a cell phone from the cab saying...The cabbies have no idea where you live. But you can't go back so you are only left with the present facts of the guy did not call or return the text.
     
  13. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    No, I mean you might still make one final call or send one final text.
    And then he'll either get back to you, or you'll have certainty that you should move on.
     
  14. nudeyorker

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    You have done your part... move on!
    Why? Because it looks desperate. This guy deserves better than a cad and a bounder.
     
  15. golddong

    golddong Active Member

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    This is the probably, Im torn between either texting and being rejected or not texting and never knowing!!!
     
  16. bostonsk8

    bostonsk8 New Member

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    I wish you better luck than I have had over the last 10+ year, but sadly this is a pretty common thing. I don't know if it is "gay" thing or not but it sucks and can be disheartening.

    Case in point...

    I met a guy online a few weeks ago, we swaped a few emails, talked on the phone and finally got together for dinner and a few beers. Things seemed great, there was a Chemistry between us we had alot in common and after a 2 hour dinner we were having such a good time we went to a Pub and spent another 3 hours drinking, talking and getting to know each other. The night ended, we kissed for a while in my car and made plans to continue our date on the weekend.

    Two days later on Saturday, I call to make plans and get no answer, no return call, no reply to voicemail. I tried to again on Sunday and got nothing and was confused and a little angry.

    He did finally return my call about 5 days late and said he was busy with work and that he had a great time and wanted to get together again and that he would text me the following day to make plans. I was skeptical but hopeful that things would work out but got no text the following day and left another voicemail that went unanswered.

    Three weeks later I get an email out of the blue from him, saying that he was checking out profile on Manhunt and hope I was doing well. He said that I was really Hot and wished I had X rated pictures of myself on my profile and even asked if I could email him some.

    I am still confused but moved on, just another life lesson. Generally if the person you are interested doesn't get back to then you you could be in for trouble...

    ... they could have problems dealing with being gay and can't handle a relationship.

    ... they could be self absorbed and inconsiderate.

    ... they could be NOT interested but don't have the balls to tell you.


    Whatever their deal is don't beat yourself up over it.

    -Mark...
     
  17. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Well, maybe the guy is a cad and a bounder ... and a boor and a cur and a rotter.
    Dunno.
    But sometimes being too self-protective is self-damaging.
    Our friend can't know at this point.
    I think calling or texting a final time is worth the risk.
    But it's a judgment call.
     
  18. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Golddong, when you called the night of this event, did you leave any messages?
     
  19. nudeyorker

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    It is a judgement call, but I'll give my final tip of dating success... if you are not too available and somewhat unavailable you become more desirable. It usually worked for me and it sounds like perhaps it's a game that the guy is playing with golddong... but to make it actually work you need to have some common manners of returning calls and making the pretense of being busy curing cancer or your career in accessories is taking up more time than you are able to give to a relationship at the moment.
     
  20. maxcok

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    I wonder why this wasn't in your OP, and I wonder how hard or how long you tried to reach him that night.

    Should have if he was determined. A text is too detached imho.

    I can only say I hate, hate, hate waiting around and being stood up. If someone I had known a short time did that to me, moreover after getting me all worked up, they'd have to have a damn convincing explanation and make a huge stretch to show their interest and sincerity before I'd be inclined to give them another shot.
    If they did it again, end of the line.

    If you're serious, you'll call, not text, and sincerely apologize if it's warranted.
     
    #20 maxcok, Mar 14, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2011
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